My terrible, awful, no-good day
I think that's a book title, but I thought of it this morning and it fit. Angry ranting ahead: Read on at your own .
So last night I went out with my friends to Clyde's and got freaking wasted. I think I decided to get so ridiculously drunk because of all the drama with Mike, which was a bad solution. I told my friend John about the problems I've been having with him this week and he was good about chiming in with his two cents, worth rather a lot since he lives with the boy. Anyway the outcome of this conversation was that I should tell him that I need to talk to him and that he would then find time to talk to me (according to John). Since I almost never see him anymore, I let my friends talk me into crashing in his bed that night so that he would wake me up when he got home and I could tell him then.
This morning I woke up (hung over like all hell) alone. He wasn't there. I figured that of course the one night I needed to talk to him, he wouldn't come home. It was time to move my car so I walked into the living room, where I discovered Mike sleeping on a couch. That sent me over the edge. I mean, why would he sleep on a couch instead of just sleeping with me, like he normally does? It was of a piece with the rest of the week though, since he hasn't been waking me up. But it made me extremely upset.
I called my friend Kristie, told her what happened, and explained that I was upset because how could nothing be wrong if he wouldn't sleep with me? She told me I should wake him up and make him talk to me. Well I decided that I would have to do that, knowing full well that it was probably a bad idea, but also knowing that I wouldn't be happy unless I did it. So I waited until 1pm and then I woke him up, or attempted to. He pulled the blanket over his face and grunted at me. I asked him what was going on with us. He grunted again. I said that I needed an answer and he finally said, "I don't know." I told him that wasn't good enough. He didn't respond. So by this point I was practically in tears, and I left.
I later sent him a text message (since I realized that he may not have even fully been awake or remember the conversation later) that said: You've really freaked me out this week. You said you wanted a relationship with me but lately it doesn't seem that way. If you care at all you need to tell me because otherwise I'm out.
I spent most of the day with Kristie, and a lot of time on the phone with a few friends, crying. I am still upset about it now, but I don't think I can cry anymore today. I'm angry because he was the one who started things back up by telling me he wanted a relationship with me and now I'm the one who gets hurt again. I talked to John about it briefly and he told me that Mike came in around 7am and said to him that I was there so he was going to sleep on the couch. And apparently when he got up in the afternoon he was being more open and talking to people (not about me, but just in general). I don't know what that means. Is he happier because I told him it was over and now he's talkative again? Is he thinking at all about what I said? I don't think I'll find out. John offered to ask him for me, but I told him I was tired of getting all of my information about Mike from the housemates. If he has anything to say, he should tell me.
And he'd better do it soon, because I'm not waiting around for another three weeks while he makes up his mind.
So last night I went out with my friends to Clyde's and got freaking wasted. I think I decided to get so ridiculously drunk because of all the drama with Mike, which was a bad solution. I told my friend John about the problems I've been having with him this week and he was good about chiming in with his two cents, worth rather a lot since he lives with the boy. Anyway the outcome of this conversation was that I should tell him that I need to talk to him and that he would then find time to talk to me (according to John). Since I almost never see him anymore, I let my friends talk me into crashing in his bed that night so that he would wake me up when he got home and I could tell him then.
This morning I woke up (hung over like all hell) alone. He wasn't there. I figured that of course the one night I needed to talk to him, he wouldn't come home. It was time to move my car so I walked into the living room, where I discovered Mike sleeping on a couch. That sent me over the edge. I mean, why would he sleep on a couch instead of just sleeping with me, like he normally does? It was of a piece with the rest of the week though, since he hasn't been waking me up. But it made me extremely upset.
I called my friend Kristie, told her what happened, and explained that I was upset because how could nothing be wrong if he wouldn't sleep with me? She told me I should wake him up and make him talk to me. Well I decided that I would have to do that, knowing full well that it was probably a bad idea, but also knowing that I wouldn't be happy unless I did it. So I waited until 1pm and then I woke him up, or attempted to. He pulled the blanket over his face and grunted at me. I asked him what was going on with us. He grunted again. I said that I needed an answer and he finally said, "I don't know." I told him that wasn't good enough. He didn't respond. So by this point I was practically in tears, and I left.
I later sent him a text message (since I realized that he may not have even fully been awake or remember the conversation later) that said: You've really freaked me out this week. You said you wanted a relationship with me but lately it doesn't seem that way. If you care at all you need to tell me because otherwise I'm out.
I spent most of the day with Kristie, and a lot of time on the phone with a few friends, crying. I am still upset about it now, but I don't think I can cry anymore today. I'm angry because he was the one who started things back up by telling me he wanted a relationship with me and now I'm the one who gets hurt again. I talked to John about it briefly and he told me that Mike came in around 7am and said to him that I was there so he was going to sleep on the couch. And apparently when he got up in the afternoon he was being more open and talking to people (not about me, but just in general). I don't know what that means. Is he happier because I told him it was over and now he's talkative again? Is he thinking at all about what I said? I don't think I'll find out. John offered to ask him for me, but I told him I was tired of getting all of my information about Mike from the housemates. If he has anything to say, he should tell me.
And he'd better do it soon, because I'm not waiting around for another three weeks while he makes up his mind.