The Hidden Threat to America
When the words "America" and "threatened" are uttered, most people conjure images of terrorists, Germans with bizzare facial hair, or the zombied corpse of former confederate president Jefferson Davis. However, even if zombie terrorists led by Hitler attacked, the collateral damage done to our great country would be miniscule in comparison to the destruction that would be caused by THE HIDDEN THREAT TO AMERICA. And what, you might ask, is this hidden threat, and how can I protect myself from it? Herein you shall find the answer.
It is common knowledge that on December 7, 1941, the naval base / amusement park Pearl Harbor was attacked by Japanese kamikaze fighters. However, it is significantly less known that on December 16, 1941, the Japanese launched another attack, one far more sinister, and involving the deadliest weapon known to mankind: ninjas.
America before the Ninja Invasion, c.1937
As you can see, in the picture above, there are no ninjas waiting to feast on the souls of children. Nary a black pajama suit can be seen. This was a time of joy, and peace, and certainly not of decapitation or 'stealth' (a Japanese word meaning decapitation). These times wouldn't last long, though, because the ninja invasion had a plan.
America after the Ninja Invasion, c.1951
Notice anything different? This is the exact same place, only 14 years later. Most cynics would claim that the two pictures are of two completely different biomes, but they have already been brainwased by the Ninja Elite. Before the ninja invasion of 1941, there were no trees in America. Yes, there were shrubs, and bushes, and even the occasional ninja (who had no hiding spot from which to cast magik spells), but not a single tree. However, after the successful attack on Pearl Harbor, the Japanese War Machine (named Jerry) decided to begin phase 2: plant trees in the United States by the billion, and conceal ninjas within.
PART 2 TO COME LATER
It is common knowledge that on December 7, 1941, the naval base / amusement park Pearl Harbor was attacked by Japanese kamikaze fighters. However, it is significantly less known that on December 16, 1941, the Japanese launched another attack, one far more sinister, and involving the deadliest weapon known to mankind: ninjas.
America before the Ninja Invasion, c.1937
As you can see, in the picture above, there are no ninjas waiting to feast on the souls of children. Nary a black pajama suit can be seen. This was a time of joy, and peace, and certainly not of decapitation or 'stealth' (a Japanese word meaning decapitation). These times wouldn't last long, though, because the ninja invasion had a plan.
America after the Ninja Invasion, c.1951
Notice anything different? This is the exact same place, only 14 years later. Most cynics would claim that the two pictures are of two completely different biomes, but they have already been brainwased by the Ninja Elite. Before the ninja invasion of 1941, there were no trees in America. Yes, there were shrubs, and bushes, and even the occasional ninja (who had no hiding spot from which to cast magik spells), but not a single tree. However, after the successful attack on Pearl Harbor, the Japanese War Machine (named Jerry) decided to begin phase 2: plant trees in the United States by the billion, and conceal ninjas within.
PART 2 TO COME LATER