After the military . . . Part 1
I've been out of the military for over a week now, as most of you know. I've been putting off writing this blog because I just didn't know how to write it. During the last few days leading up to my final Out Appointment I kept planning on how I'd blog about serving 5 years in the Air Force: my track to the opposite side of the world, meeting new people, seeing new places, experiencing new things, finding my place in the military culture and finding myself period. If I had to write about all of it, it'd take so long that I'd lose interest in writing it and people would lose interest in reading it. Since I didn't want either of those things to go down I thought that it would be better if I didn't write anything at all.
I sat on that decision for a few days and the more time that went by without me writing a single word the more I became uncomfortable. I finally realize why keeping quiet about the whole experience made me feel so uneasy. On August 24, 2004 I made it to Lackland AFB with one carry on bag full of clothes and one decision: I'm going to make it through basic training and I'm going to serve my four year contract. On May 23, 2009 I achieved that goal. Letting that accomplishment slip by quietly is like telling myself 'Oh it's not a big deal' or 'I'm ashamed of the whole thing and I'm better off forgetting it.'
There's a popular saying that goes "Some things are better left unsaid," well this is not one of those things. So first off, here's to me! Yay me for sticking to my guns and for not just doing my job but doing it d@mn well! And to all of you who have never even entertained the idea of joining the military or can't, here's a glimpse into the military life through the eyes of a person looking back. First, before I go into all the emotional and psychological drama, I'd like to start off with something I wrote 5 years ago.
********
July 20, 2004
11:04 am - List of things I want to do while I'm in the Air Force
After I got done with my chores this morning I got around to thinking about some things that I really want to do while I'm on my own, out in the world. I figured since the government will be covering a few of my expenses, and I'll have a steady figure income, why not live a little! So here it is - my LIST OF THINGS I WANT TO DO WHILE I'M IN THE AIRFORCE or it could be called THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I'M 21:
1. Buy silk bed sheets and a vanity
2. Visit my friend Ashley in Japan (take a stroll around Shibuya)
3. See France and Germany
4. Save enough money to buy a car (brand new preferably)
5. Start my own web site
6. Buy a digital camera to put pictures on my web site ;)
7. Visit at LEAST 3 new states
8. Get a tatoo or get my belly button pierced
9. Be in ONLY 3 meaningful relationships (I told this to Sister Noelle and she wanted to know why I only wanted 3, I told her because having 4 boyfriends in 4 years is too much)
10. Learn Karate and get in a fist fight (at a bar?) at LEAST ONCE (It'd make a great story to tell my friends and family)
11. Buy at LEAST 3 paintings (Note to my sisters: C'mon, we need something to hang on the walls of our house/aparment/whatever we live in when Mom and Dad leave!)
12. Learn some form of dancing (Ballroom, Waltz, Dirty, Salsa, Belly, Hula, Tap, Break, any one will work!)
13. Learn how to play an insturment (Harp perferably. Piano, violin, harmonica, are okay as well)
14. Buy a sketchbook and use it (Just like my sisters do)
15. Go visit some famous museums (Like the ones in New York, Washington D.C, or in Europe)
16. Make a friend on the internet & meet in real life (I'm really not sure about this one, but I put it on just to make sister Noelle happy)/ (I decided to add something else onto this) OR entertain a stranger (who knows it could be an angel!)
17. Catch a live musical perferably at Broadway (Phantom, Cats, Le Miserable)
18. Change someone's life preferably by saving it (I want to be a hero!)
19. Accomplish some remarkable act of faith (I'm not sure what I mean by this, I think I just want to experience a miracle or something like that. Like maybe go to Rome get pushed into a fire for believing in God, and not get burned, or standing up against imossible odds and winning. I'm sure when I do it, I'll know)
So far this is all I can think of, hopefully I'll add more in the future. I want to have each of those things tucked in my belt before it's legal for me to drink. The whole point of making this list is to make sure I enjoy my life while I can, before I get tied down into something serious. I do intend on doing everything on this list, just to make sure I DO, I will even set up a punishment for myself, and I'm counting on my family and friends to help me with this: For each number I don't accomplish I will have to give a homeless person $100.00. The time I have to get started on the list BEGINS when I get out of Bootcamp and ends when I leave the Air FOrce in four years.
*****
Here's the list again, except with everything I did manage to do in BOLD and some notes and my own thoughts in ITALICS
1. Buy silk bed sheets and a vanity
Never managed to get around to this, I guess I found other things worth spending my money on.
2. Visit my friend Ashley in Japan (take a stroll around Shibuya)
I really did want to visit my friend Ashley, but things happened. Like me getting sent to Turkey for my first assignment. Do you know how much a plane ticket from Turkey to Japan would have costed?
3. See France and Germany
Oh well, if I couldn't see Japan at least I managed to see: Turkey, Italy, Slovenia, Croatia, Ireland, U.A.E, Germany, Greece, England and France
4. Save enough money to buy a car (brand new preferably)
I bought a pretty nice Honda when I first arrived in Italy, but then I got into an accident. Then I had to buy a shitty looking Toyota : / . I can't wait to get back to the states and buy a nice new car.
