I'm in a place...
So... I loved her forever. I've done it since I've know'd (I've always wanted a reason to say "know'd" in a sentence... blame Dylan) her. An' it never ends. The problem bein', she's away. So, I don't bother. An' I try to do... whatever it is I do from here, without caring about anyone else.
Of course it make sense to me, that in my efforts here, I would stumble across someone I actually kinda dig. An' in my diggin'... Well, obviously that went fabulously, because I'm so ridiculously happy, now (insert dripping sarcasm). So in a recent outing, with girl I somewhat dig, I caught myself... in a moment, that I give said girl enough credit to say 'she ignored by choice'... calling her by another name (An' no, get yer minds outt'a the gutter.. wasn't *that* kind of moment, thanks). But still, I caught it... May have been retrospect, but if I did, so did she. An'... it's a name she knows. One that's been in my mind, an' heart for a long time. An' it's one, that I've been... honest enough, with anyone I've been around to mention up front. Which... y'know... sucks a whole bunch. 'Cus closest I've had to a damn thing I've given a fuck about since. I've been effectively unable to get close to anyone for a long time. An' it comes time, when I look like I may be able to... an' there I go. I may as well have told her outright I'm stuck on someone else, an' anything, we may have t'gether... well, it's all fun an' good now... but a word from someone else, an' all you'll get to see would be a dusty outline of me, in poorly drawn clouds.
Which sadly *has* been the way of things. An' it's happened a couple of times over now. Maybe not in quite as an extreme way, but, y'know... s'how it is.
An' y'know what..? I may try this another night. But I'm done right now. So 'til next time faithful reader...
Be safe. Love where applicable.
Of course it make sense to me, that in my efforts here, I would stumble across someone I actually kinda dig. An' in my diggin'... Well, obviously that went fabulously, because I'm so ridiculously happy, now (insert dripping sarcasm). So in a recent outing, with girl I somewhat dig, I caught myself... in a moment, that I give said girl enough credit to say 'she ignored by choice'... calling her by another name (An' no, get yer minds outt'a the gutter.. wasn't *that* kind of moment, thanks). But still, I caught it... May have been retrospect, but if I did, so did she. An'... it's a name she knows. One that's been in my mind, an' heart for a long time. An' it's one, that I've been... honest enough, with anyone I've been around to mention up front. Which... y'know... sucks a whole bunch. 'Cus closest I've had to a damn thing I've given a fuck about since. I've been effectively unable to get close to anyone for a long time. An' it comes time, when I look like I may be able to... an' there I go. I may as well have told her outright I'm stuck on someone else, an' anything, we may have t'gether... well, it's all fun an' good now... but a word from someone else, an' all you'll get to see would be a dusty outline of me, in poorly drawn clouds.
Which sadly *has* been the way of things. An' it's happened a couple of times over now. Maybe not in quite as an extreme way, but, y'know... s'how it is.
An' y'know what..? I may try this another night. But I'm done right now. So 'til next time faithful reader...
Be safe. Love where applicable.