God, crushes /)_(\ My problem with them? They're never on someone I know very well, or expect to know very well. The odd time they are, thus far, the person hasn't been attracted to women. I don't want my feelings to be a burden for them, so I just work really hard to repress.
And then there's the part where I wasn't sure I was ready to date or otherwise express interest in anyone until just recently. My social phobia contributed to this, and continues to contribute, because, not having dated in high school? I haven't learned any of the social 'rules' for it yet. Thus, the prospect becomes more terrifying. I tell myself I'll try and find a way if I find someone I really am that interested in, but so far it either hasn't happened, or fear has won out. And really, I don't know how I'd be able to tell if I was interested "enough" in someone. (A more detailed post on this whole conversation can be found here.)
And that's not even getting into what happens if they're actually interested in me in return. I honestly have no idea what I'd do then. Probably have a panic attack - or continue to have a panic attack, if I'd said something myself. Honestly, just thinking about it is getting me a little triggered, so I'm probably going to close this comment here-ish @_@
But that's part of my point- it doesn't have to be such a big confusing deal. People making "dating" into this whole big artificial system, when there's not necessarily any more to it than it being a slightly more private and intimate version of "hanging out with friends", if that. And if you're crushing on someone, well, if you don't think you're compatible, then you don't have to pursue it, and shallow crushes tend to fade with time, especially when left alone. Pursuing a crush just means spending more time with someone, getting to know them, etc, like with any close friend.
Of course, it might seem different if you go the whole "dating services" route, but even then, I would assume that just treating someone the way you'd treat any friend or potential friend is undeniably the best place to start. The whole point I've been making, is that people effectively make a mountain out of a molehill and overthink the whole issue and make it worse than it needs to be.
And then there's the part where I wasn't sure I was ready to date or otherwise express interest in anyone until just recently. My social phobia contributed to this, and continues to contribute, because, not having dated in high school? I haven't learned any of the social 'rules' for it yet. Thus, the prospect becomes more terrifying. I tell myself I'll try and find a way if I find someone I really am that interested in, but so far it either hasn't happened, or fear has won out. And really, I don't know how I'd be able to tell if I was interested "enough" in someone. (A more detailed post on this whole conversation can be found here.)
And that's not even getting into what happens if they're actually interested in me in return. I honestly have no idea what I'd do then. Probably have a panic attack - or continue to have a panic attack, if I'd said something myself. Honestly, just thinking about it is getting me a little triggered, so I'm probably going to close this comment here-ish @_@
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Of course, it might seem different if you go the whole "dating services" route, but even then, I would assume that just treating someone the way you'd treat any friend or potential friend is undeniably the best place to start. The whole point I've been making, is that people effectively make a mountain out of a molehill and overthink the whole issue and make it worse than it needs to be.
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