5. Start my own web site
Right now I actively use: photobucket, livejournal, myspace, and facebook.
6. Buy a digital camera to put pictures on my web site ;)
This is pretty self explanatory.
7. Visit at LEAST 3 new states
Texas, California, Washington D.C. and New York. I actually didn't like New York City it was too dirty and too damn crowded.
8. Get a tatoo or get my belly button pierced
This one was easier said then done. I guess I never grew enough balls to get tat'd. The idea of having something on my body PERMANENTLY always freaked me out. And after seeing a few pierced belly buttons I decided that they were just as trashy as tramp stamps
9. Be in ONLY 3 meaningful relationships
Technically I was in FOUR relationships, but I figure since I got 9 extra months added onto my contract it was okay to have one more meaningful relationship
10. Learn Karate and get in a fist fight at LEAST ONCE
When I deployed to Al Dharfra to do Force Protection with Security Forces I had to learn how to fight with an iron baton. The class took 8 hours and at the end I had to fight The Red Men. Good Times!
11. Buy at LEAST 3 paintings
Boo me, I only bought one in Paris : (
12. Learn some form of dancing
I took belly dancing classes while I was in Turkey and a few while I was in Italy. I learned how to Salsa when I deployed. And I did a couple of hula performances during Asian Pacific Islander month last May.
13. Learn how to play an insturment
I learned how to play the cymbals in basic training.
14. Buy a sketchbook and use it
While I was in Turkey I wanted to learn how to use water color, so I bought a sketch pad with special water color paper and I used it for a little while.
15. Go visit some famous museums
Let's see I've been to a few museums in Istanbul. I've been to the Smithsonian in Maryland, The Vatican Museum in The Vatican City, a few nice museums in Athens and Rhodes, and the Lourve in Paris
16. Make a friend on the internet & meet in real life OR entertain a stranger
After reading a bunch of articles and seeing a whole bunch of news stories, I decided AGAINST meeting some stranger on the internet. Winding up raped or murdered in a hotel room isn't something I wanted to experience (in the military or EVER). But I have run into a lot of nice people in my bar hopping days and had a lot of fun.
17. Catch a live musical perferably at Broadway
I saw Phantom of the Opera while I was in New York. I wanted to catch Wicked too but the tickets are waaay too expensive on an A1C's paycheck
18. Change someone's life preferably by saving it
While what I did in the hospital did save lives it was more in an indirect way. When a patient was bleeding out and needed blood, I was in the lab cross matching and doing compatibility tests. I really didn't have any direct contact with the seriously ill patients. And the patients that came in for blood work, I'm sure they changed my life more then I ever changed any of theirs.
19. Accomplish some remarkable act of faith
I wasn't sure what I meant when I wrote this, and I'm still not sure what it means. Sure, a lot of the things I did in the past took a lot of blind faith and courage. But I don't think anything I did was remarkable.
I sat on that decision for a few days and the more time that went by without me writing a single word the more I became uncomfortable. I finally realize why keeping quiet about the whole experience made me feel so uneasy. On August 24, 2004 I made it to Lackland AFB with one carry on bag full of clothes and one decision: I'm going to make it through basic training and I'm going to serve my four year contract. On May 23, 2009 I achieved that goal. Letting that accomplishment slip by quietly is like telling myself 'Oh it's not a big deal' or 'I'm ashamed of the whole thing and I'm better off forgetting it.'
There's a popular saying that goes "Some things are better left unsaid," well this is not one of those things. So first off, here's to me! Yay me for sticking to my guns and for not just doing my job but doing it d@mn well! And to all of you who have never even entertained the idea of joining the military or can't, here's a glimpse into the military life through the eyes of a person looking back. First, before I go into all the emotional and psychological drama, I'd like to start off with something I wrote 5 years ago.
********
July 20, 2004
11:04 am - List of things I want to do while I'm in the Air Force
After I got done with my chores this morning I got around to thinking about some things that I really want to do while I'm on my own, out in the world. I figured since the government will be covering a few of my expenses, and I'll have a steady figure income, why not live a little! So here it is - my LIST OF THINGS I WANT TO DO WHILE I'M IN THE AIRFORCE or it could be called THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I'M 21:
1. Buy silk bed sheets and a vanity
2. Visit my friend Ashley in Japan (take a stroll around Shibuya)
3. See France and Germany
4. Save enough money to buy a car (brand new preferably)
5. Start my own web site
6. Buy a digital camera to put pictures on my web site ;)
7. Visit at LEAST 3 new states
8. Get a tatoo or get my belly button pierced
9. Be in ONLY 3 meaningful relationships (I told this to Sister Noelle and she wanted to know why I only wanted 3, I told her because having 4 boyfriends in 4 years is too much)
10. Learn Karate and get in a fist fight (at a bar?) at LEAST ONCE (It'd make a great story to tell my friends and family)
11. Buy at LEAST 3 paintings (Note to my sisters: C'mon, we need something to hang on the walls of our house/aparment/whatever we live in when Mom and Dad leave!)
