Fic: Watching The Biggest Loser
Title: Watching The Biggest Loser
Rating: PG
Pairing: Lea/Dianna
Summary: Dianna finally confess her feelings to Lea just before the start of one of their concerts in L.A.
Author's Note: This is my first fanfic ever so be gentle. Also English is my second language so I apologize for any grammatical mistake.
Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction although the characters in this story are based on real people, their actions and the events mentioned are not real.
Lea was sitting on the huge black leather couch of her living room with her eyes looked on the LCD screen in front of her, after the strenuous day she had it was a miracle she was not asleep, but the truth was that she didn't want to sleep, she had too much to think about.
She saw it coming, expected it to happen sooner or later. She tried to act as if she didn't notice anything, but she knew, just as everybody else, that Dianna feel something for her. What she never expected was Dianna to act on her feelings or to confess them to her, and much less did she ever think that she would do it just before the start of their second concert of the night.
Dianna had been jumping all over the place taking pictures of everything in her way, while Lea rested comfortable on one of the mattresses they were going to use later that night while performing Jump. Lea was almost falling asleep when she felt somebody sitting next to her, it was Dianna, of course, camera in hand.
“Di, don't I look horrible”
“Of course not, you look beautiful Lea”
It wasn't the first time she told her that, so Lea just smiled and let her keep taking pictures. After a while Dianna stopped and curled next to the other singer, Lea moved until her head was on Dianna's chest and let the blond cuddle her, just as she had done dozens of times before. When Dianna kissed the top of her head Lea just smiled in the embrace. “I love you”, said Dianna softly. “I love you too Dianna, you are my best friend”, was the reply. Those words had been said multiple times before but this time something in Dianna snapped and she said “That's not what I meant Lea”.
Lea jumped so fast out of the mattress, out of the embrace, that she doesn't even know how she managed not to fall. There was her best friend with tears forming in her eyes while the only thing Lea managed to do was stare at her dumbfounded. “No Di, you don't mean that. You can't”.
“Lea, I'm sorry. I don't expect you to return my feelings. But I just think that you need to know, you are my best friend above all things and I don't want to lie to you”, Dianna moved towards the brunette hesitantly, but Lea jumped again as far away as possible from her. I was an instinctive reaction probably, but you could immediately see the hurt on Dianna's eyes.
“I think I am going to leave you alone now. The show starts in half an hour and you have to get ready... I am really sorry Lea, but I can't help how I feel, and believe me I have tried”.
From that moment on everything was a blur for the shorter singer, she couldn't stop thinking about Dianna. Lea saw Dianna during the songs they performed together and she looked so sad, so defeated that the only thing she wanted to do was hold her and tell her that everything would be alright, that they would be alright.
The truth is that Dianna has been Lea's best friends since the start of the show, and after almost two years working together, they knew each other very well, so even if Lea tried to deny it, in the back of her mind she knew that Dianna didn't look at her the same way she looked at everybody else, it was obvious that Dianna didn't act with her the same way she acted with other people.
Dianna was the sweeter person in the world, and she was always kind with everybody, even with people she barely knew. But with Lea it was a whole other level. Dianna would drive at 2:00 in the morning to her apartment just because Lea called and told her she wanted to see her. She would keep cheese on her refrigerator just in case Lea had a sudden craving while staying over at Dianna's, she would wait for hours for her to finish her takes so they could go and eat dinner together. Lea knew that Dianna did that kind of thing just for her and she loved it.
She loved how Dianna always seemed to know what she needed, how in the morning she would appear on their trailer with a steaming cup of herbal tea, and something to eat because she knew that Lea never had time for breakfast, or how she would look at her just when Lea needed her to, as if she had a sixth sense. She loved how Dianna always let her take her hand or hug her anywhere, anytime. Lea loved that when she decided she wanted to hold hands with Dianna during Somebody to Love the blonde answered that they were supposed to stay in character, but took her hand every time anyway.
But at the same time Lea hated that she had a breakdown in front of everybody while singing Defying Gravity, she hated that when she had stepped out of stage Dianna wasn't waiting for her backstage with a glint of pride in her eyes, she hated that Dianna wasn't there to hug her as she always did after every presentation, she hated that it was her fault. And she decided right there that she would win Dianna back. She still didn't know how to deal with Dianna's confession, but she knew that she couldn't lose her best friend, she loved her too much to let this come between them.
