On why I don't like some wedding parties.
The first thing I must underline here is that I'm NOT against the idea of tying the knot. What I'm against is wedding parties as means of show off.
Look, I'm actually not fussy about the size of the party. Some people have so many friends that they have to invite. But then what is the party for? It hurts me most that some parties are not mainly intended to make the couple's beloved ones happy with them, but as a means for their parents to show people that they have a lot of money, that they can invite important people to their party, etc etc.
Plus, in many parts in Indonesia, a family still has to pay a gigantic sum of money ('buying the bride or the groom'), provide a lot of cattles, and/or throw a great party so that their child can marry the child of another family. This oftentimes plunge families into debts and poverty. Goodness. And maybe this has something to do with the 'NO FLOWERS OR GIFT' thing (see below). And what's worse? Holding an extravagant party with blood money that your corruptor dad has leeched of poor people.
And about titles, ah yes. I've talked about this in the previous post, and I think I've made it clear. I'm proud of my title (you should be proud of yours too when you've worked hard for it), but I'm using it properly, when necessary.
Titles? Here in a country when you can buy it or cheat to get it? Here when I know that you want (or is forced) to put titles on your invitation because your parents want to show off, "Hey, we have enough money to send our kids to college, you know. Look how bright she is - she has a degree in engineering/science/social sciences/whatever!" Snobbish. Riya'.
And another trend that annoys me so much: 'inviting' friends to wedding with e-mail. Maybe I'm old-fashioned or something, but I always feel hurt when a friend invites me to his/her wedding just with this kind of e-mail:
"Gw mo nikah tgl xx-yy-zzzz di ABC, dateng yak"
Can't you even write a proper, polite e-mail? Why not think of e-cards? I'm your friend, but it doesn't mean that you might treat me so... so reckless, while you send tons of proper, expensive, beautiful invitations to people that you don't even know, and they don't even know you. They're on the list because your parents think it's prestigious and compulsory to have them on the party, although what they do is just come, shake some hands, and then go again without even have a drink, while we, your friends, are treated like some specks of dust.
Seriously, I'd rather receive a simple, hand-written invitation than an impolite e-mail!
And when I do get an invitation, I hate it, I say I hate it to see these words on it: "WE APOLOGISE THAT WE DON'T ACCEPT FLOWERS OR MONEY." WHAT? Since when do wedding parties have break even point? Look, guys. If I say to you, "I'm having my birthday. Come on over and let's have some fun." It means that I want you to come and be happy with me. You don't even have to bring any gift, but if you think that as a friend I'm wonderful and I deserve a gift, so that you go out and buy something, then it's very very sweet of you. I feel honored. I really appreciate what you do. But again, you don't have to bring anything, because I want you to be with me, it's me who wants you to come. You're willing to spend some hours in my party, that's already too much I ask of you. If you hold a party, that's because you want to share your happiness with your beloved ones. Not because of to keep your prestige BUT wanting the money you spent on it to return!
Ugh. Sorry for venting these things out, but I just can't take it anymore. My man and I will just have a simple but warm, friendly wedding, even when we have the money to throw out an extravagant party. Oh, even when it's extravagant, it will be a party for family, relatives, and friends, not for some very important people whose names we don't even know.
Look, I'm actually not fussy about the size of the party. Some people have so many friends that they have to invite. But then what is the party for? It hurts me most that some parties are not mainly intended to make the couple's beloved ones happy with them, but as a means for their parents to show people that they have a lot of money, that they can invite important people to their party, etc etc.
Plus, in many parts in Indonesia, a family still has to pay a gigantic sum of money ('buying the bride or the groom'), provide a lot of cattles, and/or throw a great party so that their child can marry the child of another family. This oftentimes plunge families into debts and poverty. Goodness. And maybe this has something to do with the 'NO FLOWERS OR GIFT' thing (see below). And what's worse? Holding an extravagant party with blood money that your corruptor dad has leeched of poor people.
And about titles, ah yes. I've talked about this in the previous post, and I think I've made it clear. I'm proud of my title (you should be proud of yours too when you've worked hard for it), but I'm using it properly, when necessary.
Titles? Here in a country when you can buy it or cheat to get it? Here when I know that you want (or is forced) to put titles on your invitation because your parents want to show off, "Hey, we have enough money to send our kids to college, you know. Look how bright she is - she has a degree in engineering/science/social sciences/whatever!" Snobbish. Riya'.
And another trend that annoys me so much: 'inviting' friends to wedding with e-mail. Maybe I'm old-fashioned or something, but I always feel hurt when a friend invites me to his/her wedding just with this kind of e-mail:
"Gw mo nikah tgl xx-yy-zzzz di ABC, dateng yak"
Can't you even write a proper, polite e-mail? Why not think of e-cards? I'm your friend, but it doesn't mean that you might treat me so... so reckless, while you send tons of proper, expensive, beautiful invitations to people that you don't even know, and they don't even know you. They're on the list because your parents think it's prestigious and compulsory to have them on the party, although what they do is just come, shake some hands, and then go again without even have a drink, while we, your friends, are treated like some specks of dust.
Seriously, I'd rather receive a simple, hand-written invitation than an impolite e-mail!
And when I do get an invitation, I hate it, I say I hate it to see these words on it: "WE APOLOGISE THAT WE DON'T ACCEPT FLOWERS OR MONEY." WHAT? Since when do wedding parties have break even point? Look, guys. If I say to you, "I'm having my birthday. Come on over and let's have some fun." It means that I want you to come and be happy with me. You don't even have to bring any gift, but if you think that as a friend I'm wonderful and I deserve a gift, so that you go out and buy something, then it's very very sweet of you. I feel honored. I really appreciate what you do. But again, you don't have to bring anything, because I want you to be with me, it's me who wants you to come. You're willing to spend some hours in my party, that's already too much I ask of you. If you hold a party, that's because you want to share your happiness with your beloved ones. Not because of to keep your prestige BUT wanting the money you spent on it to return!
Ugh. Sorry for venting these things out, but I just can't take it anymore. My man and I will just have a simple but warm, friendly wedding, even when we have the money to throw out an extravagant party. Oh, even when it's extravagant, it will be a party for family, relatives, and friends, not for some very important people whose names we don't even know.