i was going to update on myspace...but thats too much drama lol
A real update.
These kind of updates makes me think of nessi. ^_^ who I miss alot and I haven't had a chance to see her because I'm stupid and fill up my head with excueses not to because I would hope I have something new to tell her but I dont'....blah.
Soo..
I'm reading because it's productive and I've been meaning to. I never read the last book of the Ayala series and I'm doing so now. <3 I still think that my fave will always be the first and second book but the story itself is great. I want my very own Jondalar and I wouldn't mind the horses and wolf either. ^_^. Read the clan of the cave bears!!! I demand that you all do it!
Never got around to fixing my car, but the money I got became the money I needed to survive. yay me. No stable job ja da. I have had a great oppurtunity to feed my soul. I've managed to travel and do things I had dreamed of and I hope to do a lot more of it.
Drake is great, missy fu is not, I left her and the babies in the hand of my ex. Whoes done a shitty job of taking care of them, some going hungry and now he gives them all to his friends which is fine but of course I don't have a home for missy fu. MY BABY and he dared say something along the lines of letting her out on the street!!! He's a mess and it saddens me, and he does things that would anger me but you can't get angry at someone you know will dispoint you in every possible moment. Whatever.
I've been thinking, I know theres something I'm doing wrong or something I was doing wrong to lose many friends, or was it more like I was letting them go. I just feel like I've really come a long way. I look back at certain people and see where they stand and all I can do is hope that they find happiness and get out there and see that this world dosen't revolve around them. either way, I was always so accepting of them, they couldn' accept me so it's better this way. I don't have time to make everyone happy especially if they my happiness means shit to them.
WAKE UP!
In the love department...well, I had something or atleast tried to have something with erick but you can't force those things. It never really came naturally to me. I met Johann from Rabbit in a Hat, we've hung out like 3 times but if antyhing could be said I felt something natural for him. My bodied sighed my mouth urned. Not to say I feel love like my friend who called and told me that she met someone and fell in love in those 18 hours. Or the comfort I felt with Victor and how I wouldnt think twice to date him.No, it's not love it's nice and real. Best of all I don't have that fear the fear that is rooted deep down in me with everyperson I even consider to like in that way...but he makes me smile and i like people that make me smile.
He gives me real good yummy hugs and makes me feel like a girl. Which is a oddity to me.
um...I took pic of one of his bands and stuff.
family, crazy has usual.
I just want to get a fucking decent job, and save money and get my place.
In two months if I don't get shit striaght here I'm picking up my clothes and moving to colorado just because I know I would get a job there in no time.
...I called out to go toke...so I'm going to cut this short.
I want home. I want a home with drake, my food,my art, my space to expand and a place of love.
I don't need a man but it would be nice for once to have someone come in and make things seem easier or just hold my hand while i take the next step. Someone to hold me to sleep so I feel safe...yea.
oh and great sex wouldn't hurt either.
praise the man or woman who created toys! yay
These kind of updates makes me think of nessi. ^_^ who I miss alot and I haven't had a chance to see her because I'm stupid and fill up my head with excueses not to because I would hope I have something new to tell her but I dont'....blah.
Soo..
I'm reading because it's productive and I've been meaning to. I never read the last book of the Ayala series and I'm doing so now. <3 I still think that my fave will always be the first and second book but the story itself is great. I want my very own Jondalar and I wouldn't mind the horses and wolf either. ^_^. Read the clan of the cave bears!!! I demand that you all do it!
Never got around to fixing my car, but the money I got became the money I needed to survive. yay me. No stable job ja da. I have had a great oppurtunity to feed my soul. I've managed to travel and do things I had dreamed of and I hope to do a lot more of it.
Drake is great, missy fu is not, I left her and the babies in the hand of my ex. Whoes done a shitty job of taking care of them, some going hungry and now he gives them all to his friends which is fine but of course I don't have a home for missy fu. MY BABY and he dared say something along the lines of letting her out on the street!!! He's a mess and it saddens me, and he does things that would anger me but you can't get angry at someone you know will dispoint you in every possible moment. Whatever.
I've been thinking, I know theres something I'm doing wrong or something I was doing wrong to lose many friends, or was it more like I was letting them go. I just feel like I've really come a long way. I look back at certain people and see where they stand and all I can do is hope that they find happiness and get out there and see that this world dosen't revolve around them. either way, I was always so accepting of them, they couldn' accept me so it's better this way. I don't have time to make everyone happy especially if they my happiness means shit to them.
WAKE UP!
In the love department...well, I had something or atleast tried to have something with erick but you can't force those things. It never really came naturally to me. I met Johann from Rabbit in a Hat, we've hung out like 3 times but if antyhing could be said I felt something natural for him. My bodied sighed my mouth urned. Not to say I feel love like my friend who called and told me that she met someone and fell in love in those 18 hours. Or the comfort I felt with Victor and how I wouldnt think twice to date him.No, it's not love it's nice and real. Best of all I don't have that fear the fear that is rooted deep down in me with everyperson I even consider to like in that way...but he makes me smile and i like people that make me smile.
He gives me real good yummy hugs and makes me feel like a girl. Which is a oddity to me.
um...I took pic of one of his bands and stuff.
family, crazy has usual.
I just want to get a fucking decent job, and save money and get my place.
In two months if I don't get shit striaght here I'm picking up my clothes and moving to colorado just because I know I would get a job there in no time.
...I called out to go toke...so I'm going to cut this short.
I want home. I want a home with drake, my food,my art, my space to expand and a place of love.
I don't need a man but it would be nice for once to have someone come in and make things seem easier or just hold my hand while i take the next step. Someone to hold me to sleep so I feel safe...yea.
oh and great sex wouldn't hurt either.
praise the man or woman who created toys! yay