many people seem not to be particularly sensitive to the environment in which they exist; but some of us are very sensitive, indeed. it's important to know what you can expect to leave behind - and what you will bring with you - when you try to change.
i made it a point to study myself, on the trip. i am prone to sudden, and dramatic, shifts in mood. mercurial. though my temperment is not, i think, caused by some chemical imbalance, but rather it is (seems) to be related to exposure to ugliness, violence, waste, etc. american cities are full of the stuff. it is stupidly simply, but i would stand a much better chance of finding some happiness - just leaving. school and my family have connected me to this area, thus far.
i was looking, on the road, for someone, or something, or someplace that felt right. nothing "clicked" in that specal way. but at least i have a better idea of what certain places "feel" like. this was an expidition, searching for a acceptable site to colonize.
well, cheers. here's to that hope of a better place. absent that hope, then what? if life is nothing but suffering, and then death, why not just die, and avoid the suffering? i don't imagine that there are many people who can afford to do what they want, when they want, thinking such things. but those of us who are forced to do what we think is wrong, for people we hate, find such thoughts familiar. and it's too dark.
the old saw "you can be anyone you want to be, and do anything you want to do," is quite damaging. maybe, it's about realistic goals - being honest about what is possible, given the nature of the time and place and person. hmmm. this is turning into the long talk over coffee that i am not having with someone in real life...sorry...
" it's important to know what you can expect to leave behind - and what you will bring with you - when you try to change." never a truer word. the 'escape to the courntry' urge is such a cliche here, but people can often be disappointed, largely, i think because they bring their own discontented mind with them wherever they go!
whenever i go anywhere i imagine myself living there, but there are lots of conditionalities - i could probably be anywhere if i was in a good relationship, but i would still need to make friends. There would have to be appropriate employment, because lack of that can bust up a relationship anyway. if i went on my own there would have to be some kind of skeleton crew of human contact, and not everywhere has sentient thinking people up for grabs (sadly).
self invention is all very well, but we are tied to quite a lot of things. i, for instance, will never now be a child prodigy, but i also have to be realistic about what i can be as well - there are circumstances under which i flourish and those where i seriously droop. and if you are considering major changes it is worth being self aware enough to make ones that at least have a cat's chance of making you happy.
many people seem not to be particularly sensitive to the environment in which they exist; but some of us are very sensitive, indeed. it's important to know what you can expect to leave behind - and what you will bring with you - when you try to change.
i made it a point to study myself, on the trip. i am prone to sudden, and dramatic, shifts in mood. mercurial. though my temperment is not, i think, caused by some chemical imbalance, but rather it is (seems) to be related to exposure to ugliness, violence, waste, etc. american cities are full of the stuff. it is stupidly simply, but i would stand a much better chance of finding some happiness - just leaving. school and my family have connected me to this area, thus far.
i was looking, on the road, for someone, or something, or someplace that felt right. nothing "clicked" in that specal way. but at least i have a better idea of what certain places "feel" like. this was an expidition, searching for a acceptable site to colonize.
well, cheers. here's to that hope of a better place. absent that hope, then what? if life is nothing but suffering, and then death, why not just die, and avoid the suffering? i don't imagine that there are many people who can afford to do what they want, when they want, thinking such things. but those of us who are forced to do what we think is wrong, for people we hate, find such thoughts familiar. and it's too dark.
the old saw "you can be anyone you want to be, and do anything you want to do," is quite damaging. maybe, it's about realistic goals - being honest about what is possible, given the nature of the time and place and person. hmmm. this is turning into the long talk over coffee that i am not having with someone in real life...sorry...
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never a truer word. the 'escape to the courntry' urge is such a cliche here, but people can often be disappointed, largely, i think because they bring their own discontented mind with them wherever they go!
whenever i go anywhere i imagine myself living there, but there are lots of conditionalities - i could probably be anywhere if i was in a good relationship, but i would still need to make friends. There would have to be appropriate employment, because lack of that can bust up a relationship anyway. if i went on my own there would have to be some kind of skeleton crew of human contact, and not everywhere has sentient thinking people up for grabs (sadly).
self invention is all very well, but we are tied to quite a lot of things. i, for instance, will never now be a child prodigy, but i also have to be realistic about what i can be as well - there are circumstances under which i flourish and those where i seriously droop. and if you are considering major changes it is worth being self aware enough to make ones that at least have a cat's chance of making you happy.
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