(no subject)
I feel like i only write in here when i'm super sad. and i feel like that right now. i had the worst day ever. maybe not ever, but it was bad. i woke up for work at three thirty, got changed, walked out the door and closed it without my keys. had to wake up my dad and get my keys. get to work, can't do math and make about two racks extra of doughnuts, cause i'm stupid. spilled my soup, couldn't eat it. broke a cutter. my friend bailed on me tonight. just a bad week.
things with roman... i dont even know anymore. i'm feeling so indifferent at times towards him, and other times i just want to be with him. he says he doesnt know what he wants, even though we've been whatever for like a year and a half now. and i just dont understand how you cant want to be more than just casual with someone that you've been around that much. its like, seriously. i dont understand. maybe i just love too freely. i have trouble trusting people, and once i do, it's like i throw everything i have into it to make it work. i cant wait until after finals this week and i can just relax, then maybe i can sleep at night. maybe then i can understand things better. maybe then.. i dont know. maybe things will be better. i'm slowly taking him out of my life. he's not doing anything positive for me.
i dont know. dont know. :( i'm so unhappy.
things with roman... i dont even know anymore. i'm feeling so indifferent at times towards him, and other times i just want to be with him. he says he doesnt know what he wants, even though we've been whatever for like a year and a half now. and i just dont understand how you cant want to be more than just casual with someone that you've been around that much. its like, seriously. i dont understand. maybe i just love too freely. i have trouble trusting people, and once i do, it's like i throw everything i have into it to make it work. i cant wait until after finals this week and i can just relax, then maybe i can sleep at night. maybe then i can understand things better. maybe then.. i dont know. maybe things will be better. i'm slowly taking him out of my life. he's not doing anything positive for me.
i dont know. dont know. :( i'm so unhappy.