(no subject)
At lake George with my best friend and her friend, Tim.
And I'm beyond miserable and I just want to go home.
Im a third wheel and I fucking hate myself. They had sex last night in the same god damn room. And they're at it again tonight so I'm in some other room. I want to cry. I threw up dinner because....well why he fuck not. I have gained so much weight in a week....10 l s. I just want to stop eating all together. I was thinking of calling walden on Tuesday if only because I've started binging and purging again but I just don't care anymore.
I just feel sad. I can't stand to look in the mirror. I hate my face. I hate my body. I don't want to go swimming I he lake. I don't want to go out in public. I don't wan to talk to anyone because all I can think about is how unbearably ugly and fat I am. I just want to stop existing because I'm so damn tired of this, I really am
And I'm beyond miserable and I just want to go home.
Im a third wheel and I fucking hate myself. They had sex last night in the same god damn room. And they're at it again tonight so I'm in some other room. I want to cry. I threw up dinner because....well why he fuck not. I have gained so much weight in a week....10 l s. I just want to stop eating all together. I was thinking of calling walden on Tuesday if only because I've started binging and purging again but I just don't care anymore.
I just feel sad. I can't stand to look in the mirror. I hate my face. I hate my body. I don't want to go swimming I he lake. I don't want to go out in public. I don't wan to talk to anyone because all I can think about is how unbearably ugly and fat I am. I just want to stop existing because I'm so damn tired of this, I really am