[fic] Fernando Torres and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Season

[acchikocchi]

All I have to say about this is that it came to me on the train.

For emerwena, my favorite F.Torres fan, WITH LOVE. And with apologies to Judith Viorst, author of the brilliant original. All the credit goes to her and the blame to me.

liverpool fans please don't crucify me

787 words, gen, implied pairings, complete silliness.

Fernando Torres and the

Comments

[ashirbaad]

I KNOW. I thought Twitter/Tumblr/LJ would explode but it didn't quite.

Though I found this piece of gem on Twitter:



(Uhmmmm. I am deflecting said mental images by thinking about Jose Mourinho and Michael Laudrup going on a blind date. Yeah. No comments. Hahahahaha)

[acchikocchi]

*snorts* okay that's funny.

I'd like to know how Jose Mourinho agreed to a blind date in the first place. Feel free to elaborate. :D

[ashirbaad]

This is obviously time for an elaborate discussion. Ahem.

I'd expect Jose to act like he's above blind dates, but secretly his life has been rather miserable - he found out, much to his dislike, not many people are receptive towards his caustic tongue. And Laudrup, well he doesn't really have much success in landing men either, because people, he found out, are extremely put off by his unique ability to state the obvious in five different ways and talk in circles. So, Figo and Pep collaborate (it has to be them, there's almost an unwritten rule for it) to set them up on a blind date. Hilarity ensues of course.

[acchikocchi]

it has to be them

yes. yes it does. that is beautiful. Poor Jose, all those trophies yet EMPTY INSIDE. *cracking up* re: Laudrup: does that have something to do with his press conferences, by any chance? XDD

[ashirbaad]

Poor Jose. Sexually frustrated much? Well that explains his one man crusade against the system. Every press conference has a subtle dig at the LFP and referees in general - it's developing almost into a pattern! But I guess to be fair to him, he needs to find a way to channel that sexual frustration and berating the system beats committing homicide on rival managers. (You see why Pep Guardiola was so enthusiastic about setting his old buddy up on a blind date?)

As for Laudrup, he once said, after Mallorca's draw with Barcelona, something along the lines of Barca dominated the game but failed to secure the win, but that's not my problem, that's the Barca coach's problem. I rested my case that day.