FUCK IT IMMA WRITE A BOOK
I don't know exactly how or what precisely it will be about but I just feel like it would be a really worth while experience to try and organize all these thoughts constantly going on in my head.
It's been a long time since I really sat down and wrote. When I did it, I'd say it was more a form of therapy or just my cathartic way of getting my feelings out when I couldn't control them. I've grown up and now have a much better handle on my emotions (surprise I'm not a angsty teenager anymore, which is where this journal started) But thanks almost completely to my wife I now am such a better more well rounded person then I ever have been. My anger will always be a life long battle but I have a much stronger hold on it now then ever before.
I've been really into self help books and pretty much books in general lately which is new for me (I'm a song and dance man). I have been going through audio books left and right I feel like a dry sponge ready to soak up anything and everything that might interest me in that moment in time.
Moving and meeting new people over the past few years having long conversations with strangers turned friends all these things have really truly opened my mind in so many ways. I started indulging in marijuana since it became legal, I drank a lot for a while but that got old fast so I just have one from time to time now usually in a social setting (since weed is still ostracized in public) But this is a HUGE stress reliever and pain reliever and just helps far better then the liver damaging alcohol which I'm sure I'll get more into that as well.
Getting married to an amazing woman who's incredibly smart beyond any kind of intelligence I've ever really seen in another human being pushes me to try and smarten up so I can have even more late night kitchen convos with her.
I don't know if I want it to be self help book per say but maybe just a guide book? Like I don't know everything but that's kind of what I want to focus on. The fact that I was a bubble boy growing up always kept out of the loop then I spent my teenage years chasing girls and having too many emotions. Then I skated through college (enjoying the few thought provoking classes but not enough to peruse any further, I'm not an over achiever not even close) But I AM a talker and I can talk forever and never run out of things to say. Not that it will all be hard hitting info but I at least try to always make it interesting.
Another thing I've been battling is my selfishness, another thing my wife has helped immensely with turning me into a charitable and selfless person slowly but surely. Again no where near the goal but maybe I'll never be there maybe its an eternal chase but I'm ok with that as long as I keep moving forward never backwards. I realize this self indulgent rant about how EYE'm gonna write a book filled with words by ME and YOU have to read/listen to it makes my previous sentence practically null and void but I promise this isn't really about me (well maybe a little) but more that I want to reach out to all the closed minded people or just ignorant, misguided people and maybe put them on the path I have found (not that I know what this path is but I know it's better then the ones I've been on before).
I am not sure if it will be just a random collection of my thoughts put in some half assed attempt of correlation and order or it will even come to fruition at all but I plan on bringing more discipline into my life (he's a discipline dad) try harder at actually finishing one of the million projects I have started.
I want to get into all the hobbies I've tried and still try and all the things that have helped me in stressful situations maybe get into my family and whatnot but I don't want to write a autobiography. No one cares about my story and that's not pessimistic it's just true just as much as I don't care about someone else's story unless I have some notion of who they are already.
I'm the king of rants and rambles so I will most definitely need to edit and rearrange things which is something I've never really done. Even when I write a song, that's the song, I almost never re write or really change much when it comes to the words, melody and tempo things like that but the words almost never change. It's not that I think I always nail it on the first try but more that I'm lazy and can't think of a better way to say something. This is a rant I won't really mess with since it's just a jumping off point (in what world is an egg a jumping off point!?) There will most certainly be references to my favorite movies and shows so stay tuned for that (maybe I'll do little footnotes to the references and but notes at the bottom).
Making money off this idea is not gonna be part of it. I want to give this away for free or for donation if anything. Since I'm a big fan of audio books I'll likely do that and make it a downloadable file and just put it up on the internet (have you heard of this thing? it's pretty cool)
I want a chapter on jealousy and how that emotion completely eludes me, a chapter on hive mind and following the group leader not thinking for yourself (it might get a little political but not much), a chapter on the power of love and relationships and how you should never cut yourself off from people completely, all through out I'll be talking about life lessons I've learned and kept with me and still struggle to keep implemented in my daily life.
Formatting and punctuation also eludes me but I know how near and dear it is to people so I'll have to work on that (this is gonna be a BITCH to edit).
Anyway the real reason I want to do this is because I'm not a writer, my wife is (sensing a pattern here?) and really I just want her to write her book which will be far superior to whatever I can churn out but maybe if we both focus and put in the effort together helping each other out it's more likely we both can get it done (they BOTH look nice). So I guess, here we go...
