Inglourious Basterds Picspam - Chapter One
Zip folder (uploaded at Mediafire, 73.26MB, features the full-sized, unaltered caps, both those used in the picspam and others that have been left out.)
Even before Landa shows up, you just know that some people are going to die in this chapter. No words are needed, just the look on LaPadite's face (and, well, that fact that it's a Tarantino movie) are more than enouh to inform you of this fact. Dun dun dun.
Look at that bad-arse motherfucker. Even the cows in the background know that he will fuck your shit up.
I've developed a drinking game of sorts for this movie, and one of the rules is that you have to drink every time a multi-chapter character is either introduced or re-introduced. Even if I were only playing by this rule, it guarantees at least a small level of intoxication before the movie is over (the reason this is relevant is due to the fact that I consider this handshake to be Landa's first introduction. And I like to talk about drinking.)
Oh, Landa, you old perve. I love how he has absolutely no reservation about blatantly charming/checking out the LaPadite daughters. He's such a tart.
Blatant tongue porn is, well, pretty blatant. At least we know that he has healthy bones. *resists the urge to make some lame joke about one bone in particular*
I included these caps for two reasons. Reason number one - Léa Seydoux is hot. Reason number two - Charlotte and Shosanna were totally getting it on, and in that wonderful land known as my own personal canon, these shots prove it. None of the other LaPadite daughters show Landa anywhere near the amount of outright loathing as Charlotte does, who looks almost revolted by his mere presence, and there has to be a reason why she is so fiercely protective of the Dreyfuses. (I suppose one could argue that her a Shosanna shared a strong friendship, but I think I prefer my canon. It's prettier.)
Once again, gratuitous porn (this time of the finger variety) is completely gratuitous. And, on a random side note, how annoying would it be to have to write with one of those pens? You would probably have to refill it every five minutes, and I, for one, do not have nearly enough patience to do that.
Also, in other news, although I didn't include a screencap (and I'm not even sure if there is one in the zip folder), the man does have extremely pretty handwriting.
I fucking love this panning shot. I just adore how, with little more than a few shots like this and the dialogue, Tarantino manages to have you on the edge of your seat. It's so simple, in a way, and yet that simplicity is so deceptive. He's made it so we know that the Dreyfuses are under the floorboards, LaPadite knows it, and Landa definitely knows it, and yet it's not explicitly stated until the very end. Really, as much as I love Tarantino the director, it's Tarantino the writer that makes me want to see his movies.
Yeah, another "pretty shot is pretty" cap. I have a feeling there will be quite a few of these over the course of these picspams. Also, it only happens a few times throughout the movie, mainly only in this chapter, but sometimes Mélanie Laurent really reminds me of Uma Thurman, even though they look nothing alike. I think Tarantino's fetishes are showing again.
The whole rat analogy is made of so much epic win. LaPadite is playing right into Landa's twisted little game, the fly stuck in a web just waiting for the spider to ingest him whole. The main reason it's such a disarming scene is because Waltz just delivers it so calmly, almost jovially.
I love my jolly little Nazi.
MOTHERFUCKING CALABASH FOR THE WIN!!! This is Landa's pimp pipe, used just to prove that he is a bigger pimp than all of the other wannabes. You could almost fill taht pipe with water, and have a tiny little person row around it in a boat.
And I'll hear no word of it being used as any sort of compensation...
Landa: You're sheltering enemies of the state, are you not?
I'm sure I'll say this plenty more times, but Christoph Waltz needs to win every single award in the history of existence for his performance.
Mmm, Nazi boots. (Oh, I am so going to hell.)
As a slight fan of gore (understatement of the fucking century), it's a little disconcerting to think that I'm happy with the fact that there was no blood shown in this bit. The explosion of woodchips and Landa's happy little grin were unsettling enough without using it.
Do I need to point out how wrong it is to ship these two? Because I do. But then again, I ship this entire cast and am partially convinced that a lot of the world's problems would magically disappear if one giant orgy were to happen, so perhaps I'm not the best person to judge.
The framing of this shot is fucking brilliant. The use of silhouettes and the fact that the doorway is just slightly off-centre give it a lovely off-kilter feel, and just reinforce the fact that, vene though there are plenty of other stories in this movie, at its very heart is the story of Shosanna and the man who fucked up her life.
Landa: Au revoir, Shosanna.
Chills, dude. Every single time.
This cap was included for two reasons, the first being that it is a pretty landscape shot, and the second one being the fact that, off-screen, a cow is mooing. I don't know why, by random acts of cows mooing always amuse me (talk about simple things amusing simple minds).