not too serious.
"Peter, you have GOT to stop making those phone calls to Pensacola. Just ONE of those calls cost me 75 dollars."
"Don't worry, ma, I stopped."
it rained like crazy, all day. i took the opportunity to sit and watch seasons three and four of saved by the bell on DVD. at the end of each episode, i couldn't help but giggle out loud, because i was never like, sick of it, i just wanted to watch more, which i did. 30 episodes in 12 hours, and i was happy for a little while.
and i have to do my mom's online traffic school for her, 3 hours of sitting, waiting, drinking, american analog set like i should be crying myself to sleep. or whatever, aquateen hunger force on DVD while i'm waiting betwen questions, replies, moments in my life, postal service anxieties..
right now, im sitting in nick scarpello's loft, alone, drinking a beer, while gentry, bill, james, victor, jessica and casey sit downstairs watching porky's. i couldn't really get into the movie, and with so much on my mind in the past month, i just kinda exonerated myself from the little social downstairs to ponder some things in my live journal.
in just under 3 weeks i'm heading to gainesville to start college, it's kind of like the beginning of saved by the bell the college years, except i'll actually be the right age for college and not like, 25. everything in my life is going to change, just... instantly, and i'm ready for it, but the anchors i'm carrying are just scraping like fingernails in a threadbare couch cushion. there are so many thing i'm dragging along with me, things i wish i could just shake free, but let's face it, i've been a wreck these past couple weeks, and i've been lonely and under the weather, drinking more than usual and i've gone through 20 to even 30 hour sleep interims, shaking awake still exhausted mentally and emotionally. my struggle may not be quite so clear to my friends or those around me, but i just figured i'd post it here so people understand what's up. in short i'm trying to justify my recent behavior, with whatever and however horrible excuse i can possibly summon, i'm sorry guys.
my therapy has pretty much been, daytime alcoholica, a near infinite abuse of the sea and cake, toroise, american analog set, a lot of reading on animals and sea life at barnes and noble, tons of notes, lots of reading, pop culture study, i bought 50 cent today, can never have enough batteries, fruit flavored everything, keychains, melons, shaved head, complete and utter girl ignorance and denial, charcoal stains on my palms, pockets perpetually piled up with permanent marker, isolation at parties, driving long distances.
i think i need a vacation. braid is on june 14th, so i mean, thats already a given, but i want to take a road trip with dan and keegan either before or just after, june 24th is the day i move to school, so i guess my time is running out. high school didn't just end, it sort of dribbled like the last drops of a glucose IV, leaving my arms deflated and worn out, bruised and swollen with an apathy to even bother being lethargic.
drugs haven't done the trick lately, and carry the zero is starting to feel like an under-dose. right now it's 12:55, and like i said i'm upstairs, alone, in nick's loft, praying for some sort of companionship, and for the fist time in the history of my livejournal i'm being completely straighforward.
something i always saw as a sign of vulnerability.
and the book of revelations was pretty fucked up.
and this is to you-know-who,
do the dead man a favor, and just call me
i know you got the letter, but i doubt you'll ever respond
listen darling, i just need to speak with you
and the letter should have explained exactly why
this is fucked up,
and i'm going to be 5 hours closer to you
in just 2 and a half weeks
i dont know if you'll ever really understand
what's going on inside me
but if you've read my journal at all, it's not secret
look girl, i'm being fully honest and straightforward:
completely open for personal ruin
so please just give me a word.
.peter
equals
blues.
and
for
once
they're
not
uplifting.
LOVE.
peter salinas
2248 country golf drive
wellington, FL
33414
561.248.3266 - always
561.791.8906 - mostly
spatula!
"Don't worry, ma, I stopped."
it rained like crazy, all day. i took the opportunity to sit and watch seasons three and four of saved by the bell on DVD. at the end of each episode, i couldn't help but giggle out loud, because i was never like, sick of it, i just wanted to watch more, which i did. 30 episodes in 12 hours, and i was happy for a little while.
and i have to do my mom's online traffic school for her, 3 hours of sitting, waiting, drinking, american analog set like i should be crying myself to sleep. or whatever, aquateen hunger force on DVD while i'm waiting betwen questions, replies, moments in my life, postal service anxieties..
right now, im sitting in nick scarpello's loft, alone, drinking a beer, while gentry, bill, james, victor, jessica and casey sit downstairs watching porky's. i couldn't really get into the movie, and with so much on my mind in the past month, i just kinda exonerated myself from the little social downstairs to ponder some things in my live journal.
in just under 3 weeks i'm heading to gainesville to start college, it's kind of like the beginning of saved by the bell the college years, except i'll actually be the right age for college and not like, 25. everything in my life is going to change, just... instantly, and i'm ready for it, but the anchors i'm carrying are just scraping like fingernails in a threadbare couch cushion. there are so many thing i'm dragging along with me, things i wish i could just shake free, but let's face it, i've been a wreck these past couple weeks, and i've been lonely and under the weather, drinking more than usual and i've gone through 20 to even 30 hour sleep interims, shaking awake still exhausted mentally and emotionally. my struggle may not be quite so clear to my friends or those around me, but i just figured i'd post it here so people understand what's up. in short i'm trying to justify my recent behavior, with whatever and however horrible excuse i can possibly summon, i'm sorry guys.
my therapy has pretty much been, daytime alcoholica, a near infinite abuse of the sea and cake, toroise, american analog set, a lot of reading on animals and sea life at barnes and noble, tons of notes, lots of reading, pop culture study, i bought 50 cent today, can never have enough batteries, fruit flavored everything, keychains, melons, shaved head, complete and utter girl ignorance and denial, charcoal stains on my palms, pockets perpetually piled up with permanent marker, isolation at parties, driving long distances.
i think i need a vacation. braid is on june 14th, so i mean, thats already a given, but i want to take a road trip with dan and keegan either before or just after, june 24th is the day i move to school, so i guess my time is running out. high school didn't just end, it sort of dribbled like the last drops of a glucose IV, leaving my arms deflated and worn out, bruised and swollen with an apathy to even bother being lethargic.
drugs haven't done the trick lately, and carry the zero is starting to feel like an under-dose. right now it's 12:55, and like i said i'm upstairs, alone, in nick's loft, praying for some sort of companionship, and for the fist time in the history of my livejournal i'm being completely straighforward.
something i always saw as a sign of vulnerability.
and the book of revelations was pretty fucked up.
and this is to you-know-who,
do the dead man a favor, and just call me
i know you got the letter, but i doubt you'll ever respond
listen darling, i just need to speak with you
and the letter should have explained exactly why
this is fucked up,
and i'm going to be 5 hours closer to you
in just 2 and a half weeks
i dont know if you'll ever really understand
what's going on inside me
but if you've read my journal at all, it's not secret
look girl, i'm being fully honest and straightforward:
completely open for personal ruin
so please just give me a word.
.peter
equals
blues.
and
for
once
they're
not
uplifting.
LOVE.
peter salinas
2248 country golf drive
wellington, FL
33414
561.248.3266 - always
561.791.8906 - mostly
spatula!