(no subject)
I no longer care about anything. Well thats a bit of a lie, but I refuse to be nice to people anymore. I tried, I can't anymore. I hate school, I have nothing to look forward to. I have no classes that interest me. To fall in love would be one the worst things that could happen to me, I know what happens. I see. I wish it was summer again, I may have been unhappy but it was sadly fun for me. I was on the verge of the best thing my life has ever had the pleasure of seeing, and then the top three worst. I'll never fall in love..I think about my life when I'm older and I don't see anything. I don't know whats going to happen..to me. I wonder if I'm missed right now, I kind of doubt it. All I really want I guess is to be happy, but I doubt that could happen too. Maybe thats why I see Dr. Bonnie. Sitting beside me right now are fifteen tablets of lipitor. I could die right now, and I think only God would care, but then I'd go to hell and where would that leave me. Meh I sound crazy, maybe it's because I'm reading the bell jar again. I think so little of almost everyone around me, I've had my "heart" "broken" and now I feel nothing. I watched myself today and found I respond to nothing anymore. The only thing I can think of that I like is sleep. I've read about this, but I can't remember where or what. I desperately need something worth while.