Been a while...
Hey kids,
So it's been quite a while since I've actually bothered to write something down here...something on the order of 3 months? Ah well, it's 5 AM, so I'm not even going to attempt to recap the events of the last 3 months in detail, instead, just a bit of an overview of life in general...
Things haven't really turned out as I would have liked following the fallout of the beginning of the semester, but I suppose things are about as could have been expected. I've more or less lost touch with a lot of my old friends, and really I've had little contact with anyone from the old crew save for hanging out with G, the occasional conversation with Alex and 6 and emails with Jama. Perhaps this is all for the best though, as everyone else seems to have moved on and are happy without me, and I, while I do miss a lot of the old crew, have been pretty happy myself.
As many of you guys know, I've been going to the counseling center for most of this semester. Becky (my psychologist) has really been great and has helped me see a lot of things from a new and different viewpoint, as well as being (for a while at least) the only person I had to talk to about my problems. Without her, I don't think I could have gotten to the point that I am now.
Another thing that's really helped me more than I can say is going on the More to Life retreat here at UD. Obviously I've never been the most religious person by any means, so I was really going out on a limb by choosing this retreat as something I really wanted to do. Desperation does odd things to you. I was just sitting in the counseling center waiting room one day and there was the envelope with applications on the bulletin board. The rest was pretty much history. I was pretty apprehensive when I got to Glen Helen, I was surrounded mostly by strangers and the few people I did recognize weren't people I had ever really hung out with before. But by the end of the weekend I didn't want to leave...The sheer emotion I had experienced over the course of those 3 days was something entirely unlike anything I'd ever felt before. No one was there to judge anyone else, only to support and love one another. The things people were willing to share with complete strangers really amazed me, and at one point I even came to the front to tell my own story. The feelings of unconditional love, support, friendship, and family was just overwhelming. And I met some people there that I just know I'll be lifelong friends with. But I've got to say, the most touching act of the weekend came to me from someone who wasn't even physically there, but if you're reading this, you know who you are, and even though I know I've said it a bunch of times by now, Thank you.
So am I suddenly religious? Short answer is no. Those of you who know me know that I believe in some greater power or ineffable greater good, but that I've never really fallen in with organized religion. Going on retreat didn't really change that, but if reaffirmed my belief that there really is something to this whole life bit. Speaking of religion though, something I thought I'd share. I was sitting and talking with Jason just the other day 1 on 1 and the topic of religion kinda came out of the blue. I expressed my views on the topic, and he told me his, which I found really enlightening. His view is that he believes in God or a greater power, much like I do, but his problem with organized religion, specifically christianity comes from a perceived overemphasis on worship and not enough emphasis on helping people. Specifically, he doesn't like the common belief that going to church on sunday and giving praise but doing nothing else outside of that makes you a good christian and thus a good person. His belief, and what I'm finding myself leaning towards as well, is that if Jesus were alive today, he would tell people that actually getting out there and doing good works and helping people is more important than that. Anyway, was I really going anywhere with that? not particularly, I just thought it was thought provoking.
Oh yes, how could I forget. After going on M2L, I decided to apply for team next semester. I found out recently that my application had been accepted and that I'll be on team for M2L Fall '06 :-D I couldn't be more stoked. I really wanted to be able to join team because the experience of going on retreat really changed my life, and if I can give that same feeling or experience to even just 1 other person, it will all have been worth it. We had our first team meeting last monday night, and it was a lot of fun, a lot of familiar faces, and a few new ones in the mix as well. We did some icebreakers, talked for a while as a group, and broke up into 1 on 1 talks. We've got a really good group this semester...my only major concern is that I hope I'll be able to keep up the time committment, what with taking 18 credits next semester and (possibly) going back to work.
So you're probably sick of hearing about M2L by now (which you should totally go on if you have the chance, by the way). So I'll get on to another topic. I'll be going on the Asia Study Abroad Program this summer, and I couldn't be more excited. My flight takes off for Tokyo on the 9th, so I'm just about only a week out from leaving. I think it will be an absolutely amazing experience. The stories I've heard told by people I know that have gone before are just great and I can't wait to make some of my own. Amusingly enough, I was kind of ticked because I thought I would miss the MtG Coldsnap pre-release since I'll be abroad. But it turns out that I'll be in Bangkok, Thailand during that time, so I'll be able to catch it :-D albeit in Thai, heh that will be an experience.
