I decided to augment my Ninth Legion fetish yesterday by watching The Eagle. It was... um. Well, it was different from the book, that's for sure
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Again with the shared braincell. EVERYTHING, including the Centurion preference, IAWTY! o.O
If only Jamie Bell and his low-low-loooow trews had shown up in the first 15mins, I think I could've swallowed the Billy Elliot-induced guilt and not palled the disk off on m'movie bud. But, god, nearly an HOUR of Channing Tatum moping and having premonitions about ninja Druid attacks... *headdesk* BORING!
Is it just me or is EVERYTHING from the start of the colloseum scene onward pretty much Roman AU fanfic without the virgin sacrifice/institutional rape?
They could have just deleted everything before the colosseum scene. Because after that it was actually decent- the plot picked up (except for the twenty odd inexplicable minutes of Channing moping AGAIN after Esca convinced the Seal Tribe that he was the slave instead).
The slash is canon. I mean... it just is. The slash is CANON. "I thought I'd lost you"? Seriously? And that scene in the water when they're totally ten seconds away from kissing? I'm convinced there's a version out there that's ten minutes longer and is just them making out in the woods.
YES AND YES! The first 45-50mins, Christ, it's DULL. I kept imagining Fassy in The Plank's role, and not even HE could've made the pace pick up. It was very pedestrian directing, imo. The colosseum scene though? HOLY CRUMBLY CHRIST ON A CRACKER! :O
Oh, yeaaah. There's NO OTHER EXPLANATION BUT 'the slash is canon'. I thought they were going to go at it after the hog hunt. DEFINITELY during the Highlands wander (so many WASTED snuggling under cloaks opportunities). Annnd after Marcus was randomly sent to the hut to get ~freshened up, I was expecting a proper fanfic conclusion to that... Y'know, grumpy Roman gets 'I'm trying to save your life here!' speech that Briton can't quite finish 'cause the grumpy Roman is naked, oiled and stretched out on seal pelts. *koff*
Yeah, the pacing wasn't good at all. It's weird, because the director also did Last King of Scotland. Odd.
And UGH, GOD, I'd pin shirtless!Jamie Bell to the ground any day. There would be licking. It would be terrible. It's actually a bit weird for me to see him all grown up, since I first got a crush on him when I was about ten and saw Billy Elliot for the first time *dirty little secret warning*. And now he's AAALLL grown up and damn fine.
And sassy Briton keeps stumbling over words while staring at grumpy Roman, and making awkward Freudian slips. "If it weren't for me, you'd have cracked your head open on a cock- a ROCK- somewhere by now! You just need to get in me- GET OUT OF HERE- before the tribe wakes up."
I noticed that. :/ What got me is how NO ONE noticed they were dragging, at most, a 15min 'this is a Roman with a chip on his shoulder' prelude out to engulf 40% of the movie. I wonder if the writers, producers, editors, director and every consultant on the production had battle-blindness. Really, they could've kicked the lot off from Marcus being pensioned off, 'cause he doesn't have another magical tactical premonition for the rest of the film.
... I'm with you on the licking. Unf. Billy Elliot-wise, I was SO all about his older brother. Jamie Draven - YUM! You really need to see Ultimate Force, btw. S2 first, 'cause it's all about Teh A IN A TOWEL! And S1 'cause it's surprisingly GOOD.
I'm so happy that there's no alternative view of the "Did I shame myself" line. There's really only one way to read it, the sassy Briton totally DID feel the grumpy Roman's erection there. XD
If only Jamie Bell and his low-low-loooow trews had shown up in the first 15mins, I think I could've swallowed the Billy Elliot-induced guilt and not palled the disk off on m'movie bud. But, god, nearly an HOUR of Channing Tatum moping and having premonitions about ninja Druid attacks... *headdesk* BORING!
Is it just me or is EVERYTHING from the start of the colloseum scene onward pretty much Roman AU fanfic without the virgin sacrifice/institutional rape?
Reply
The slash is canon. I mean... it just is. The slash is CANON. "I thought I'd lost you"? Seriously? And that scene in the water when they're totally ten seconds away from kissing? I'm convinced there's a version out there that's ten minutes longer and is just them making out in the woods.
Reply
Oh, yeaaah. There's NO OTHER EXPLANATION BUT 'the slash is canon'. I thought they were going to go at it after the hog hunt. DEFINITELY during the Highlands wander (so many WASTED snuggling under cloaks opportunities). Annnd after Marcus was randomly sent to the hut to get ~freshened up, I was expecting a proper fanfic conclusion to that... Y'know, grumpy Roman gets 'I'm trying to save your life here!' speech that Briton can't quite finish 'cause the grumpy Roman is naked, oiled and stretched out on seal pelts. *koff*
Reply
And UGH, GOD, I'd pin shirtless!Jamie Bell to the ground any day. There would be licking. It would be terrible. It's actually a bit weird for me to see him all grown up, since I first got a crush on him when I was about ten and saw Billy Elliot for the first time *dirty little secret warning*. And now he's AAALLL grown up and damn fine.
And sassy Briton keeps stumbling over words while staring at grumpy Roman, and making awkward Freudian slips. "If it weren't for me, you'd have cracked your head open on a cock- a ROCK- somewhere by now! You just need to get in me- GET OUT OF HERE- before the tribe wakes up."
Reply
... I'm with you on the licking. Unf. Billy Elliot-wise, I was SO all about his older brother. Jamie Draven - YUM! You really need to see Ultimate Force, btw. S2 first, 'cause it's all about Teh A IN A TOWEL! And S1 'cause it's surprisingly GOOD.
I'm so happy that there's no alternative view of the "Did I shame myself" line. There's really only one way to read it, the sassy Briton totally DID feel the grumpy Roman's erection there. XD
Reply
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