player issues abound
I love all my characters. I enjoy playing them, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on their voices, and the last thing I want to do is drop any of them. So I should at least try to fix this, no matter how much I want to just keep avoiding the issue.
Said issue, of course, is my inability to bring them out. I was having problems long before I made an official hiatus announcement, and considering I got back from my trip last Wednesday and haven't played once yet, the problems are continuing. So I'm going to try to get all my issues written out. Even if I have no idea how to solve them, at least I'll know exactly what and where they all are.
The biggest thing is my work situation. I absolutely hate my job. The hours are never consistent week to week, I get paid a fraction of what I'm worth, the work itself is frustrating and stressful ninety percent of the time... Most days I come home drained, out of energy, wanting to sit around and do nothing more than I want to actually play. And of course I can't find a single job offer no matter where I look. Essentially, I feel like I'm failing at every aspect of my life, not just the role-playing aspect.
Beyond just hating work, I have problems with my availability because of it. I'm starting to get earlier shifts now, which means I get home earlier -- but that also means I have to go to bed earlier for the next day. And I feel like I never manage to be around at the same time as the people I like to play with the most. It's really frustrating.
Things are improving on that front. I arranged to get Saturday as my guaranteed day off each week, which means I'll always be able to stay up Friday nights. Also, I've read and reread Kon's wonderful essay, mind you, and it has helped. But it's still an issue for me emotionally, even if I'm accepting it intellectually. Fun.
Here's another issue! Icons. We all know about the recent LiveJournal drama, and we all have our own opinions on it. I've given it a lot of thought; even though I personally wasn't affected by any of it, I feel like LJ has let me down, and while I'll keep using them, I can't in good faith give them any more money until they properly address everyone's concerns. If you see it differently, that's fine. I don't want to try to argue or convert anyone. That's just how I feel. But if I'm not paying LJ any more money, that means I don't get any more paid time. And indeed, all of my accounts except Setsuna's are currently expired.
I wrote up some code that'd make it easy for me to link to icons in my comment. Like this. The icons are on my web space, so I'm not using anyone's bandwidth but my own, and it looks a bit weird, but not bad.
But I'm terrified of actually using it IC. I heard there was a lot of drama going on when some other people discussed an idea like this. And if I'm going to cause more drama or arguments by using it, then I'd rather just... not play.
I... think that's all the issues I'm having right now. ... Time to see if sleeping on it will help any.
Said issue, of course, is my inability to bring them out. I was having problems long before I made an official hiatus announcement, and considering I got back from my trip last Wednesday and haven't played once yet, the problems are continuing. So I'm going to try to get all my issues written out. Even if I have no idea how to solve them, at least I'll know exactly what and where they all are.
The biggest thing is my work situation. I absolutely hate my job. The hours are never consistent week to week, I get paid a fraction of what I'm worth, the work itself is frustrating and stressful ninety percent of the time... Most days I come home drained, out of energy, wanting to sit around and do nothing more than I want to actually play. And of course I can't find a single job offer no matter where I look. Essentially, I feel like I'm failing at every aspect of my life, not just the role-playing aspect.
Beyond just hating work, I have problems with my availability because of it. I'm starting to get earlier shifts now, which means I get home earlier -- but that also means I have to go to bed earlier for the next day. And I feel like I never manage to be around at the same time as the people I like to play with the most. It's really frustrating.
Things are improving on that front. I arranged to get Saturday as my guaranteed day off each week, which means I'll always be able to stay up Friday nights. Also, I've read and reread Kon's wonderful essay, mind you, and it has helped. But it's still an issue for me emotionally, even if I'm accepting it intellectually. Fun.
Here's another issue! Icons. We all know about the recent LiveJournal drama, and we all have our own opinions on it. I've given it a lot of thought; even though I personally wasn't affected by any of it, I feel like LJ has let me down, and while I'll keep using them, I can't in good faith give them any more money until they properly address everyone's concerns. If you see it differently, that's fine. I don't want to try to argue or convert anyone. That's just how I feel. But if I'm not paying LJ any more money, that means I don't get any more paid time. And indeed, all of my accounts except Setsuna's are currently expired.
I wrote up some code that'd make it easy for me to link to icons in my comment. Like this. The icons are on my web space, so I'm not using anyone's bandwidth but my own, and it looks a bit weird, but not bad.
But I'm terrified of actually using it IC. I heard there was a lot of drama going on when some other people discussed an idea like this. And if I'm going to cause more drama or arguments by using it, then I'd rather just... not play.
I... think that's all the issues I'm having right now. ... Time to see if sleeping on it will help any.