Been trying to write this for 3 weeks (Original title: Table Innuedos or: The Universe mocks me)
I wanted to write this last week on Sunday evening (after this happened) or Monday morning when everything was still "fresh" but alas, the week got away from me and the next thing I know I'm going "wait, how is tomorrow Friday?" That was two days ago, it is now Saturday.. are we seeing my problem?
Anyways, I'm sure you all had a good laugh, or at least a head shake at my expense for last weeks antics. The weekend did get better, at least in the sense that there were no more incidents involving undigested food and small children.
On Sunday evening, we went to dinner with the neighbors (Margrit and Günther) they are an older German couple with children around the age of Cat and Christian. They don't have grandchildren of their own yet so Clarissa and Conny have become adopted grandchildren.
EDIT: Ok, that event I was trying to write about was literally three weekends ago, I have had this tab and this exact same window open since then with the hopes that I would get this written down. Anyways, I am at least going to write the main highlights of the evening.
Anyways...
We were all sitting around the table eating dinner, everyone was talking in German and I was listening in. These people have known me for a year and Margrit speaks a little little English, (more like she took 1 class and knows some basics) but Günther doesn't speak any, or at least hasn't let on that he does. They have however known me for a year and have sat through all of my German blunders.
In the past few months I have felt that my German has gotten exponentially better and have been able to converse quite efficient and fluidly with people. Günther owns an agriculture service and I took the opportunity to ask if I could take a ride on one of Günther's tractors since it's one of the "silly" items on my bucket list (the same list that has milk a cow, stand on a frozen lake and cut down own tree).
So, without thinking I blurted out "Günther, kann ich dein Trakor reiten?" (Can I ride in your tractor?)
To which, the entire table blurted out laughing. Not just laughing, but ROFLMAO laughing, side stitching, tears in eyes laughing. I sat there confused, aware I had made an error but not realizing what had exactly happened.
As the laughter started to subside, but not entirely die down. I kept looking at everyone waiting for an explanation. Someone then yelled "fahren!" (which means to drive) "Traktor fahren". Then the error of my ways suddenly clicked-
in German, the verb fahren (to drive) is used for all transport, such as 'you drive in a plane', 'you drive on a bike' etc. the verb reiten is only used in regards to horseback riding...
so, instead of asking to ride in his tractor, I asked Günther if I could ride on HIS tractor- in short a very very obvious sexual innuendo.
I don't think I blush easily since I'm usually fairly tan, but I literally felt my face turn red as the realization kicked in. I was mortified-- laughing and screaming "ewww noo gross!!" at the same time and then proceeded to cover my head with a napkin while everyone continued laughing, if not laughing with greater prowess becuase of my mortified expression.
For the rest of the night everyone kept referring to my comment and the table would break into periods of giggle fits while I fought with my food.
Food, this brings me to the second part of my evening.
We went to a traditional German restaurant, where they had a wide array of fish. I tried Skate*, which is essentially like a type of ray fish (you know sting ray) In a funny way of circumstance, I had only learned about Skate fish the night before in a random skype conversation with my friend from North Carolina.
Back to my story. Different countries and cultures have different rules for table etiquette, I believe that my parents did a good job, if not an excellent job in teaching my brother and I table manners. I think (without meaning to be arrogant) there are few peers that can eat as well as I can with proper utensils. Growing up in a Chilean household in the United States I've learned to make changes as the situations call for, in Chile it is extremely rude to have only one arm on the table, both arms are meant to be visible at all times (and like America, elbows on the table are a no no) yet in America it is standard to have one arm tucked on one's lap when one is eating. In Chilean cultures you cut your food with your knife, in your right hand and then switch to eat with your dominant hand (often times you can sneak a few bites with your left hand if you spear the food instead of scooping it up). In Germany, the two hand rule applies, but it is extremely rude to switch utensils back and forth between hands. The knife is held in the right hand, the fork on the left- always. I have been following the protocol best to my abilities, but my left hand is not as skilled as my right is in scooping food, so I would occasionally switch sides and spear the food with my left had.
At one point, I was having a little bit of trouble with some bones, so I quickly speared a few bits into my mouth when I felt eyes staring at me. Günther then took the fork from my hand and held it in the scooping form, I tried to explain in my broken language that I knew that was German protocol, but I grew up in a Chilean household in America and I was trying to adhere to standards, but I was so flustered that I tripped over my words and ended up sounding completely silly.
I don't know why, but having him point out my flaws in eating was ten times more embarrassing than my vocal blunder regarding the tractor. I know he was trying to be helpful, and Germans are anything but tactful but it made me feel very uncomfortable that he "criticized" my table ettiquete.
It really wasn't a big deal, no one but him said anything, or said anything if they saw something but it just made me feel more uncomfortable than anything else that happened that night, very strange indeed.
Anyways~~~
this past weekend I went away to Berlin to visit my friend Alyson! We went to Tropical Islands near Berlin, which is a giant dome (I have heard it was an old airplane hangar, but have yet to find a source for this information) that houses an indoor tropical island, complete with "sandy beaches" troipcal rainforests, water slides, etc. We stayed for the day even though the place is open year round 24 hours a day. People can either sleep on the beach or rent out tents or cabanas. I meant to work on a video I took yesteryday, but I spent the entire time writing this!
Now its almost 1 am, I have to get up in 6 hours so there is not time for video editing, or posting- sorry!
I hope you can one day find it in your hearts to forgive me, for now I offer you a picture of a marshmellow dog.