It's been a long time since I really sat down and wrote. When I did it, I'd say it was more a form of therapy or just my cathartic way of getting my feelings out when I couldn't control them. I've grown up and now have a much better handle on my emotions (surprise I'm not a angsty teenager anymore, which is where this journal started) But thanks almost completely to my wife I now am such a better more well rounded person then I ever have been. My anger will always be a life long battle but I have a much stronger hold on it now then ever before.
I've been really into self help books and pretty much books in general lately which is new for me (I'm a song and dance man). I have been going through audio books left and right I feel like a dry sponge ready to soak up anything and everything that might interest me in that moment in time.
Moving and meeting new people over the past few years having long conversations with strangers turned friends all these things have really truly opened my mind in so many ways. I started indulging in marijuana since it became legal, I drank a lot for a while but that got old fast so I just have one from time to time now usually in a social setting (since weed is still ostracized in public) But this is a HUGE stress reliever and pain reliever and just helps far better then the liver damaging alcohol which I'm sure I'll get more into that as well.
Getting married to an amazing woman who's incredibly smart beyond any kind of intelligence I've ever really seen in another human being pushes me to try and smarten up so I can have even more late night kitchen convos with her.
I don't know if I want it to be self help book per say but maybe just a guide book? Like I don't know everything but that's kind of what I want to focus on. The fact that I was a bubble boy growing up always kept out of the loop then I spent my teenage years chasing girls and having too many emotions. Then I skated through college (enjoying the few thought provoking classes but not enough to peruse any further, I'm not an over achiever not even close) But I AM a talker and I can talk forever and never run out of things to say. Not that it will all be hard hitting info but I at least try to always make it interesting.
Another thing I've been battling is my selfishness, another thing my wife has helped immensely with turning me into a charitable and selfless person slowly but surely. Again no where near the goal but maybe I'll never be there maybe its an eternal chase but I'm ok with that as long as I keep moving forward never backwards. I realize this self indulgent rant about how EYE'm gonna write a book filled with words by ME and YOU have to read/listen to it makes my previous sentence practically null and void but I promise this isn't really about me (well maybe a little) but more that I want to reach out to all the closed minded people or just ignorant, misguided people and maybe put them on the path I have found (not that I know what this path is but I know it's better then the ones I've been on before).
I am not sure if it will be just a random collection of my thoughts put in some half assed attempt of correlation and order or it will even come to fruition at all but I plan on bringing more discipline into my life (he's a discipline dad) try harder at actually finishing one of the million projects I have started.
I want to get into all the hobbies I've tried and still try and all the things that have helped me in stressful situations maybe get into my family and whatnot but I don't want to write a autobiography. No one cares about my story and that's not pessimistic it's just true just as much as I don't care about someone else's story unless I have some notion of who they are already.
I'm the king of rants and rambles so I will most definitely need to edit and rearrange things which is something I've never really done. Even when I write a song, that's the song, I almost never re write or really change much when it comes to the words, melody and tempo things like that but the words almost never change. It's not that I think I always nail it on the first try but more that I'm lazy and can't think of a better way to say something. This is a rant I won't really mess with since it's just a jumping off point (in what world is an egg a jumping off point!?) There will most certainly be references to my favorite movies and shows so stay tuned for that (maybe I'll do little footnotes to the references and but notes at the bottom).
Making money off this idea is not gonna be part of it. I want to give this away for free or for donation if anything. Since I'm a big fan of audio books I'll likely do that and make it a downloadable file and just put it up on the internet (have you heard of this thing? it's pretty cool)
I want a chapter on jealousy and how that emotion completely eludes me, a chapter on hive mind and following the group leader not thinking for yourself (it might get a little political but not much), a chapter on the power of love and relationships and how you should never cut yourself off from people completely, all through out I'll be talking about life lessons I've learned and kept with me and still struggle to keep implemented in my daily life.
Formatting and punctuation also eludes me but I know how near and dear it is to people so I'll have to work on that (this is gonna be a BITCH to edit).
Anyway the real reason I want to do this is because I'm not a writer, my wife is (sensing a pattern here?) and really I just want her to write her book which will be far superior to whatever I can churn out but maybe if we both focus and put in the effort together helping each other out it's more likely we both can get it done (they BOTH look nice). So I guess, here we go...