Calm...
It's 2:36 and all is quiet. I think the worst is behind me now. I'm alive after that onslaught of pressure, and mostly unscathed. A victory if I ever saw one. The coming weeks are still going to be tough, it's nowhere but uphill in terms of work. But I feel in control mostly, and I don't have anything that pressing to complain about. And what better way to spend this calm than by reflecting?
I'm around people I enjoy the company of, and I am extremely grateful of that. I wonder sometimes what would have happened if I never met my friends. Would I have made similar friends at wherever I was? Or would they be completely different? Sometimes I...I guess they would be considered daydreams...about what would my life would be like if I didn't have my friends here. I see me, happy, with a faceless group of people who I assume would be my friends at wherever I was. But then I picture my friends here. They're laughing, having fun, and I get this feeling of sadness. That these people would never meet me in life, and we'd all go on our paths, never interwining. Or if we do meet, it's just strangers passing by, maybe taking a look, maybe a thought, but soon it's a forgotten encounter. Or, even worse, I imgaine what it would be like if I never started talking to my friends here. Sure, we might be on the same floor, maybe a class or so. But beyond that, we see each other as another student at the college. And each semester goes on, and I never realized that these people were who I was looking for. It's this kind of thinking that I would wake up in a cold sweat over if I had a dream about this.
I am grateful, though. Those are only thoughts. In reality, I do have my friends. For that I am extrememly grateful.
I'm around people I enjoy the company of, and I am extremely grateful of that. I wonder sometimes what would have happened if I never met my friends. Would I have made similar friends at wherever I was? Or would they be completely different? Sometimes I...I guess they would be considered daydreams...about what would my life would be like if I didn't have my friends here. I see me, happy, with a faceless group of people who I assume would be my friends at wherever I was. But then I picture my friends here. They're laughing, having fun, and I get this feeling of sadness. That these people would never meet me in life, and we'd all go on our paths, never interwining. Or if we do meet, it's just strangers passing by, maybe taking a look, maybe a thought, but soon it's a forgotten encounter. Or, even worse, I imgaine what it would be like if I never started talking to my friends here. Sure, we might be on the same floor, maybe a class or so. But beyond that, we see each other as another student at the college. And each semester goes on, and I never realized that these people were who I was looking for. It's this kind of thinking that I would wake up in a cold sweat over if I had a dream about this.
I am grateful, though. Those are only thoughts. In reality, I do have my friends. For that I am extrememly grateful.