(no subject)
I spent Sunday night curled up on a bean bag chair in Sterling and Matt's living room. Why? Because I was still drunk from going to the Sloop with Sterling, Zack, Hillary, John, and Jeremy. Good beer is the sweet nectar of life. Friends are good too, especially when you realize that they really do care about you, and you care about them. Friendship is a hard thing to define, but I really feel that it has to do with opening up ones self to another, allowing them to share enough of your story, and you of theirs, that a caring connection is made. What implications does that have? It means that we must be vulnerable to judgment, ridicule, and even affection.
No matter how much I pray to God to fix me, it seems like I fall back into the same old pattern. I think I know what it means to die to yourself is to live in Christ. I pray everyday that God release me from the temptations. Bonhoeffer teaches that Christian prayer must focused on God, with Christ as our mediator. When we pray to God in simple language, we release ourselves from the temptation to catch the attention of others or even ourselves, allowing us to pray only to God and align ourselves with his will. So how do we pray in this simple and focused way? With Christ as our mediator, having full reign in our hearts. I think that is exactly where my problem lies. I am praying to myself. I point out my own sins, focusing on them rather than on God. I mediate my own prayer, and in doing so, I answer it. It is my prayer, not Jesus'. I need to change my focus.
No matter how much I pray to God to fix me, it seems like I fall back into the same old pattern. I think I know what it means to die to yourself is to live in Christ. I pray everyday that God release me from the temptations. Bonhoeffer teaches that Christian prayer must focused on God, with Christ as our mediator. When we pray to God in simple language, we release ourselves from the temptation to catch the attention of others or even ourselves, allowing us to pray only to God and align ourselves with his will. So how do we pray in this simple and focused way? With Christ as our mediator, having full reign in our hearts. I think that is exactly where my problem lies. I am praying to myself. I point out my own sins, focusing on them rather than on God. I mediate my own prayer, and in doing so, I answer it. It is my prayer, not Jesus'. I need to change my focus.