High School
You know what? Senior year of high school sucks. I know lots of people think that it's the best thing that's ever happened to them (at least in the past 12 years), and that it's so much fun. Maybe those people are just too... I don't know. Too wrapped up in getting out of school, and going on to college. Maybe that's why they like it so much. But for me, the people who are like that are the reason that I can't stand my senior year. Everyone around me has changed, either a little bit or by a very large margin just over winter break. Maybe it's the mentality that we only have one more semester to go. I don't know, and I don't care. Damn it all!!! Here's how all of my senior friends are thinking right now: "Oh my god, we only have five months left. That's all. That's not a short enough amount of time. I can't wait to get to college. In fact, I'm so done with high school that I'm not going to be cheerful about anything that is involved with my high school experience anymore. I'm going to just mope around and be pissy about absolutely everything." And I will admit, I am guilty of this sometimes... actually, more the part about not being able to wait for college, and not caring about school anymore. Mostly I just don't want to do the work anymore, because I'm lazy, and because most of the stuff that they cram down our throats at school have absolutely nothing to do with what I am going to do in college. Yeah, that's right bitches, I've got my mind set on a major. The funny thing to me is that so many seniors act like it would be a bad thing to go into college as a freshman with a plan. Sure, I understand that you can change your mind as you encounter new things (that's what my brother did, and he's perfectly happy.). But, don't just go into college expecting to coast for a year or two and then make your decisions as to what you want to do with your life. Do you understand that every second you are away at college you are spending money... lots of money??? I'm sorry, but lots of people don't have the kind of lifestyle where we can go and waste $10,000 just to go party for a year at college. What the fuck??? If you're going to do that, then fucking take a year off of school, instead of wasting your parents money. Stupid idiots.
Anyway, back to the whole high school thing. I have loved high school. Okay, I take that back. I haven't exactly loved high school, because there have of course been some things that have been not so pleasant, and that have just pissed me off to no end, but overall, high school hasn't been that bad. I feel like I've finally decided (for the most part) who I am as a person, after floundering around about it for a long time. Those of you who aren't seniors, enjoy what time you have left in high school. This will probably be the last time in your life that you can screw up and make poor decisions and get a feel for who you are and then change it the very next day without any consequences. Things change dramatically when you go to college, and it's a little bit more difficult to just all of a sudden change who you are... and people are a lot less tolerant of stupid shit the older you get. But yeah... high school has been quite an experience for me, and I wouldn't trade what I've done and learned in high school for anything.
I've learned how the real world works, that you can't be this stupid little ignoramus and expect to actually get by in life. I've learned how to stand up to people, both in defense of my friends, and in defense of myself and my beliefs. I've known what it is to want to kill yourself each and every day, and I learned how to bounce back from that. I've learned to not care what anyone thinks, and to do whatever the hell I want to do, because life is fucking short, and it should be lived to the fullest. I've learned that sure, I'm fat, but I'm beautiful, too, damnit! I learned that there are many different kinds of beauty, and all should be appreciated. I learned that it's okay to go to others when you need help. I've learned that your real friends are the ones you can bitch at and to, and they will always forgive you; that you can go to them and simply ask for a hug or someone to talk to, and they will listen to you no matter what; if you ever need to just leave your house, for whatever reason, your true friends will offer for you to live with them until things work out. I've learned who my true friends are. I learned what it was like to be kicked out of your house (a grand total of eleven times during the past two years, thank you very much). I discovered what I want to do with the rest of my life. I saw my life's dream come true, twice. I realized (sure, it took me a while, but I finally got it) that it really is possible to live without a significant other. I've learned what it's like to love (and I know it's annoying when high schoolers talk about love, but I'm serious), and to have your heart truly broken. I've learned that I am a callous, violent bitch who can occasionally be really nice and loving. I've learned that the easiest thing I can do in the world is to make people laugh... and that people like to laugh. I've discovered that I can learn how to do things that I never previously thought I could do.
I guess what I want to say is, suck it up. High school really hasn't been that bad. You've survived, haven't you? (If you didn't survive, and a ghost is currently reading this, I sincerely apologize for assuming that you survived this, and I want to shake your hand, because ghosts are freaking cool). And if you're not a senior, don't worry. The end of your high school torture will come soon enough, and then you will get your freedom. But enjoy it while you can. You will learn a lot about yourself along the way.
Anyway, back to the whole high school thing. I have loved high school. Okay, I take that back. I haven't exactly loved high school, because there have of course been some things that have been not so pleasant, and that have just pissed me off to no end, but overall, high school hasn't been that bad. I feel like I've finally decided (for the most part) who I am as a person, after floundering around about it for a long time. Those of you who aren't seniors, enjoy what time you have left in high school. This will probably be the last time in your life that you can screw up and make poor decisions and get a feel for who you are and then change it the very next day without any consequences. Things change dramatically when you go to college, and it's a little bit more difficult to just all of a sudden change who you are... and people are a lot less tolerant of stupid shit the older you get. But yeah... high school has been quite an experience for me, and I wouldn't trade what I've done and learned in high school for anything.
I've learned how the real world works, that you can't be this stupid little ignoramus and expect to actually get by in life. I've learned how to stand up to people, both in defense of my friends, and in defense of myself and my beliefs. I've known what it is to want to kill yourself each and every day, and I learned how to bounce back from that. I've learned to not care what anyone thinks, and to do whatever the hell I want to do, because life is fucking short, and it should be lived to the fullest. I've learned that sure, I'm fat, but I'm beautiful, too, damnit! I learned that there are many different kinds of beauty, and all should be appreciated. I learned that it's okay to go to others when you need help. I've learned that your real friends are the ones you can bitch at and to, and they will always forgive you; that you can go to them and simply ask for a hug or someone to talk to, and they will listen to you no matter what; if you ever need to just leave your house, for whatever reason, your true friends will offer for you to live with them until things work out. I've learned who my true friends are. I learned what it was like to be kicked out of your house (a grand total of eleven times during the past two years, thank you very much). I discovered what I want to do with the rest of my life. I saw my life's dream come true, twice. I realized (sure, it took me a while, but I finally got it) that it really is possible to live without a significant other. I've learned what it's like to love (and I know it's annoying when high schoolers talk about love, but I'm serious), and to have your heart truly broken. I've learned that I am a callous, violent bitch who can occasionally be really nice and loving. I've learned that the easiest thing I can do in the world is to make people laugh... and that people like to laugh. I've discovered that I can learn how to do things that I never previously thought I could do.
I guess what I want to say is, suck it up. High school really hasn't been that bad. You've survived, haven't you? (If you didn't survive, and a ghost is currently reading this, I sincerely apologize for assuming that you survived this, and I want to shake your hand, because ghosts are freaking cool). And if you're not a senior, don't worry. The end of your high school torture will come soon enough, and then you will get your freedom. But enjoy it while you can. You will learn a lot about yourself along the way.