(no subject)
Today feels like one of the days I used to have
I don't feel like talking to anyone
Well there's one person but I can't right now
I'm thinking too much about everything
especially those things that don't matter
or used to but don't anymore
I feel like a bad girlfriend right now
and I really hate feeling like that because
I know how it feels when that happens to me
damnit
I've been going through and looking for some
new music to listen to because I just in that mood
Tonight I'm supposed to go up to the cabin and
hang out with my cousin and a few other people
I used to go up there alot a year ago but it
just doesn't seem the same anymore...but that's the
way things always seem to work
I'm also supposed to go to a grad party today for
one of my friends. I used to be really good friends
with her but again it's just not the same anymore
I feel so seperated from all of them, the people here
I feel like none of them really ever got it
It's what makes him being away so hard because
I don't know what I should be doing and that's
most likely why I feel like this right now.
I was talking with someone this morning about
some stuff and it just started bringing up alot
of things that I've worried about before.
It makes me start thinking about it all over
again and it really sucks because I know how
it feels to be there, but that seems like it was
so long ago and really it wasn't...
So I only have one more year at FLCC and then I'm
transfering to Brockport...or so I thought
My Mom was telling about what someone told her that
she wished she'd done. And going to U of R came up.
So now I'm going to look into that even though it's
so ridiculously expensive and god only knows if I'd
even be smart enough to get in or if it'd even work.
The thing is that I'm going to be going to some college
and I'm not going to know like anyone. I'm gonna have
to start all over again and this time seems like it's
going to be ten times worse since I've gotten so used
to things at school now.
ahh he was right I'm getting stressed...
and even when I think I'm stressed sometimes I think
it's worse than that because it lasts longer
I wish we were back at the cape and it was just the two
of us there together, doing nothing but being together.
I found this one song by Imogen Heap called Speeding Cars.
I guess they use it on the OC or something, what a way
to ruin a great song, but anyways I really like it.
The lyrics are pretty cool too,
Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don’t feed me violins, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee’s never strong enough
I know you think it’s more than just bad luck
There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC's of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeh
Sleeping pills, no sleeping dogs lie never
Far enough away
Glistening in the cold sweat of guilt
I’ve watched you slowly winding down for years
You can’t keep on like this
Now is as bad of time as any
I guess I'm going to give up writing this for right now
and go back to finding music or doing other random
things on the internet.......
I don't feel like talking to anyone
Well there's one person but I can't right now
I'm thinking too much about everything
especially those things that don't matter
or used to but don't anymore
I feel like a bad girlfriend right now
and I really hate feeling like that because
I know how it feels when that happens to me
damnit
I've been going through and looking for some
new music to listen to because I just in that mood
Tonight I'm supposed to go up to the cabin and
hang out with my cousin and a few other people
I used to go up there alot a year ago but it
just doesn't seem the same anymore...but that's the
way things always seem to work
I'm also supposed to go to a grad party today for
one of my friends. I used to be really good friends
with her but again it's just not the same anymore
I feel so seperated from all of them, the people here
I feel like none of them really ever got it
It's what makes him being away so hard because
I don't know what I should be doing and that's
most likely why I feel like this right now.
I was talking with someone this morning about
some stuff and it just started bringing up alot
of things that I've worried about before.
It makes me start thinking about it all over
again and it really sucks because I know how
it feels to be there, but that seems like it was
so long ago and really it wasn't...
So I only have one more year at FLCC and then I'm
transfering to Brockport...or so I thought
My Mom was telling about what someone told her that
she wished she'd done. And going to U of R came up.
So now I'm going to look into that even though it's
so ridiculously expensive and god only knows if I'd
even be smart enough to get in or if it'd even work.
The thing is that I'm going to be going to some college
and I'm not going to know like anyone. I'm gonna have
to start all over again and this time seems like it's
going to be ten times worse since I've gotten so used
to things at school now.
ahh he was right I'm getting stressed...
and even when I think I'm stressed sometimes I think
it's worse than that because it lasts longer
I wish we were back at the cape and it was just the two
of us there together, doing nothing but being together.
I found this one song by Imogen Heap called Speeding Cars.
I guess they use it on the OC or something, what a way
to ruin a great song, but anyways I really like it.
The lyrics are pretty cool too,
Here's the day you hoped would never come
Don’t feed me violins, just run with me
Through rows of speeding cars
The paper cuts, the cheating lovers
The coffee’s never strong enough
I know you think it’s more than just bad luck
There, there, baby
It’s just text book stuff
It’s in the ABC's of growing up
Now, now, darlin’
Oh don’t lose your head
'Cause none of us were angels
And you know I love you, yeh
Sleeping pills, no sleeping dogs lie never
Far enough away
Glistening in the cold sweat of guilt
I’ve watched you slowly winding down for years
You can’t keep on like this
Now is as bad of time as any
I guess I'm going to give up writing this for right now
and go back to finding music or doing other random
things on the internet.......