Lucas couldn’t have told anyone how long he’d sat in Sarah’s flat, knelt down, either staring into space or withdrawn in on himself. Long enough for it to go dark, lights gently twinkling over London.
At some point, he must have dozed off, because the images he was assaulted with were not what he expected
Sarah. The taxi journey to Claridges alone. A hot, urgent kiss a split second after he opened the door as she grabbed his collar, pulling his head down. The first time they made love, their own battle between them, to see who had the upper hand.
---
Mixed up in the dream were two other people - Harry and Oleg. Both fighting for control over Lucas, the outcome unclear. Who would win? Who did Lucas love more?
---
A caress of the cheek, before blossoming pain overtook his system for a split second. Electricity, or a bullet entering his brain, or the bitter pain that follows betrayal? It could have been any and all of them.
---
“Sarah,” Lucas murmured, the gentle tone of a lover. He looked up to see her pointing her gun at him, unflinching.
---
“Be careful who you trust.” Oleg’s words came back to him, and he turned around, realising he was back in his cell in Russia, watching the obvious preparations for another session. A gentle touch, a caress, a murmured word, blurring the lines between love and hate between the two men.
---
Harry. “How do you want me to play it?” Lucas asked the man he most craved approval from - and Harry was the man who would never give it. Lucas had let him down once. He didn’t want to risk it happening again.
---
Lover. Torturer. Father figure. All mixed up in his mind.
“Lucas.”
A voice, calling him. Sarah, walking around him. “This isn’t fair. You deserve much more than this.” Lucas taking a deep breath, remembering the look in her eyes. She was pushed to breaking, he couldn’t do anything or she would end it, right here, right now. He could see it, plain and simple.
“No, it isn’t fair,” he said eventually, seeing her out of the corner of his eye.
“Goodbye, Lucas,” she said.
“Take me with you,” he whispered as he heard the safety being taken off. He closed his eyes, waiting for the momentary pain, then peace.
He came back to awareness to see a gun pointed at him. He froze. Had Sarah finally gotten the balls to come back and finish the job, kill the person who knew it all? He looked up to see Ros watching him. He slowly moved his hands up, showing he was unarmed - his gun was where Sarah had made him drop it.
“She’s gone?” Ros asked, lowering her weapon.
“Yes,” Lucas said in a dull voice.
“Well?”
“She did it. She’s involved, and she’s scared. She’s going to kill anyone who gets in her way.”
“So why didn’t she kill you, Lucas?” Ros’ tone was accusatory. Trust was shattered, once again. Once again he’d have to prove himself. He took a deep breath, standing up, before bending to pick up his gun, tucking it in at his back.
“Love, Ros. Makes fools of us all.”
Lucas North
Spooks
Word Count: 503 (not including dialogue from various episodes)
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