My brain is stalled
It seems to me more and more lately that I've topped out and reached a plateau in regards to my quest for enlightenment. I'm not sure what I'm going to have to do to jump-start the process again, but I will say that my mind is very quiet of late. The hissing and droning of my innermost thoughts has become slower, losing steam and volume, while simultaneously heightening the perceived importance and volume of my surface-level thoughts, which has posed something of a problem for me.
It's as if I've been reduced to thinking about what should be purely instinctual - food, sex, bodily functions, sleep, competition for resources, etc. I don't know what the fuck is up with this, but it bothers me.
It's not that I lack the facility for expressing my deeper thoughts, it's that I have no deeper thoughts to express right now. I'm thinking about movies and books, what's for dinner and sex... I'm thinking about what time I should go to bed and what time I should leave my house to be at work on time, music and jokes, Hallowe'en and drugs.
Fuck. I don't know. I can't even think right now at all. Screw it.
It's as if I've been reduced to thinking about what should be purely instinctual - food, sex, bodily functions, sleep, competition for resources, etc. I don't know what the fuck is up with this, but it bothers me.
It's not that I lack the facility for expressing my deeper thoughts, it's that I have no deeper thoughts to express right now. I'm thinking about movies and books, what's for dinner and sex... I'm thinking about what time I should go to bed and what time I should leave my house to be at work on time, music and jokes, Hallowe'en and drugs.
Fuck. I don't know. I can't even think right now at all. Screw it.