So when the time came to perform Bad Romance Lea was scared and excited at the same time because the choreography would put her right besides Dianna. She was supposed to put her right hand on Dianna's back and her left one on Harri's shoulder, but as soon as she saw herself that close to Dianna she felt an urge to tell her somehow that everything was going to be alright between them, she moved her hand urgently over Dianna's arm until she reached her wrist, she wanted to hold her hand, but Dianna had her hand on her waist and she couldn't reach her. Suddenly she felt Dianna let go of her waist and take her hand, she squeezed it with all her strength and Dianna squeezed back. Lea knew then that Dianna understood what she wanted to tell her, just as she always did.
After that, the concert couldn't finish soon enough for Lea. She wanted to talk with Dianna, with her lady Di, and make sure that everything was alright, so she offered to give her a ride home as a way to catch her alone and in a space where neither of them could evade the conversation. Besides, it was late and they were tired, so the fastest they got this out of the way the better. But it wasn't as easy as it sounds. They spend the ride in complete silence, and it wasn't until they reached the street of Dianna's house that Lea managed to speak.
“Di, I'm really sorry about my reaction early. But you surprised me”
“It's OK”, she said softly without looking at her friend
“No, it's not, you are my best friend, I shouldn't have jumped like that. I don't know what I was thinking”
“Really Lea, it's OK. I don't know how I would have reacted if my best friend told me she is in love with me”
“Di, I... what do you expect from me? I mean why did you tell me?”
“Nothing, I told you I don't expect you to return my feelings I just think you deserve to know and you deserve to decide if you want to be close to someone who has more than friendly feelings for you... And I was tired, tired of pretending I don't love you, I didn't plan to tell you like this, but every time you touched me I felt that I was going to explode if I didn't tell you”
“Oh God Di!! Of course I want to be close to you, it doesn't matter if you have feelings for me, I know you would never hurt me or take advantage of me. You are my best friend and I don't want to lose you”
“You won't, I am always going to be your friend, but right now I need to be away from you for a while”
“What do you mean?”
“I'm sorry Lea, but it's too much. Being close to you, holding your hand, hugging you, cuddling with you, it's too much for me. It hurts, it hurts a lot, to be so close to you. I have been living with this for two years and I can't handle it anymore. I'm sorry”
"No, Di... please, I need you"
"Lea, I am going to be right besides you as always. But I need a little space to be able to move on" she said, with the saddest face Lea had ever seen, "good night Lea" where the whispered words that Dianna say with her lips against Lea's cheek before getting out of the car.
And that's how Lea ended on the couch of her apartment crying alone over The Biggest Loser. But If she was honest with herself that was not the reason she was crying, if she was honest with herself she was crying because she felt as if she had lost Dianna, even if Dianna said she wasn't going to. She needed Dianna, she needed her smile, she needed her unique way of seeing the world, she needed to hold her hand during concerts, she needed Dianna to hold her while she cried even if it was as something as trivial as a TV Show she didn't even like. She didn't want to hurt Dianna, and she understood that if she keep treating her as always, she would indirectly hurt her. But the egoistic part of her brain wanted to keep the things with Dianna as they had always been, the egoistic part of her brain didn't want Dianna to move on, because she wanted to be the center of Dianna's attention.
She had her IPhone on her hand, and tipped a quick tweet "In case you wondering what I'm doing right now I'm sobbing on the couch watching Biggest Loser. Like a dork" and you are not her to hold me was left unsaid. She knew Dianna would understand, they had spent hours watching TV together and Lea would more often that not end up crying, Dianna would tease her for a while and then would smile at her and open her arms for Lea to climb on, then she would process to hold her for hours even when Lea had stopped crying long ago.
30 minutes later Lea heard a soft knock on the door, it was Dianna with box of the veggie pizza they liked so much on her hand. "Hey, I didn't miss the end of The Biggest Loser did I?" she asked with a soft smile on her face, "No, you are right on time". They settled on the couch and in less than five minutes Lea was sobbing again. It wasn't for the show, she was sobbing because she couldn't understand how Dianna could be so selfless as to hurt herself emotionally just to make her happy, and she wondered why she was so lucky as to have such a beautiful, talented and sweet girl like Dianna in love with her.
When Dianna smiled at Lea and opened her arms for her, she couldn't resist any more and asked a little scared "Why are you here? I thought you needed time" Dianna looked down at lea that had surrender herself to the embrace offered by her friend and answered with a little melancholy "when you left I decided that even if being close to you without having you hurts me, there is one thing that hurts even more and that's not being close to you at all"
If someone asked Lea Michele when did she fall in love with Dianna Agron, she wouldn't know what to answer. But if someone asked when did she realize that the urge to touch Dianna at every opportunity she had, the need to be close to her was pure love, she could tell them the exact minute and second. If someone asked she would say that she realized she was in love with her best friend while seeing The Biggest Loser one night after one of the concerts of the Glee Tour.