With the credit from Asia, I should, in theory, be able to graduate in 4.5 years, so only an extra semester to pay for, not terrible. But I've been thinking about that I really want to do after college. For a while it was really clear to me, I want to go into IT consulting, possibly network security of architecture. However, the dawning realization is that in order to hack it as a consultant in the real world, you need to be good at what you do, very good, immediately. And while I have faith in my abilities to be competant at what I'd need to do. I have my doubts about really being able to get it done as a consultant, so I've been giving some serious thought to what I'd like to do post graduation. The fore-runner at the moment came from one of my two moms from M2L, Lindsay Cranfill (Yes, we were an "alternative lifestyle family) who is trying to join the Peace Corps after graduating this year. I never really thought service work would be my thing, but after looking at the Peace Corps website, I found out there are actually opportunities for IT type people to really make a difference in the world (setting up computer learning labs in disadvantaged countries to try to help close the digital divide, teaching technology, etc etc). All Peace Corps assignments as 27 months, so I'd pretty much be leaving the "real world" and putting it on hold for another 2 years after graduation. I took a moment to reflect on the choice I'm making and was kinda shocked, I never thought I'd even be considering something like this...how odd. I went to a Circle of Friends meeting/picnic with Jason, Steve W., and the G a few days ago. I was talking to Steve and Jason about it, and strangely enough, it turns out Steve has been pondering going to the Peace Corps post college as well, and Jason had been considering it previously and was about ready to start his application. It really is strange how similar Jason and I can be at times.
Anyway, it is finals week, so I would be loathe if I didn't at least touch on that. I already took my Linux final, and I'm pretty sure I'm acing that class. My MIS 385 final was optional, so I'm not taking it. I'll be getting a C in that class. There is no final for MIS 380, but I'm pretty sure I'll have a B-/C+ there. MKT and MGT I have monday and tuesday respectively. neither will be easy, but I'm hoping for a B in both classes.
So what's the overall mood of the moment? A little apprehensive because of finals, extremely excited about the trip of Asia, and overall very happy, thanks in no small part to some very special people :) 143! Live the 4th!
Carthago delenda est,
Uy
So it's been quite a while since I've actually bothered to write something down here...something on the order of 3 months? Ah well, it's 5 AM, so I'm not even going to attempt to recap the events of the last 3 months in detail, instead, just a bit of an overview of life in general...
Things haven't really turned out as I would have liked following the fallout of the beginning of the semester, but I suppose things are about as could have been expected. I've more or less lost touch with a lot of my old friends, and really I've had little contact with anyone from the old crew save for hanging out with G, the occasional conversation with Alex and 6 and emails with Jama. Perhaps this is all for the best though, as everyone else seems to have moved on and are happy without me, and I, while I do miss a lot of the old crew, have been pretty happy myself.
As many of you guys know, I've been going to the counseling center for most of this semester. Becky (my psychologist) has really been great and has helped me see a lot of things from a new and different viewpoint, as well as being (for a while at least) the only person I had to talk to about my problems. Without her, I don't think I could have gotten to the point that I am now.
Another thing that's really helped me more than I can say is going on the More to Life retreat here at UD. Obviously I've never been the most religious person by any means, so I was really going out on a limb by choosing this retreat as something I really wanted to do. Desperation does odd things to you. I was just sitting in the counseling center waiting room one day and there was the envelope with applications on the bulletin board. The rest was pretty much history. I was pretty apprehensive when I got to Glen Helen, I was surrounded mostly by strangers and the few people I did recognize weren't people I had ever really hung out with before. But by the end of the weekend I didn't want to leave...The sheer emotion I had experienced over the course of those 3 days was something entirely unlike anything I'd ever felt before. No one was there to judge anyone else, only to support and love one another. The things people were willing to share with complete strangers really amazed me, and at one point I even came to the front to tell my own story. The feelings of unconditional love, support, friendship, and family was just overwhelming. And I met some people there that I just know I'll be lifelong friends with. But I've got to say, the most touching act of the weekend came to me from someone who wasn't even physically there, but if you're reading this, you know who you are, and even though I know I've said it a bunch of times by now, Thank you.
