no good.

[acety1ene]

well, lately things haven't been going as great as they were. i had a pretty good time these past couple of days. well, friday kait, judi, ryann, and marissa went bowling. i got three strikes in a row. one on the ninth frame, and two on my tenth. haha. we didnt sleep that night. we hit medport and then went back to kaits and watched a movie. judi and ryann crashed. kait was in and out of conciousness. me and marissa stayed up discussing antiquing the other girls. haha. after a while, about 9 am or so, we all went to ihop in cherry hill. that.. was a riot. ryann had to go home right before we left. marissa had shit to do so we went back to kaits. i fell asleep in the car and judi's window apparently wouldnt go back up. we ended up going to a cvs for a roll of tape and a trashbag, where i was out in the rain taping up the window. after that, mike was comming to kaits. i fell asleep on the couch. judi and kait left me at kait's house to sleep while they went to taco bell and brought me back some. so we all sat around eating taco bell and mike came. kait went outside to talk to him (he got a pet rat and his mom wont let him keep it and i want it. but i cant keep it either. :/). kait came back in pissed off, threw her phone and went upstairs and slammed the door. so i went outside, called mike, fixed things, and then we went to see dukes of hazzard. that movie was really good, actually. one of the funniest parts were the outtakes and she shit they fucked up with the car flying around. that was hilarious. i kind of reluctantly went because i was really tired. judi said its because marissa didnt go.. which was a little true. i felt like a dickhead that she pointed it out but.. its true. see, judi really likes me and i dont like her back. i really like another girl, and she doesnt like me. marissa isnt really an item because i dont know her phone number or anything like that. i just dont see myself getting into a relationship soon because i'm trying to play it cautious. i got college comming up in less than a week (!), shit going on with work. stuff happening at home.. oh yeah. fuck i didnt finish my story. so i dropped everyone off at kaits. at this point its like 1:30 sunday morning. i took a nap between then and friday morning. i get pulled over after being tailed like for.. twenty minutes. apparently, i crossed the white line about five times. theres two other cops, and i'm pulled over for a good half hour. literally. so i get the two point ticket.. and he tells me he'd like to help me out. i tried not to laugh. he told me to go to court. i look at the court date. its my birthday. awesome. i didnt have any real plans for my birthday anyway. i'll be 19 years old. i dont have any material desires. i dont have many friends to hang out with me. i specifically dont want a party or a cake. i guess i'll just go to school and court and go to bed. i dont really wanna have a birthday at all.

in other news, i went to the bcc orientation not too long ago. saw a few people i havent seen in a while. salinas was there. i talked to michelle for a while because i havent talked to her since 8th grade. i kept wondering why this one guy who was working there kept saying my name like he knew me. after i while i turned to michelle and said "i dont know why this guy knows me. i dont remember his face" she called me stupid because i was wearing a name tag. i forgot they put that on me.

everything is moving too fast and everything is so uncertain and mixed up. i dont know how to feel, how to think. i dont know who's really my friend. i dont know what to do with myself. i almost blew an entire $900 paycheck. which i need because i'm buying someone something and i need the money for it. oh well. i'll figure shit out.