She's ill. Mental illness is like any chronic disease - on the good days you're in remission and living your life; on the bad days you're on the stronger meds and in hospital.
So, DON'T say 'I'm sorry'. DON'T say 'get well soon'.
DO tell her you care. DO remind her that she matters. How you say it is really up to you. If you're the kind of friends who're stoic n' bros-y what you say IS going to be different than if you're the huggy n' flaily type, respectful acquaintances or hipsters who've mingled. So, I can't really tell you WHAT to say... But I can point you in the direction of what to avoid. *points up*
Basically, people who're ill don't really like being reminded that they are ill - that's across the spectrum from cancer to anxiety; schizophrenia to broken bones. Just let 'em know that you're there for 'em anytime. For any reason. :)) I hope that helps.
Thanks, Fahre. I've struggled with mental illness, but nowhere near the level she has. I'm trying to let her know I'm there for her, but it's scary, you know? I just feel helpless.
*snugs* I know, I'm the same. Tbh, I reckon it's worse when you're a sufferer too. You can empathise and your compassion for others kicks in, but so does the self-doubt, self-questioning and lack of self-worth... Annnnnnd you end up triggering your own episode.
It's absolutely fucking TERRIFYING, dude. D: You're not helpless. You're just worried that you'll say or do something that'll make things worse. You won't. Trust me, you won't.
There're TWO things you can give here right now - honesty and reliability. Say you'll be there if she needs you, and BE THERE if she needs you. If you're close and have a social routine going - meeting for coffee/cinema/library/whatever - let her know you'll be thrilled to start that back up when she's ready. That's your key phrase: whenever she's ready. Let her set the timetable, keep any promises you make, and you'll be reassuring her without overwhelming her.
Your instincts are right, go with 'em. :) It is difficult, but you have to trust in yourself and in how well you know the person concerned. Once you do that your instinctive response is usually the right one.
So, DON'T say 'I'm sorry'. DON'T say 'get well soon'.
DO tell her you care. DO remind her that she matters. How you say it is really up to you. If you're the kind of friends who're stoic n' bros-y what you say IS going to be different than if you're the huggy n' flaily type, respectful acquaintances or hipsters who've mingled. So, I can't really tell you WHAT to say... But I can point you in the direction of what to avoid. *points up*
Basically, people who're ill don't really like being reminded that they are ill - that's across the spectrum from cancer to anxiety; schizophrenia to broken bones. Just let 'em know that you're there for 'em anytime. For any reason. :)) I hope that helps.
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Thanks again, dude. You give the best advice.
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It's absolutely fucking TERRIFYING, dude. D: You're not helpless. You're just worried that you'll say or do something that'll make things worse. You won't. Trust me, you won't.
There're TWO things you can give here right now - honesty and reliability. Say you'll be there if she needs you, and BE THERE if she needs you. If you're close and have a social routine going - meeting for coffee/cinema/library/whatever - let her know you'll be thrilled to start that back up when she's ready. That's your key phrase: whenever she's ready. Let her set the timetable, keep any promises you make, and you'll be reassuring her without overwhelming her.
Nah. I suck. *hides*
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Thanks for the reassurance. It's hard to know what to do in situations like this, yeah?
NO, LIES. You're AMAZING.
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Your instincts are right, go with 'em. :) It is difficult, but you have to trust in yourself and in how well you know the person concerned. Once you do that your instinctive response is usually the right one.
*salutes* I try. :))
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