So am I suddenly religious? Short answer is no. Those of you who know me know that I believe in some greater power or ineffable greater good, but that I've never really fallen in with organized religion. Going on retreat didn't really change that, but if reaffirmed my belief that there really is something to this whole life bit. Speaking of religion though, something I thought I'd share. I was sitting and talking with Jason just the other day 1 on 1 and the topic of religion kinda came out of the blue. I expressed my views on the topic, and he told me his, which I found really enlightening. His view is that he believes in God or a greater power, much like I do, but his problem with organized religion, specifically christianity comes from a perceived overemphasis on worship and not enough emphasis on helping people. Specifically, he doesn't like the common belief that going to church on sunday and giving praise but doing nothing else outside of that makes you a good christian and thus a good person. His belief, and what I'm finding myself leaning towards as well, is that if Jesus were alive today, he would tell people that actually getting out there and doing good works and helping people is more important than that. Anyway, was I really going anywhere with that? not particularly, I just thought it was thought provoking.
Oh yes, how could I forget. After going on M2L, I decided to apply for team next semester. I found out recently that my application had been accepted and that I'll be on team for M2L Fall '06 :-D I couldn't be more stoked. I really wanted to be able to join team because the experience of going on retreat really changed my life, and if I can give that same feeling or experience to even just 1 other person, it will all have been worth it. We had our first team meeting last monday night, and it was a lot of fun, a lot of familiar faces, and a few new ones in the mix as well. We did some icebreakers, talked for a while as a group, and broke up into 1 on 1 talks. We've got a really good group this semester...my only major concern is that I hope I'll be able to keep up the time committment, what with taking 18 credits next semester and (possibly) going back to work.
So you're probably sick of hearing about M2L by now (which you should totally go on if you have the chance, by the way). So I'll get on to another topic. I'll be going on the Asia Study Abroad Program this summer, and I couldn't be more excited. My flight takes off for Tokyo on the 9th, so I'm just about only a week out from leaving. I think it will be an absolutely amazing experience. The stories I've heard told by people I know that have gone before are just great and I can't wait to make some of my own. Amusingly enough, I was kind of ticked because I thought I would miss the MtG Coldsnap pre-release since I'll be abroad. But it turns out that I'll be in Bangkok, Thailand during that time, so I'll be able to catch it :-D albeit in Thai, heh that will be an experience.
With the credit from Asia, I should, in theory, be able to graduate in 4.5 years, so only an extra semester to pay for, not terrible. But I've been thinking about that I really want to do after college. For a while it was really clear to me, I want to go into IT consulting, possibly network security of architecture. However, the dawning realization is that in order to hack it as a consultant in the real world, you need to be good at what you do, very good, immediately. And while I have faith in my abilities to be competant at what I'd need to do. I have my doubts about really being able to get it done as a consultant, so I've been giving some serious thought to what I'd like to do post graduation. The fore-runner at the moment came from one of my two moms from M2L, Lindsay Cranfill (Yes, we were an "alternative lifestyle family) who is trying to join the Peace Corps after graduating this year. I never really thought service work would be my thing, but after looking at the Peace Corps website, I found out there are actually opportunities for IT type people to really make a difference in the world (setting up computer learning labs in disadvantaged countries to try to help close the digital divide, teaching technology, etc etc). All Peace Corps assignments as 27 months, so I'd pretty much be leaving the "real world" and putting it on hold for another 2 years after graduation. I took a moment to reflect on the choice I'm making and was kinda shocked, I never thought I'd even be considering something like this...how odd. I went to a Circle of Friends meeting/picnic with Jason, Steve W., and the G a few days ago. I was talking to Steve and Jason about it, and strangely enough, it turns out Steve has been pondering going to the Peace Corps post college as well, and Jason had been considering it previously and was about ready to start his application. It really is strange how similar Jason and I can be at times.
Anyway, it is finals week, so I would be loathe if I didn't at least touch on that. I already took my Linux final, and I'm pretty sure I'm acing that class. My MIS 385 final was optional, so I'm not taking it. I'll be getting a C in that class. There is no final for MIS 380, but I'm pretty sure I'll have a B-/C+ there. MKT and MGT I have monday and tuesday respectively. neither will be easy, but I'm hoping for a B in both classes.
So what's the overall mood of the moment? A little apprehensive because of finals, extremely excited about the trip of Asia, and overall very happy, thanks in no small part to some very special people :) 143! Live the 4th!
Carthago delenda est,
Uy