12. Learn some form of dancing (Ballroom, Waltz, Dirty, Salsa, Belly, Hula, Tap, Break, any one will work!)
13. Learn how to play an insturment (Harp perferably. Piano, violin, harmonica, are okay as well)
14. Buy a sketchbook and use it (Just like my sisters do)
15. Go visit some famous museums (Like the ones in New York, Washington D.C, or in Europe)
16. Make a friend on the internet & meet in real life (I'm really not sure about this one, but I put it on just to make sister Noelle happy)/ (I decided to add something else onto this) OR entertain a stranger (who knows it could be an angel!)
17. Catch a live musical perferably at Broadway (Phantom, Cats, Le Miserable)
18. Change someone's life preferably by saving it (I want to be a hero!)
19. Accomplish some remarkable act of faith (I'm not sure what I mean by this, I think I just want to experience a miracle or something like that. Like maybe go to Rome get pushed into a fire for believing in God, and not get burned, or standing up against imossible odds and winning. I'm sure when I do it, I'll know)
So far this is all I can think of, hopefully I'll add more in the future. I want to have each of those things tucked in my belt before it's legal for me to drink. The whole point of making this list is to make sure I enjoy my life while I can, before I get tied down into something serious. I do intend on doing everything on this list, just to make sure I DO, I will even set up a punishment for myself, and I'm counting on my family and friends to help me with this: For each number I don't accomplish I will have to give a homeless person $100.00. The time I have to get started on the list BEGINS when I get out of Bootcamp and ends when I leave the Air FOrce in four years.
*****
Here's the list again, except with everything I did manage to do in BOLD and some notes and my own thoughts in ITALICS
1. Buy silk bed sheets and a vanity
Never managed to get around to this, I guess I found other things worth spending my money on.
2. Visit my friend Ashley in Japan (take a stroll around Shibuya)
I really did want to visit my friend Ashley, but things happened. Like me getting sent to Turkey for my first assignment. Do you know how much a plane ticket from Turkey to Japan would have costed?
3. See France and Germany
Oh well, if I couldn't see Japan at least I managed to see: Turkey, Italy, Slovenia, Croatia, Ireland, U.A.E, Germany, Greece, England and France
4. Save enough money to buy a car (brand new preferably)
I bought a pretty nice Honda when I first arrived in Italy, but then I got into an accident. Then I had to buy a shitty looking Toyota : / . I can't wait to get back to the states and buy a nice new car.
5. Start my own web site
Right now I actively use: photobucket, livejournal, myspace, and facebook.
6. Buy a digital camera to put pictures on my web site ;)
This is pretty self explanatory.
7. Visit at LEAST 3 new states
Texas, California, Washington D.C. and New York. I actually didn't like New York City it was too dirty and too damn crowded.
8. Get a tatoo or get my belly button pierced
This one was easier said then done. I guess I never grew enough balls to get tat'd. The idea of having something on my body PERMANENTLY always freaked me out. And after seeing a few pierced belly buttons I decided that they were just as trashy as tramp stamps
9. Be in ONLY 3 meaningful relationships
Technically I was in FOUR relationships, but I figure since I got 9 extra months added onto my contract it was okay to have one more meaningful relationship
10. Learn Karate and get in a fist fight at LEAST ONCE
When I deployed to Al Dharfra to do Force Protection with Security Forces I had to learn how to fight with an iron baton. The class took 8 hours and at the end I had to fight The Red Men. Good Times!
11. Buy at LEAST 3 paintings
Boo me, I only bought one in Paris : (
12. Learn some form of dancing
I took belly dancing classes while I was in Turkey and a few while I was in Italy. I learned how to Salsa when I deployed. And I did a couple of hula performances during Asian Pacific Islander month last May.
13. Learn how to play an insturment
I learned how to play the cymbals in basic training.
14. Buy a sketchbook and use it
While I was in Turkey I wanted to learn how to use water color, so I bought a sketch pad with special water color paper and I used it for a little while.
15. Go visit some famous museums
Let's see I've been to a few museums in Istanbul. I've been to the Smithsonian in Maryland, The Vatican Museum in The Vatican City, a few nice museums in Athens and Rhodes, and the Lourve in Paris
16. Make a friend on the internet & meet in real life OR entertain a stranger
After reading a bunch of articles and seeing a whole bunch of news stories, I decided AGAINST meeting some stranger on the internet. Winding up raped or murdered in a hotel room isn't something I wanted to experience (in the military or EVER). But I have run into a lot of nice people in my bar hopping days and had a lot of fun.
17. Catch a live musical perferably at Broadway
I saw Phantom of the Opera while I was in New York. I wanted to catch Wicked too but the tickets are waaay too expensive on an A1C's paycheck
18. Change someone's life preferably by saving it
While what I did in the hospital did save lives it was more in an indirect way. When a patient was bleeding out and needed blood, I was in the lab cross matching and doing compatibility tests. I really didn't have any direct contact with the seriously ill patients. And the patients that came in for blood work, I'm sure they changed my life more then I ever changed any of theirs.
19. Accomplish some remarkable act of faith
I wasn't sure what I meant when I wrote this, and I'm still not sure what it means. Sure, a lot of the things I did in the past took a lot of blind faith and courage. But I don't think anything I did was remarkable.