(no subject)
The thing is, I never have the urge to write when I'm happy. Unless I'm hopelessly, unbelievably happy- which, as is the case with most people, only occurs a handful of times. Besides that, it's upset that urges me to spill out and onto these pseudo-pages. I have a paper-bound journal that sits next to my bed, but that's for the really bad times. In conclusion, I am not a constantly melancholy person. I just write when I am.
I also tend to write around the time I'm having my period, which adds to it. Especially since my periods have gotten worse and worse- and later. I had one period late may, then the next one was late july- skipping an entire month. Now I know when I'm about to have it because I have a panic attack, get in a fight with my mother, and cry randomly throught the day before it comes. I then proceed into phase 2, which consists of extreme muscle pain, cramps, and sensitivity. Luckily it's over fast.
Today's cramps and sensitivity. Laptops are amazing for cramps- it's positioned so that the heat of the laptop rests over my lower abdomen. Like a heat press. What sparked writing here, though was that I suddenly felt what I assume that my cat will feel when I leave for college. I had like a flash where I felt abandoned. So I started sobing, picked up my cat and started rocking her. She was happy for like a minute, then pushed off of me and ran out of my room. It's funny, in a sad way.
I got a going to college present from a neighbor- all from 10 thousand villages. Soap from India, A beautiful painted wood tray from Peru, and an oval stone box from I-forget-where-and-its-too-far-away-to-look-at. I love things.
I also tend to write around the time I'm having my period, which adds to it. Especially since my periods have gotten worse and worse- and later. I had one period late may, then the next one was late july- skipping an entire month. Now I know when I'm about to have it because I have a panic attack, get in a fight with my mother, and cry randomly throught the day before it comes. I then proceed into phase 2, which consists of extreme muscle pain, cramps, and sensitivity. Luckily it's over fast.
Today's cramps and sensitivity. Laptops are amazing for cramps- it's positioned so that the heat of the laptop rests over my lower abdomen. Like a heat press. What sparked writing here, though was that I suddenly felt what I assume that my cat will feel when I leave for college. I had like a flash where I felt abandoned. So I started sobing, picked up my cat and started rocking her. She was happy for like a minute, then pushed off of me and ran out of my room. It's funny, in a sad way.
I got a going to college present from a neighbor- all from 10 thousand villages. Soap from India, A beautiful painted wood tray from Peru, and an oval stone box from I-forget-where-and-its-too-far-away-to-look-at. I love things.