Part marshmellow, part dog, all squee :3
(Isn't it soooo cute????)
*I just read the wikipedia page, and it makes me sad to learn that Skate are in danger of being overfished, if I had known that I would not have ordered it D:
Anyways, I'm sure you all had a good laugh, or at least a head shake at my expense for last weeks antics. The weekend did get better, at least in the sense that there were no more incidents involving undigested food and small children.
On Sunday evening, we went to dinner with the neighbors (Margrit and Günther) they are an older German couple with children around the age of Cat and Christian. They don't have grandchildren of their own yet so Clarissa and Conny have become adopted grandchildren.
EDIT: Ok, that event I was trying to write about was literally three weekends ago, I have had this tab and this exact same window open since then with the hopes that I would get this written down. Anyways, I am at least going to write the main highlights of the evening.
Anyways...
We were all sitting around the table eating dinner, everyone was talking in German and I was listening in. These people have known me for a year and Margrit speaks a little little English, (more like she took 1 class and knows some basics) but Günther doesn't speak any, or at least hasn't let on that he does. They have however known me for a year and have sat through all of my German blunders.
In the past few months I have felt that my German has gotten exponentially better and have been able to converse quite efficient and fluidly with people. Günther owns an agriculture service and I took the opportunity to ask if I could take a ride on one of Günther's tractors since it's one of the "silly" items on my bucket list (the same list that has milk a cow, stand on a frozen lake and cut down own tree).
So, without thinking I blurted out "Günther, kann ich dein Trakor reiten?" (Can I ride in your tractor?)
To which, the entire table blurted out laughing. Not just laughing, but ROFLMAO laughing, side stitching, tears in eyes laughing. I sat there confused, aware I had made an error but not realizing what had exactly happened.
As the laughter started to subside, but not entirely die down. I kept looking at everyone waiting for an explanation. Someone then yelled "fahren!" (which means to drive) "Traktor fahren". Then the error of my ways suddenly clicked-
in German, the verb fahren (to drive) is used for all transport, such as 'you drive in a plane', 'you drive on a bike' etc. the verb reiten is only used in regards to horseback riding...
so, instead of asking to ride in his tractor, I asked Günther if I could ride on HIS tractor- in short a very very obvious sexual innuendo.
I don't think I blush easily since I'm usually fairly tan, but I literally felt my face turn red as the realization kicked in. I was mortified-- laughing and screaming "ewww noo gross!!" at the same time and then proceeded to cover my head with a napkin while everyone continued laughing, if not laughing with greater prowess becuase of my mortified expression.
For the rest of the night everyone kept referring to my comment and the table would break into periods of giggle fits while I fought with my food.
Food, this brings me to the second part of my evening.
We went to a traditional German restaurant, where they had a wide array of fish. I tried Skate*, which is essentially like a type of ray fish (you know sting ray) In a funny way of circumstance, I had only learned about Skate fish the night before in a random skype conversation with my friend from North Carolina.
Back to my story. Different countries and cultures have different rules for table etiquette, I believe that my parents did a good job, if not an excellent job in teaching my brother and I table manners. I think (without meaning to be arrogant) there are few peers that can eat as well as I can with proper utensils. Growing up in a Chilean household in the United States I've learned to make changes as the situations call for, in Chile it is extremely rude to have only one arm on the table, both arms are meant to be visible at all times (and like America, elbows on the table are a no no) yet in America it is standard to have one arm tucked on one's lap when one is eating. In Chilean cultures you cut your food with your knife, in your right hand and then switch to eat with your dominant hand (often times you can sneak a few bites with your left hand if you spear the food instead of scooping it up). In Germany, the two hand rule applies, but it is extremely rude to switch utensils back and forth between hands. The knife is held in the right hand, the fork on the left- always. I have been following the protocol best to my abilities, but my left hand is not as skilled as my right is in scooping food, so I would occasionally switch sides and spear the food with my left had.
At one point, I was having a little bit of trouble with some bones, so I quickly speared a few bits into my mouth when I felt eyes staring at me. Günther then took the fork from my hand and held it in the scooping form, I tried to explain in my broken language that I knew that was German protocol, but I grew up in a Chilean household in America and I was trying to adhere to standards, but I was so flustered that I tripped over my words and ended up sounding completely silly.
I don't know why, but having him point out my flaws in eating was ten times more embarrassing than my vocal blunder regarding the tractor. I know he was trying to be helpful, and Germans are anything but tactful but it made me feel very uncomfortable that he "criticized" my table ettiquete.
It really wasn't a big deal, no one but him said anything, or said anything if they saw something but it just made me feel more uncomfortable than anything else that happened that night, very strange indeed.
Anyways~~~
this past weekend I went away to Berlin to visit my friend Alyson! We went to Tropical Islands near Berlin, which is a giant dome (I have heard it was an old airplane hangar, but have yet to find a source for this information) that houses an indoor tropical island, complete with "sandy beaches" troipcal rainforests, water slides, etc. We stayed for the day even though the place is open year round 24 hours a day. People can either sleep on the beach or rent out tents or cabanas. I meant to work on a video I took yesteryday, but I spent the entire time writing this!
Now its almost 1 am, I have to get up in 6 hours so there is not time for video editing, or posting- sorry!
I hope you can one day find it in your hearts to forgive me, for now I offer you a picture of a marshmellow dog.
Part marshmellow, part dog, all squee :3
(Isn't it soooo cute????)
*I just read the wikipedia page, and it makes me sad to learn that Skate are in danger of being overfished, if I had known that I would not have ordered it D: