I'm no good at lip service, except when they're yours, mi amor
Sitting in my room listening to Fall Out Boy surrounded by pokemon toys. Sometimes I think maybe I've changed a lot but also I definitely haven't.
I've noticed my moods and self confidence are kind of cyclical and I go through the same ups and downs, and it's weird and comforting that I'm starting to notice this because before I used to get really upset about downs and it would make it a lot worse. Now that I know it'll come and go it's easier to deal with. I still wish I didn't go through these phases where I just feel not good about my body, I don't feel good in anything and I get weird and hyper sensitive about clothing and everything. I know it'll pass though.
Things have been weird at home. It's not really a secret as much anymore so I can go ahead and say in here that Reagan and I aren't together anymore. Things are certainly different, which of course they would be. I guess I didn't really think they'd go the way they are but, it is what it is.
Merry Christmas I could care less
Sometimes I think I seem a little careless because when bad things happen I really wont sit around and be sad about it too much, I like to keep myself busy when I'm upset or when things are difficult. It makes me seem like I don't care I guess, I know my Mom and I have fought before because she mistook my coping mechanisms for apathy. I sometimes wonder if I'm causing similar problems now, but also I know I'm doing my best and that's all I can do.
I just want to be better than, your heads only medicine
I'm having a somewhat lazy day and it's nice, I've been pretty exhausted the past couple days, I fell asleep talking to Miki and slept in way later than I planned but it's okay. I wanted to stay up later talking with Miki though!
I ended up going out to dinner with Phillip and Gary last night, I'm not so mad at Phillip because basically if you buy me food I forgive you. Especially all you can eat shrimp. I also really like Phillip even if he is flaky, I'm just cautious about every making plans. It was cool getting to eat dinner with Gary as well, I miss him he was a really cool manager. I hope maybe we can all hang out again sometime. It's fun getting to hang out with people. I remember before I started this job I used to get really hung up on how nervous I'd be about hanging out with new people. I was always worried if I would be interesting enough and not too awkward. Now it's whatever, for the most part I know hanging out isn't really a big deal and also I maybe play off my awkwardness enough so it's charming? Or something. Being able to just casually go out with people has been fun, I'm happy that I've made friends at my new job!
I need to stop eating so many snacks but also I love snacks.
I've noticed my moods and self confidence are kind of cyclical and I go through the same ups and downs, and it's weird and comforting that I'm starting to notice this because before I used to get really upset about downs and it would make it a lot worse. Now that I know it'll come and go it's easier to deal with. I still wish I didn't go through these phases where I just feel not good about my body, I don't feel good in anything and I get weird and hyper sensitive about clothing and everything. I know it'll pass though.
Things have been weird at home. It's not really a secret as much anymore so I can go ahead and say in here that Reagan and I aren't together anymore. Things are certainly different, which of course they would be. I guess I didn't really think they'd go the way they are but, it is what it is.
Merry Christmas I could care less
Sometimes I think I seem a little careless because when bad things happen I really wont sit around and be sad about it too much, I like to keep myself busy when I'm upset or when things are difficult. It makes me seem like I don't care I guess, I know my Mom and I have fought before because she mistook my coping mechanisms for apathy. I sometimes wonder if I'm causing similar problems now, but also I know I'm doing my best and that's all I can do.
I just want to be better than, your heads only medicine
I'm having a somewhat lazy day and it's nice, I've been pretty exhausted the past couple days, I fell asleep talking to Miki and slept in way later than I planned but it's okay. I wanted to stay up later talking with Miki though!
I ended up going out to dinner with Phillip and Gary last night, I'm not so mad at Phillip because basically if you buy me food I forgive you. Especially all you can eat shrimp. I also really like Phillip even if he is flaky, I'm just cautious about every making plans. It was cool getting to eat dinner with Gary as well, I miss him he was a really cool manager. I hope maybe we can all hang out again sometime. It's fun getting to hang out with people. I remember before I started this job I used to get really hung up on how nervous I'd be about hanging out with new people. I was always worried if I would be interesting enough and not too awkward. Now it's whatever, for the most part I know hanging out isn't really a big deal and also I maybe play off my awkwardness enough so it's charming? Or something. Being able to just casually go out with people has been fun, I'm happy that I've made friends at my new job!
I need to stop eating so many snacks but also I love snacks.