Growing old, or, how I am always right
"What's the name of that Blondie song?" inquired your friendly narrator's mother.
Your narrator had to clarify because she could not work with so little information provided. "Which Blondie song, mother dear?"
"The one from Parallel Lines."
"Which one from Parallel Lines? Heart of Glass? One Way or Another? Hanging on the Telephone?"
"No!" the mother burst out, clearly frustrated. "It was a single, but it wasn't any of those! I remember the video!"
"Well, if it was a single, are you sure you're not thinking of a different album rather than Parallel Lines?" Your narrator tried to keep her own frustration out of her voice.
"I don't know. Debbie Harry was wearing an especially short miniskirt on the cover."
"Well, on the cover of Parallel Lines Debbie is wearing a white dress that is positively modest by anyone's standards. It's certainly not a miniskirt, and I know the sorts of clothes you used to get away with wearing, Mother!"
"I must be wrong about the album," replied the mother helplessly.
"Let's check the other ones one by one. Look, it can't be Eat to the Beat, the only bit of Debbie shown is her face. But maybe you are thinking of Autoamerican. She's wearing black shorts."
"That might be it! What are the tracks?"
Your narrator patiently read out the track listing. The mother mulled this over, then said thoughtfully, "It was a rap song. The first ever rap song."
"You mean Rapture!"
"YES! That's the song!"
[RAPTURE IS PLAYED VERY LOUDLY.]
The mother is most delighted. "Your sister has to hear this. I was trying to tell her about this song."
The sister is summoned, and she listens to the song. "It's ok... but I don't really like rap. I like her hair, though." Note that the sister is not someone who usually cares about other people's hair.
"Not even It's Tricky?!" your narrator exclaimed, very disappointed. Her cry went unheard.
"Rapture was the first rap song," says the mother with a great deal of pride in her voice.
"No Mother, I'm afraid it wasn't. Rapper's Delight was the first rap song to make the charts, in 1979. Indeed, Rapture was influenced by Rapper's Delight, and it was the first rap song to top the charts, in 1981."
Your narrator was ignored by her mother, who chose to cling to her belief that Blondie did indeed make the first rap song ever.
[RAPPER'S DELIGHT IS PLAYED VERY LOUDLY.]
"Actually, I kind of like this song," the sister announced sheepishly.
[IT'S TRICKY IS PLAYED VERY LOUDLY.]
The mother looks up from her novel to inquire, "Can you be like Queen Latifah? She's very talented."
Your narrator had to clarify because she could not work with so little information provided. "Which Blondie song, mother dear?"
"The one from Parallel Lines."
"Which one from Parallel Lines? Heart of Glass? One Way or Another? Hanging on the Telephone?"
"No!" the mother burst out, clearly frustrated. "It was a single, but it wasn't any of those! I remember the video!"
"Well, if it was a single, are you sure you're not thinking of a different album rather than Parallel Lines?" Your narrator tried to keep her own frustration out of her voice.
"I don't know. Debbie Harry was wearing an especially short miniskirt on the cover."
"Well, on the cover of Parallel Lines Debbie is wearing a white dress that is positively modest by anyone's standards. It's certainly not a miniskirt, and I know the sorts of clothes you used to get away with wearing, Mother!"
"I must be wrong about the album," replied the mother helplessly.
"Let's check the other ones one by one. Look, it can't be Eat to the Beat, the only bit of Debbie shown is her face. But maybe you are thinking of Autoamerican. She's wearing black shorts."
"That might be it! What are the tracks?"
Your narrator patiently read out the track listing. The mother mulled this over, then said thoughtfully, "It was a rap song. The first ever rap song."
"You mean Rapture!"
"YES! That's the song!"
[RAPTURE IS PLAYED VERY LOUDLY.]
The mother is most delighted. "Your sister has to hear this. I was trying to tell her about this song."
The sister is summoned, and she listens to the song. "It's ok... but I don't really like rap. I like her hair, though." Note that the sister is not someone who usually cares about other people's hair.
"Not even It's Tricky?!" your narrator exclaimed, very disappointed. Her cry went unheard.
"Rapture was the first rap song," says the mother with a great deal of pride in her voice.
"No Mother, I'm afraid it wasn't. Rapper's Delight was the first rap song to make the charts, in 1979. Indeed, Rapture was influenced by Rapper's Delight, and it was the first rap song to top the charts, in 1981."
Your narrator was ignored by her mother, who chose to cling to her belief that Blondie did indeed make the first rap song ever.
[RAPPER'S DELIGHT IS PLAYED VERY LOUDLY.]
"Actually, I kind of like this song," the sister announced sheepishly.
[IT'S TRICKY IS PLAYED VERY LOUDLY.]
The mother looks up from her novel to inquire, "Can you be like Queen Latifah? She's very talented."