i finally learned what life's all about....
It's funny how a person's life can change drastically in the matter of only a few hours, days, weeks, months... maybe even years.
I never really tried to think about it...
I guess it was just always something that kind of scared me.
Thinking about what the future is going to bring us...
It's hard to think that we may lose the friends that we never thought we'd lose...
Whether it's because life took you your seperate ways or because a tragedy happened.
Either way, the result hurts.
What if you lost someone that you loved so much but never had the chance to tell them.
It's funny...
Because my life...
Will never be the same.
I had to make a decision a couple nights ago...
A decision that wasn't that hard to make...
But it's a decision that I know will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Not now... but eventually.
The worst part about my life at this point...
I guess, if I have to really choose...
It's not having to be in school and dealing with all these people that I hate so much.
Or the fact that I need to buy another horse... and soon balance my love between the new one and the one I've had for over three years... the one that is my best friend and knows me more than anyone else in my life could ever dream of knowing me...
Or that the one year anniversary of the day my cousin was killed, my birthday, is coming up in a little more than a month...
The worst part is the fact that...
The time I really need Josh...
He'll be on the opposite side of the country for work.
I'm okay with the fact that I'll have Marianne and Cori both there by my side when I go...
But I really wanted Josh to be the one that was there...
I guess actions really do have their consequences.
How do you be friends with someone that you're so grossly, completely in love with?
I'll tell you something...
It's not easy... at all...
Especially when he's the one that got you pregnant...
But I guess that...
I've held onto him in my heart for almost a year...
And if I can hold onto him for that long...
I can wait a little longer.
He's going to Washington in about two weeks.
And I got to school today and told Heather about it.
I could feel myself being torn apart...
And I broke down right there.
I've cried almost everyday since I found out I was positive.
And I know I'm not done...
I'm walking around in a daze...
Completely numb... confused... lost... alone... cold.
I love him.
With everything that I have...
I love him more than any 17 year old should even be able to love someone.
I finally learned what life's all about;
Hanging on when your heart's had enough
And giving more when you wanna give up.
I never really tried to think about it...
I guess it was just always something that kind of scared me.
Thinking about what the future is going to bring us...
It's hard to think that we may lose the friends that we never thought we'd lose...
Whether it's because life took you your seperate ways or because a tragedy happened.
Either way, the result hurts.
What if you lost someone that you loved so much but never had the chance to tell them.
It's funny...
Because my life...
Will never be the same.
I had to make a decision a couple nights ago...
A decision that wasn't that hard to make...
But it's a decision that I know will haunt me for the rest of my life.
Not now... but eventually.
The worst part about my life at this point...
I guess, if I have to really choose...
It's not having to be in school and dealing with all these people that I hate so much.
Or the fact that I need to buy another horse... and soon balance my love between the new one and the one I've had for over three years... the one that is my best friend and knows me more than anyone else in my life could ever dream of knowing me...
Or that the one year anniversary of the day my cousin was killed, my birthday, is coming up in a little more than a month...
The worst part is the fact that...
The time I really need Josh...
He'll be on the opposite side of the country for work.
I'm okay with the fact that I'll have Marianne and Cori both there by my side when I go...
But I really wanted Josh to be the one that was there...
I guess actions really do have their consequences.
How do you be friends with someone that you're so grossly, completely in love with?
I'll tell you something...
It's not easy... at all...
Especially when he's the one that got you pregnant...
But I guess that...
I've held onto him in my heart for almost a year...
And if I can hold onto him for that long...
I can wait a little longer.
He's going to Washington in about two weeks.
And I got to school today and told Heather about it.
I could feel myself being torn apart...
And I broke down right there.
I've cried almost everyday since I found out I was positive.
And I know I'm not done...
I'm walking around in a daze...
Completely numb... confused... lost... alone... cold.
I love him.
With everything that I have...
I love him more than any 17 year old should even be able to love someone.
I finally learned what life's all about;
Hanging on when your heart's had enough
And giving more when you wanna give up.