(no subject)
wow, damn.
I just realized i'm doing really bad in school. It didn't culminate till now when i realized how bad i'm doing in Groundwater Geo. I guess i haven't even had time to catch up and analyze my scholastic situation till now when it kinda smacked me across the face. I usually tell myself and my parents that i'm "doing well" in school because i believe when all is said and done and the grades go in i will have a relatively good gpa. RIgh now I realize that i'm "not doing well" in school, which means thers little chance to even pull my grades up. I've been all about working hard adn getting my grades up but now i don't even care. It's like learned helplessness. It's as if i say what's the use.
I've had these douts during my hard semesters before, and i've written about it, but it's been a depressed kind of irrational rave where i feel real sorry for myself and hope that by writing it things will get better, and they do, simply becuase i was just bullshitting and it wasn't really as bad as i thought it was. This time i'm not really sad or angry about it, ther's simply not enough time during the day for me to do everything, i don't really have time to go to my professors for extended help. When i do have time they're usually not around.
I'm not going to say "i don't knwo what to do" becuase that won't actually help anything, in fact nothing much can help, unless a few hours are intergected into the day and i don't need to sleep more then 3 hours a day.
This doesn't leave much room for anything. I supposed i'll keep on truckin, life goes on. I'll do what i can, study everything to the max, i just need to have the realization that i won't do well in everything.
whut whut whut
I just realized i'm doing really bad in school. It didn't culminate till now when i realized how bad i'm doing in Groundwater Geo. I guess i haven't even had time to catch up and analyze my scholastic situation till now when it kinda smacked me across the face. I usually tell myself and my parents that i'm "doing well" in school because i believe when all is said and done and the grades go in i will have a relatively good gpa. RIgh now I realize that i'm "not doing well" in school, which means thers little chance to even pull my grades up. I've been all about working hard adn getting my grades up but now i don't even care. It's like learned helplessness. It's as if i say what's the use.
I've had these douts during my hard semesters before, and i've written about it, but it's been a depressed kind of irrational rave where i feel real sorry for myself and hope that by writing it things will get better, and they do, simply becuase i was just bullshitting and it wasn't really as bad as i thought it was. This time i'm not really sad or angry about it, ther's simply not enough time during the day for me to do everything, i don't really have time to go to my professors for extended help. When i do have time they're usually not around.
I'm not going to say "i don't knwo what to do" becuase that won't actually help anything, in fact nothing much can help, unless a few hours are intergected into the day and i don't need to sleep more then 3 hours a day.
This doesn't leave much room for anything. I supposed i'll keep on truckin, life goes on. I'll do what i can, study everything to the max, i just need to have the realization that i won't do well in everything.
whut whut whut