"A Taste of Desire" Prologue
Story: A Taste of Desire
Chapter: Prologue: Standing Quiet in the Rain
Character(s)/Pairing: John Bender - John/Claire
Rating: PG-15
Word Count: 548
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Prologue: Standing Quiet in the Rain
I don’t remember when the colors first started to blur together. I don’t remember the exact moment I realized that I would only see life in black and white. It never really mattered to me- I could have had a fucking technicolor rainbow for a world and nothing would have gotten any better.
It was the same old shit day after day. Day... after every damn day. What should it matter to me, anyway?
The best way to put it is like this:
I was in some class- probably English- some year, some day, some period. It seems long ago, but it could have really been just a few weeks for all I was aware of the situation. The teacher- some hag- was droning on about some lame-ass book. All right, not just some lame-ass book; it was Moby Dick, so that lame-ass book. Anyway, the dumb broad was passing out some papers about it, and- contrary to an apparently popular belief- I can read.
So I did.
Hey, I have an image to maintain. If I want to keep hating school, I should at least know what I’m hating, right? And maybe I was half-intrigued by the title.
Well whatever the reason- and I’m not worrying about it now- I read part of the damn papers. It was just the first chapter.
And I realized then that some of these dead writer bastards actually know what the hell they’re talking about.
I knew exactly what that Melville guy meant when whoever-the-hell-he-was said he had a damp, drizzly November in his soul. Yeah, so it’s pretty fucking poetic- sue me, bitches.
I feel like the rain; gray and sopping and loathed by just about everyone. I like the rain.
I’ve always liked the rain.
And I was always fine with my drizzle, with my fucking colorless world. It wasn’t nice, but it was mine. I didn’t need the blues or the greens or the oranges or the sunshine-funshine fucking yellows. I was too caught up in all my storm-clouds- I liked the afternoons when the sky was a wall of grays and blues so blue they were almost purple, right before the first drop fell, when it felt like the world was winding up for the final onslaught.
All that raw power in the wind, then... Well, it made me feel absolutely untouchable, like I was eternal and infinite and above the rest of the human race. Like some power ballad- God, I’m untouchable then, on those beautiful, cold-intensity days.
I had my damn November, all wet and sad and depressing; I had had it for years. I was blind- I saw nothing, except for everything in that damn black and white and gray.
Until one day I got detention.
Nothing new, right?
No, because I waltzed in exactly like I did on every other Saturday I had to drag my ass up there and was more than ready to stand up to Dick like I owned the place. Did I care that there were four others in there with me? No. Did I ever even imagine that I’d suddenly be granted sight? No.
But I was.
And I could see.
And I realized, for the first time in my life, just how much I liked the color red.
~~~
Next
circa 2006
Chapter: Prologue: Standing Quiet in the Rain
Character(s)/Pairing: John Bender - John/Claire
Rating: PG-15
Word Count: 548
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Prologue: Standing Quiet in the Rain
I don’t remember when the colors first started to blur together. I don’t remember the exact moment I realized that I would only see life in black and white. It never really mattered to me- I could have had a fucking technicolor rainbow for a world and nothing would have gotten any better.
It was the same old shit day after day. Day... after every damn day. What should it matter to me, anyway?
The best way to put it is like this:
I was in some class- probably English- some year, some day, some period. It seems long ago, but it could have really been just a few weeks for all I was aware of the situation. The teacher- some hag- was droning on about some lame-ass book. All right, not just some lame-ass book; it was Moby Dick, so that lame-ass book. Anyway, the dumb broad was passing out some papers about it, and- contrary to an apparently popular belief- I can read.
So I did.
Hey, I have an image to maintain. If I want to keep hating school, I should at least know what I’m hating, right? And maybe I was half-intrigued by the title.
Well whatever the reason- and I’m not worrying about it now- I read part of the damn papers. It was just the first chapter.
And I realized then that some of these dead writer bastards actually know what the hell they’re talking about.
I knew exactly what that Melville guy meant when whoever-the-hell-he-was said he had a damp, drizzly November in his soul. Yeah, so it’s pretty fucking poetic- sue me, bitches.
I feel like the rain; gray and sopping and loathed by just about everyone. I like the rain.
I’ve always liked the rain.
And I was always fine with my drizzle, with my fucking colorless world. It wasn’t nice, but it was mine. I didn’t need the blues or the greens or the oranges or the sunshine-funshine fucking yellows. I was too caught up in all my storm-clouds- I liked the afternoons when the sky was a wall of grays and blues so blue they were almost purple, right before the first drop fell, when it felt like the world was winding up for the final onslaught.
All that raw power in the wind, then... Well, it made me feel absolutely untouchable, like I was eternal and infinite and above the rest of the human race. Like some power ballad- God, I’m untouchable then, on those beautiful, cold-intensity days.
I had my damn November, all wet and sad and depressing; I had had it for years. I was blind- I saw nothing, except for everything in that damn black and white and gray.
Until one day I got detention.
Nothing new, right?
No, because I waltzed in exactly like I did on every other Saturday I had to drag my ass up there and was more than ready to stand up to Dick like I owned the place. Did I care that there were four others in there with me? No. Did I ever even imagine that I’d suddenly be granted sight? No.
But I was.
And I could see.
And I realized, for the first time in my life, just how much I liked the color red.
~~~
Next
circa 2006