james' party

[acidentalynlove]

tonight was james' pool party. when i went there i saw mike and my heart dropped..and he said hi to me so i thought things were cool. then i went to get a drink with dana and then john came over to me and asked me if i wanted to put my bathing suit on and jump in the pool with him so we could start a trend lol so i said sure so i got changed and we ran holding hands screaming as loud as we could and then we jumped in the pool and everyone started laughing and a few people came in..well lisa did lol and badke attempted to but she couldnt handle the coldness. so everyone had some chicken hero's to eat but i don't like hero's so i didn't eat anything. so me and dana went outside to eat cuz there was no more room inside and then mike chelsea and joe came out and then a few people followed. and mike sat next to me which made me happy. then joe was whispering to mike from across the table and i pretended like i didn't know but it got so annoying so i finally said "you want me to just leave so you could talk" and then they were like no and mike was like no i htink i got it and i was like no its okay and i just walked away. so then i went back inside and we were talking about that guy that sells the workout video named john something who's like 40 and has the perfect body but the weirdest head. and we're talking about the infomercials where they sell that brush that straightens your hair and stuff like that it was quite interesting lol. so then we did some dancing by the pool..well not everyone pretty much just me and dana because i wanted to seem like i was haivng fun without him. so then everyone went into the pool andmike had his fun but i just couldn't have fun i don't know what it was.i mean i did have a lot of fun, i just mean at certain points i just couldn't talk it anymore with everyone talking to mike and no on eowuld tell me what's going on and i was getting really frustrated. but then we played manhunt and stopped after like 3 rounds and just walked aorund and sat on the street and on the sidewalk and chilled. my buddy kerry talked to me a lot :) she understood me while i kept looking at dana and chels talking to mike i wanted to know so bad what was going on. so me and kerry layed down in the middle of the road and said if a car was coming we weren't going to move. but we did lol, but only cuz everyone was screaming that a car was coming. so then the night went on and then kerry said that mike wanted to talk to me but he didn't know if i wanted to talk to him with everyone there or alone or something like that like he didn't know if i wanted to talk to him at the party or another time. and i was like now why wait. so everyone went into the backyard while mike waited in the middle of the street for me. so i walked over to him and he said..i love you so much heather i've missed you like you have no idea will you please get back together with me?...yeah right he didn't say that that's what i was hoping he would say. what he actually said was he has felt different these past few days happy in some ways and others sad and he said that everyone thought it would be better to do it now and i was like well i didn't know you were going to break up with me and he's like i still love you i do and i still want to be your friend but its the fights we got in and everything that were so stupid and he was like i really didn't want to do this here and i was like it doesn't metter where you do it and i just walked away frmo him towards the end of the road and chelsea came running after me and i said i dont want to talk and i walked away from her. i felt bad, but i didnt want to talk to anyone. so i walked to the dead end just thinking the whole time to myself and then i turned around to find dana following me and i leaned up against a tree and she came over to me and hugged me and i said i want him so bad i still love him. so then we just walked back and kerry and lisa and people were telling me i could do a lot better and kerry offered to let me have her boyfriend lol i love you kerry. so then pap luch (chelsea's dad) came and picked me up to take me home. as we were driving i told him he broke up with me he was like what is he stupid and that made me feel good. and chelsea was like dad dan broke up with me and hes like yeah but i didn't know mike was stupid ill tell him right to his face that he's stupid i don't care. lol so he made me feel good. and then he said i looked like some singer cuz my hair was down and i had my hood up and hes trying to figure out the name and hes like chelsea shes the really cute one that i like so we narrowed it down to avril and ashlee lol. and my new nickname that chelsea's dad will be calling me is baby :) lol chelsea doesn't like it but it makes me feel loved. he's a good guy.

"every ending is the start to a new beginning"
...let's hope so.

i don't like to be single...i hate it. the thing i hate most, is i still love him.