I just got out of their partial program. I did residential and partial there last summer. This summer I started in IOP and then stepped up to partial, but after two weeks was told that they didn't think treatment was what I needed right now. So I'm not really sure. I don't know what I'm going to do.
Were you compliant and working the program? I don't think they should have turned you away.... did you say you were okay? I cannot believe you have been turned away so much if you have a trauma history and severe depression that causes you to have trouble working or doing everyday stuff.
It can be a waste of time/money if you don't want to change, though. So maybe you could emphasize that? I've never been in treatment before so this isn't even from experience.
It's cruel some people are so depressed that they have a hard time doing the treatment but then get turned away. I don't know the facts, and of course don't talk about it if you don't feel comfortable since it's all confidential. This is just my 2 cents and I'm not a therapist or anything.
I was compliant within the program hours, and was open for the first time ever.....like, totally honest about my feelings, my behaviors, and the severe struggle I was having. I even voiced my concern to my case manager that maybe partial wasn't enough. She didn't agree. The last two days, however, I was not fully compliant in program. But I knew I was being discharged and didn't see the point
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They have to treat you I thought... ethically, if there is a risk you might harm yourself. What did they think you needed??? I mean if you are going to the program every day, it seems like you are ready! Do you have anyone who could advocate for you, like another doctor or therapist who has been working with you over a period of time?
I think if there is a helpful therapist or nutritionist or other medical provider who would be willing to intervene in this situation (possibly write them a letter or make a phone call or two), that could potentially get them to take things much more seriously. When someone else is advocating on your behalf, especially within the profession they are in, then sometimes they take notice.
You could also ask a lawyer to write them a letter BUT I think it would be less effective than a medical professional who is recommending you to their program.
I don't know what happened. The only thing I can think of is that census was ridiculously high. I was discharged on a Friday and that Monday they had 18 patients. I'm seeing my new therapist tomorrow before I go to employee health. I might try and say something to her. But I don't really know what to say, or if I can even say it. I mean....I never flat out told Walden that I was suicidal. Though I did tell my case manager that I didn't see the point in me living anymore.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I think it's a little late to go back to Walden, especially if it seems they don't want me there, you know?
It's going to be hard to admit that you need this, and it will be emotionally painful most likely... but if you are feeling this low and wanting to give up, then I don't know how it would hurt to ask for the treatment you need
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True. I've started to wonder if that was the issue with me being there. I was very open about the emotional stuff, but maybe they were thinking it was more of a physical problem...? I don't know. It's just something bouncing around in my head since I started seeing my new therapist. She's dealt with a lot of ED patients before and apparently I'm not the "typical" ED case....while I dabbled with ED behaviors from age 10-15, I stopped for 9 months before developing full blown Bulimia after being abused for several months. She seems to think that's what caused my ED, since unlike "99% of cases", it didn't start as a diet, and I don't have a "typical" ED family or something. I don't know. It just frustrates me to think about this even more though....like I have this mountain of issues that has led me here and I worry that it will never go away or that no one can help me, you know? As much as I worry about my size and as terrified of being fat as I am and preoccupied with that....I can definitely identify the fact that my eating disorder
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Treatment for the trauma could be more or less helpful... I have no idea since I'm not in your shoes and not a therapist. It could also be less triggering for the eating disorder stuff. Or it could be more triggering for the memories.
If it's a self-esteem issue related to trauma, I mean maybe since you were treated a certain way you internalized it in a way? Like you think that's what you deserve when you do not. Or that if you abuse yourself or your own body, somehow the abuse was in a weird way justified because you think it's somehow deserved when it is NOT. I have similar issues but it's not from sexual abuse... more from issues from childhood that I did not realize at the time were possibly abusive.
I'm trying to recover from alcoholism and thinking a lot about this stuff. I have never sought treatment for that or my eating issues... ever. So it's daunting.
My way of dealing with things that could be abusive are to pretend nothing happened, or that it was not abuse, or it was my fault in some way and to forgive the abuser like nothing happened. But then I have the emotional effects and it's like I have no clue what caused it when the cause would be obvious if I wasn't in denial.
Also... an eating disorder is a way of expressing pain. Same with self-harm. If it's hard to talk about, it's an alternate way of expressing or dealing with the feelings.
Also, in talking to your therapist, I would make a small list (or as extensive as you want) about what you actually want to get out of treatment, how you want your future to be. That way you have a destination, and your therapist can help you develop a roadmap for getting there. If you don't feel comfortable with that practitioner or you don't think they are a good match for you, then you can always start searching for another one. (Although it's probably frustrating starting over...)
It doesn't have to be completely detailed or even rational, just what you want for yourself. I have never done therapy even though I need to ask for help for several issues, but I am imagining what I'd do.
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It can be a waste of time/money if you don't want to change, though. So maybe you could emphasize that? I've never been in treatment before so this isn't even from experience.
It's cruel some people are so depressed that they have a hard time doing the treatment but then get turned away. I don't know the facts, and of course don't talk about it if you don't feel comfortable since it's all confidential. This is just my 2 cents and I'm not a therapist or anything.
Reply
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I think if there is a helpful therapist or nutritionist or other medical provider who would be willing to intervene in this situation (possibly write them a letter or make a phone call or two), that could potentially get them to take things much more seriously. When someone else is advocating on your behalf, especially within the profession they are in, then sometimes they take notice.
You could also ask a lawyer to write them a letter BUT I think it would be less effective than a medical professional who is recommending you to their program.
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I'm seeing my new therapist tomorrow before I go to employee health. I might try and say something to her. But I don't really know what to say, or if I can even say it. I mean....I never flat out told Walden that I was suicidal. Though I did tell my case manager that I didn't see the point in me living anymore.
I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I think it's a little late to go back to Walden, especially if it seems they don't want me there, you know?
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If it's a self-esteem issue related to trauma, I mean maybe since you were treated a certain way you internalized it in a way? Like you think that's what you deserve when you do not. Or that if you abuse yourself or your own body, somehow the abuse was in a weird way justified because you think it's somehow deserved when it is NOT. I have similar issues but it's not from sexual abuse... more from issues from childhood that I did not realize at the time were possibly abusive.
I'm trying to recover from alcoholism and thinking a lot about this stuff. I have never sought treatment for that or my eating issues... ever. So it's daunting.
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Also... an eating disorder is a way of expressing pain. Same with self-harm. If it's hard to talk about, it's an alternate way of expressing or dealing with the feelings.
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It doesn't have to be completely detailed or even rational, just what you want for yourself. I have never done therapy even though I need to ask for help for several issues, but I am imagining what I'd do.
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