Fanfic - Five Times (Improv-a-Ganza)

[accordingtomel]

Title: Five Times Jeff Doesn’t say “I Love You” to Chip (And One Time he Does)
Author: Mel (accordingtomel)
Summary: See the title.
Characters/Pairings: Jeff Davis/Chip Esten
Rating: PG-13 (language)
Word Count: 8,824
Disclaimer: All fake. Nothing is true. No offense is meant to anyone in the fic or anyone reading. I’m just having some fun with them.
Author’s

Comments

[clayangel]

I love so much that you have them watching the Fast and Furious movies. ^_^ When the fifth one came out, my friend and I decided to watch them all for shits and giggles, assuming they would be one pile of crap after the next, and for the first couple of movies, that's true, but then Justin Lin takes over as director and really revitalizes the series, and I just fell in love with it, and I'll be so upset if they don't make a sixth movie. ^_^ ...so yeah, barely anything to do with the story, but that pleased me nonetheless.

To get back on topic, however, I really love the way you're writing both Jeff and Chip. Jeff, in as far as I can tell, is such a layered person, and I think you've really captured that, between his caring attitude surrounding Chip to his frat boy antics, to his anal retentiveness about his kitchen to the calculating decisiveness of his actions at the end, you really bring him to life in a way that I rarely see done.

The same goes for Chip. I adore Chip, and you just hit the nail on the head with all the reasons why. I love that you balance out the eager puppy in the beginning there with the somber, gentle attitude of the last scene. His consistent good nature and maturity are both prevalent throughout, and there's even a hint of his keen mind there in the scene where they're talking moving out, and that's definitely something that I see a lot of fanfic writers take for granted, so it was lovely to see the way you handled his character.

Also, yay Dan! I love Dan. ^_^ Do you watch Community? I watched the credits for that back when I first started watching it, saw Dan Harmon, and I'm all wait...Dan Harmon? Like, Lazor Fart Dan Harmon? ^_^ He's fantastic. It's nice to see someone else acknowledging his friendship with Jeff; I feel like no one else knows who this guy is and don't care enough to find out, so he doesn't get enough face time in fics as he should. So yes, kudos!

However, in the same scene you have Jeff eating a hamburger, but Jeff is a vegetarian. Not a big deal, but just so you know. ^_^

I like the way you're handling the divorce, and the fact that we've got a decent length of time where they're just separated before that. There are a lot of little bits, that last included, that really give this piece an intelligence you don't see a lot in fic (And I'm even including my own writing in that. ^_^) so it was just and refreshing.

And oh, the penultimate scene! That was gorgeous and intense, and what a tease for cutting it off right there! ^_^ But the follow up is just lovely. Just the kind of thing I've been hoping to see done with these two that just really hasn't happened yet in as far as fanfic goes.

The whole thing was just perfect for them, and I adore you for writing this. ^_^

[accordingtomel]

Wow! This review is, like, possibly the most detailed and amazing review I've ever received. Thank you SO MUCH! I've no doubt my response will probably be just as long, LOL ;)

Glad you liked the fact that they were watching the Fast and the Furious movies. Truthfully, I've only seen part of the first one, but it just seemed like something Jeff would like to watch, haha! I'm sure I'll watch them all at some point just for the hell of it too, though!

It is such an immense relief/compliment to me that you felt I was able to capture both of their personalities in a realistic way. Proper characterization is actually the thing I strive for most when I write, so it's such a relief when others feel I've been able to do it. I do think both Jeff and Chip are complex and multi-layered people, so I really wanted to capture that, especially with Jeff. He's a lot of fun to write, actually, filled with these seeming contradictions that still work together somehow :)

I haven't actually seen Community, but my friend has been trying to get me to watch it, so it's next on my list, LOL! ;) I really wanted Jeff to have a friend and outside perspective in this fic, so Dan seemed like the logical choice. I think their friendship is adorable! I don't know TONS about Dan, but I researched what I could, I've seen videos of him and Jeff together, seen how they interact on twitter, and talked with people who know a bit more about Dan than I do. So I'm glad his presence here worked for you! I'll probably continue to use him in my fics in the future :)

OMG I had NO idea Jeff was a vegetarian, LOL! Thanks for the heads up. I went back and edited the fic, actually, so he's eating veggie burgers instead, so thank you for enlightening me!

I'm so glad you liked how I handled the divorce. I mean, I hate to do it at all, but I have to work with what's there, and I'd much prefer that to Chip having some sordid affair with Jeff. Never mind that I don't think he'd ever do that, anyway. But wow, thank you SO MUCH for calling this intelligent. I just can't thank you enough for that! :)

You know, I actually debated long and hard over whether or not to include more detail on their first kiss, because I wanted to. But then I just felt like it worked better to leave it as it was. Plus, I knew I was going to include kissing and cuddling and all that in the final scene, so I figured it would probably work out in the end, haha ;). But thank you for saying you enjoyed that scene, and that it played out all right.

THANK YOU so very much for leaving such an amazing review for me! I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it ♥