I haven't updated forever
I went into this summer hoping for endless adventure, and freedom. Now here I am, one week left of summer and I haven't done half the things I planned on doing. I've found this summer to be stale, challenging, frustrating, weird, unsatisfying...and yet entirely necessary.
So much has changed. I've changed. My friendships have changed, my outlook on life has changed. I needed to grow. I needed to face these situations I found myself in. I needed to look at my life and deal with the truth I had supressed about myself and my emotions. I've learned so much that its overwhelmed me.
But even though I gained so much from this, I feel like I've lost a part of me, and a part of you guys, a part of our friendships that meant so much to me. The child. The child in us that allowed us to imagine, to pretend, to play, to laugh, to trust. I've been hurt by friendships and I feel like I can't trust in the same way I could before. And when I don't trust, I put up barriers and protect myself, and when I'm protecting myself I can't be that child anymore. And when I'm not that child I can't love in the same way, and I can't play in the same way, or imagine, or pretend or live in the same way. And then I can't be myself around you.
So your right Brandon, I haven't been myself.
So much has changed. I've changed. My friendships have changed, my outlook on life has changed. I needed to grow. I needed to face these situations I found myself in. I needed to look at my life and deal with the truth I had supressed about myself and my emotions. I've learned so much that its overwhelmed me.
But even though I gained so much from this, I feel like I've lost a part of me, and a part of you guys, a part of our friendships that meant so much to me. The child. The child in us that allowed us to imagine, to pretend, to play, to laugh, to trust. I've been hurt by friendships and I feel like I can't trust in the same way I could before. And when I don't trust, I put up barriers and protect myself, and when I'm protecting myself I can't be that child anymore. And when I'm not that child I can't love in the same way, and I can't play in the same way, or imagine, or pretend or live in the same way. And then I can't be myself around you.
So your right Brandon, I haven't been myself.