Tenth Doctor/Simm!Master Picspam
Happy extremely belated birthday to ripley312 !!! This may not be exactly what you were expecting, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. It has pictures in any case, which is pretty much the point of a picspam. For everyone else, I am so very sorry for inflicting my demented sense of humour upon you.
Also, just a side note, this *isn't* the picspam of the final three episodes of New!Who S3 that I promised ages ago. That would involve plenty more actual episode commentary (AKA Good God, can I have a drink now?)
A Tale of Two Timelords: contains full-frontal nudity, rpf and bad crack (none of it's mine, by the way. It all belongs to the BBC and, in the case of the actors, themselves). Also, it might pay to ignore the lack of clothing and background continuity.
Over the years, the Doctor had become increasingly lonely. It was difficult, being the last Timelord in existence. He started to drink more and more...
...but that only led to sexual encounters he would rather forget.
So, eventually, he did what many a lonely soul does in such a situation. He put an ad on an internet dating service. He thought the facial tribute to just how dirty he can be in the sack was a nice touch.
Little did the Doctor know that his video would attract another Timelord in hiding. The Master knew he had to get in to contact with the Doctor. He even regenerated to make himself nice and pretty for their eventual meeting. (As for how he regenerated, well, that's a whole other sordid story. There were intergalactic toys involved, and I don't mean Tonka trucks.)
The time eventually came when the two Timelords met, face-to-face, for the first time in years.
But the Doctor was disappointed. I mean, this version of the Master didn't even have a beard...
...(and no, Lucy didn't count.)
The Master, it is safe to say, did not expect this sort of reaction.
The visions he had in his mind of a naked Doctor, ready and waiting...
...soon gave way to the stone cold reality of a Doctor who was far too emo for any of the kinky stuff he wrote down on his profile.
The Master wasn't a universally renowned super-villain for nothing, however. He soon came up with a brilliant plan.
He thought the best way to ease the Doctor's emo soul was to write him a song. This plan did not work though. The Master was perpleced. Who in the universe could resist a song that featured the lyrics, "Oh Doctah! If you were a plane, I would land ya!", sung to the tune of "Mandy" by Barry Manliow?
The Master was never one to rest idly after his first plan failed though, so he soon whipped out...
...the vibrator he had made especially for the Doctor (for those times when one Master was simply not enough to do what he wanted to do for the Doctor). But it still had no effect.
The Master still had one plan up his sleeve though.
He didn't really want to go through with this plan. It was a tad strange, even for him. But the Doctor had left him with no choice.
He used his laser screwdriver to age the Doctor so much, that even he wouldn't be able to get it up anymore.
He figured that if the Doctor reamined impotent for long enough, he would be begging to shag anything.
Time passed, and eventually the Doctor gave in. He needed it so much, he fell to his hands and knees and begged the Master to return him to his previous form. He would do anything the Master wanted, as long as he granted the Doctor that one thing.
The Master returned the Doctor to his previous form. Naturally, since the clothes he wore while he was Gollum an incredibly old, shrivelled man were now far too small, they ripped in the process, and the torn bits of material fell to the floor.
After the Master picked his jaw up from the floor...
...he was very pleased with this turn of events.
And their sex toys,...
...as well as their tiemcocks...
...were never neglected again.
The actors portraying these characters, whose names were John Simm and David Tennant, were also pleased with the way this story ended up...
...for they had been shagging like rabbits for ages.
Even John's wife Kate was pleased. She had an awful lot of fun when she joined in.
The End.
A/N: Because this can not be repeated enough, I am so very sorry.
Also, just a side note, this *isn't* the picspam of the final three episodes of New!Who S3 that I promised ages ago. That would involve plenty more actual episode commentary (AKA Good God, can I have a drink now?)
A Tale of Two Timelords: contains full-frontal nudity, rpf and bad crack (none of it's mine, by the way. It all belongs to the BBC and, in the case of the actors, themselves). Also, it might pay to ignore the lack of clothing and background continuity.
Over the years, the Doctor had become increasingly lonely. It was difficult, being the last Timelord in existence. He started to drink more and more...
...but that only led to sexual encounters he would rather forget.
So, eventually, he did what many a lonely soul does in such a situation. He put an ad on an internet dating service. He thought the facial tribute to just how dirty he can be in the sack was a nice touch.
Little did the Doctor know that his video would attract another Timelord in hiding. The Master knew he had to get in to contact with the Doctor. He even regenerated to make himself nice and pretty for their eventual meeting. (As for how he regenerated, well, that's a whole other sordid story. There were intergalactic toys involved, and I don't mean Tonka trucks.)
The time eventually came when the two Timelords met, face-to-face, for the first time in years.
But the Doctor was disappointed. I mean, this version of the Master didn't even have a beard...
...(and no, Lucy didn't count.)
The Master, it is safe to say, did not expect this sort of reaction.
The visions he had in his mind of a naked Doctor, ready and waiting...
...soon gave way to the stone cold reality of a Doctor who was far too emo for any of the kinky stuff he wrote down on his profile.
The Master wasn't a universally renowned super-villain for nothing, however. He soon came up with a brilliant plan.
He thought the best way to ease the Doctor's emo soul was to write him a song. This plan did not work though. The Master was perpleced. Who in the universe could resist a song that featured the lyrics, "Oh Doctah! If you were a plane, I would land ya!", sung to the tune of "Mandy" by Barry Manliow?
The Master was never one to rest idly after his first plan failed though, so he soon whipped out...
...the vibrator he had made especially for the Doctor (for those times when one Master was simply not enough to do what he wanted to do for the Doctor). But it still had no effect.
The Master still had one plan up his sleeve though.
He didn't really want to go through with this plan. It was a tad strange, even for him. But the Doctor had left him with no choice.
He used his laser screwdriver to age the Doctor so much, that even he wouldn't be able to get it up anymore.
He figured that if the Doctor reamined impotent for long enough, he would be begging to shag anything.
Time passed, and eventually the Doctor gave in. He needed it so much, he fell to his hands and knees and begged the Master to return him to his previous form. He would do anything the Master wanted, as long as he granted the Doctor that one thing.
The Master returned the Doctor to his previous form. Naturally, since the clothes he wore while he was Gollum an incredibly old, shrivelled man were now far too small, they ripped in the process, and the torn bits of material fell to the floor.
After the Master picked his jaw up from the floor...
...he was very pleased with this turn of events.
And their sex toys,...
...as well as their tiemcocks...
...were never neglected again.
The actors portraying these characters, whose names were John Simm and David Tennant, were also pleased with the way this story ended up...
...for they had been shagging like rabbits for ages.
Even John's wife Kate was pleased. She had an awful lot of fun when she joined in.
The End.
A/N: Because this can not be repeated enough, I am so very sorry.