Blargh
I think if I have to spend one more fucking day in this house I'm going to kill something. I can't even go to the cemetery because it's been raining so much. I just sit in my room all day and read. I have the worst goddamn writer's block I've had in months. I'm having artists block as well, and everything I draw looks fucking awful. My head is clogged up with useless shit. I wish my brain was like my computer; I could just go through my hard drive and delete the stuff I didn't want anymore. Unfortunately the only way to do that in real life probably involves a scalpel and a prolonged vegetative state, and I'm not quite THAT desperate.
Everything makes me think about the thoughts that I'm trying to avoid thinking about (that was incredibly awkwardly worded). Here are a list of the usually innocent things that are currently sending me off into deep bouts of angst:
Knitting
Tea
Chocolate cake
Sexual activity
I'm being deprived of the best things in life! I can't fucking have my normal five cups of tea a day, so I'm crankier than usual, I can't have chocolate cake EVEN THOUGH THERE IS ONE RIGHT IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE, and I am totally turned off of anything sexual right now. How am I supposed to release my stress without caffine, sugar, or Mr. Palm and his five brothers? So my two default moods right now are: Bitchy and Angsty. Joy. I can't wait 'till my dad gets back from his business trip. Oh, yeah, and he's going to be a day late, because the fucking studio can't get their shit together. Great. Just fucking fantastic.
I need to cut down on the cursing. And the whining. This is turning into an emo blog :P
Everything makes me think about the thoughts that I'm trying to avoid thinking about (that was incredibly awkwardly worded). Here are a list of the usually innocent things that are currently sending me off into deep bouts of angst:
Knitting
Tea
Chocolate cake
Sexual activity
I'm being deprived of the best things in life! I can't fucking have my normal five cups of tea a day, so I'm crankier than usual, I can't have chocolate cake EVEN THOUGH THERE IS ONE RIGHT IN MY FUCKING FRIDGE, and I am totally turned off of anything sexual right now. How am I supposed to release my stress without caffine, sugar, or Mr. Palm and his five brothers? So my two default moods right now are: Bitchy and Angsty. Joy. I can't wait 'till my dad gets back from his business trip. Oh, yeah, and he's going to be a day late, because the fucking studio can't get their shit together. Great. Just fucking fantastic.
I need to cut down on the cursing. And the whining. This is turning into an emo blog :P