Finding the Light as an Atheist
So you think that your life is over. Your entire existence has been a struggle and everything that you touch ends up falling apart. You find yourself in a place of darkness that you are unable to escape from. The only emotions you know are hatred and anger which you have learned to glamorize for the sake of art or survival. You do not believe in concepts such finding the light beacause you are too intelligent to believe in mystic jargon. What's the point in being happy anyway? Isn't happiness for the unenlightened? The many? The humans?
I have news for you. It is possible to be happy after having been through the worst of the worst. No matter how much trauma you have been through there is a light that you can find. No matter how far into the depths of human depravity you have plunged: no matter how much terror you have witnessed: no matter how many horrible people you have been around: it is possible for you to be happy without sacrificing your knowledge. All it takes is deprogramming yourself from the verbal and emotional abuse that has caused you to sink into this hole.
Step 1: Cut all of the people who make you feel bad about yourself out of your life. In extreme cases like mine this may mean both your spouse and your mother. Acquaintances are another factor. How many people are you in contact with who make you feel bad about yourself? Get rid of these people no matter how many mutual friends you have. They are not going to help you advance in any way. You may feel like you need these people to survive but it is better to be sinking alone than swimming with people who will end up drowning you. Let yourself sink alone and you will realize that you no longer want to sink. Now you have no choice but to learn how to swim.
Step 2: Accept that you may not be able to swim as well as someone like Amanda Palmer or the organizers of SXSW. Accept that your theme camp may not be the most exciting attraction on the playa. Admit that you may have a difficult hand or disposition and that life is not fair. Do not fall into a mystic trap and blame this on being enlightened, cursed, etc. Now swim as hard and as fast as you can. Do not look back. If you can get through this struggle you can get through anything. Some day Amanda Palmer may be coming to you for advice and some day you may have the most exciting theme camp at Burning Man. Things like this often change overnight with a simple news article or collaboration. Yet in the end you should not be comparing yourself to other people. What matters is what you are doing with the cards you have been dealt.
Step 3: Make the decision not to be a pity machine. Realize that nobody is going to feel bad for you if you live in a country like America. If you have a semi-large audience who is understanding of your struggle this may be difficult. For every 5 people who wish you well there are 15 people who wish you would get over yourself. I hate to put it that way but this is a lesson that I learned the hard way. Discussing your personal issues is never a good way to advance yourself. It may get you support from the people who truly care about you and it may even thin out the herd but it will not improve your life in the long run. It is a temporary solution to a much greater problem. Having a supportive network of friends is very important but taking action to improve your life is the only way to get out of your hole.
Step 4: Do things that make you happy. Think about what brings you joy and make a list of these things. Do not look for other people who are living in darkness so you can feel a sense of community. Look for people who are living happy lives and invite them to hang out. Form a new community. Read an uplifting book or listen to an uplifting song. (uplifting does not have to = vapid) Engage in a new hobby. Attend an event that will completely shift your perspective. Try something you have always been curious about. Let yourself go. This is your life and you are free to do whatever you want with it.
Step 5: Have a plan for success. Make sure that everything you do is related to this plan. Live and breathe success. Become an inspiration to other people. Do not think of yourself as a trainwreck. View yourself as someone who is getting back on track. Remember that for every 5 people in your way there are 15 people who will support your new direction. There are nice people everywhere and many of them are successful. Some have also found the light after dwelling in darkness. Some have been even worse off than you have. Consider yourself a successful person who has not yet reached your full potential. Consider this a time of healing and change.
I have news for you. It is possible to be happy after having been through the worst of the worst. No matter how much trauma you have been through there is a light that you can find. No matter how far into the depths of human depravity you have plunged: no matter how much terror you have witnessed: no matter how many horrible people you have been around: it is possible for you to be happy without sacrificing your knowledge. All it takes is deprogramming yourself from the verbal and emotional abuse that has caused you to sink into this hole.
Step 1: Cut all of the people who make you feel bad about yourself out of your life. In extreme cases like mine this may mean both your spouse and your mother. Acquaintances are another factor. How many people are you in contact with who make you feel bad about yourself? Get rid of these people no matter how many mutual friends you have. They are not going to help you advance in any way. You may feel like you need these people to survive but it is better to be sinking alone than swimming with people who will end up drowning you. Let yourself sink alone and you will realize that you no longer want to sink. Now you have no choice but to learn how to swim.
Step 2: Accept that you may not be able to swim as well as someone like Amanda Palmer or the organizers of SXSW. Accept that your theme camp may not be the most exciting attraction on the playa. Admit that you may have a difficult hand or disposition and that life is not fair. Do not fall into a mystic trap and blame this on being enlightened, cursed, etc. Now swim as hard and as fast as you can. Do not look back. If you can get through this struggle you can get through anything. Some day Amanda Palmer may be coming to you for advice and some day you may have the most exciting theme camp at Burning Man. Things like this often change overnight with a simple news article or collaboration. Yet in the end you should not be comparing yourself to other people. What matters is what you are doing with the cards you have been dealt.
Step 3: Make the decision not to be a pity machine. Realize that nobody is going to feel bad for you if you live in a country like America. If you have a semi-large audience who is understanding of your struggle this may be difficult. For every 5 people who wish you well there are 15 people who wish you would get over yourself. I hate to put it that way but this is a lesson that I learned the hard way. Discussing your personal issues is never a good way to advance yourself. It may get you support from the people who truly care about you and it may even thin out the herd but it will not improve your life in the long run. It is a temporary solution to a much greater problem. Having a supportive network of friends is very important but taking action to improve your life is the only way to get out of your hole.
Step 4: Do things that make you happy. Think about what brings you joy and make a list of these things. Do not look for other people who are living in darkness so you can feel a sense of community. Look for people who are living happy lives and invite them to hang out. Form a new community. Read an uplifting book or listen to an uplifting song. (uplifting does not have to = vapid) Engage in a new hobby. Attend an event that will completely shift your perspective. Try something you have always been curious about. Let yourself go. This is your life and you are free to do whatever you want with it.
Step 5: Have a plan for success. Make sure that everything you do is related to this plan. Live and breathe success. Become an inspiration to other people. Do not think of yourself as a trainwreck. View yourself as someone who is getting back on track. Remember that for every 5 people in your way there are 15 people who will support your new direction. There are nice people everywhere and many of them are successful. Some have also found the light after dwelling in darkness. Some have been even worse off than you have. Consider yourself a successful person who has not yet reached your full potential. Consider this a time of healing and change.