(no subject)
Dear Everyone,
Every so often I have a moment of enlightenment where all the world seems in love, and I with it. This is one of those rare moments.
I don't know what brought it about, whether the unstoppable optimism of Bridget Jones put me in a good mood, or if God just decided to let me smile for a little bit. I don't know or care about the origins of my mien because at this second, for once in a string of very bad days and constant internal sarcasm, I feel okay.
Okay is an understatement. I'm okay everyday I'm alive and living in a 1st world country. I feel at peace. I spend a lot of my time disgusted by humanity and all it's flaws, but for some reason now, the normally angsty events of today don't seem to matter.
Because it's fine. I'm fine. I have a few friends who would drop everything if I told them it was an emergency. I have ideas for the first time in forever. I have the motivation to make those ideas a reality. In about twelve hours, I'm going to gorge on Papa John's and watch the Ancient Romes have orgies with British accents. I will wear a nice dress. I may see a boy. I may not. And if I do, I will smile and remember as long as he's happy, I'm happy. Because everything is quite wonderful.
I think I have a sinus thing (actually, the normal part of my mind is convinced it's deadly), but I won't worry. I won't let my hypochrondria freak me out or worry this is the last thing I'll write. God will take care of me. I will be happy that I have so many lovely things, so much more than I deserve.
I don't know why I'm typing this, except these moods are rare and wonderful. I feel wonderful. I am wonderful. I will be wonderful, no matter what happens.
I don't know who reads this except my friends, who have probably given up as I've recently taken to a real pen and paper diary, but whoever you are, just smile. It's going to be okay.
<3