W is for Wobegon
Title: W is for Wobegon
Author: ACarlGeek
e-mail: ACarlGeek@yahoo.com
Rating: All ages (G)
Genre: Gen, Team
Category: Humor, Team, Jack Alpha-Bits, October Gen Fic Round-Up
Spoilers: Learning Curve
Season: Some time after Season 3's Learning Curve.
Summary: Jack tries to explain a Minnesotan reference.
Warnings: None.
Status: This >600-word story is unbetaed and all errors are mine.
Disclaimer: The Stargate, SG-1, the Goa'uld and all other characters who have appeared in the series STARGATE SG-1 together with the names, titles and backstory are the sole copyright property of MGM-UA Worldwide Television, Gekko Film Corp, Glassner/Wright Double Secret Productions and Stargate SG-I Prod. Ltd. Partnership. Lake Wobegon belongs to Garrison Keillor. This fanfic is not intended as an infringement upon those rights and is solely meant for entertainment; no money is being made. The story idea and the story itself are the sole ideas of the author.
W is for Wobegon.
“What? No, no, it’s Wobegon, Carter, Lake Wobegon. I can’t believe you’ve never heard of Lake Wobegon. It’s in southern Minnesota, just off I-90…”
The colonel’s extravagant yet uninformative tirade was interrupted by Daniel, softly singing, “…Where the coffee pot always is on.”
O'Neill directed a startled glare in Daniel’s direction, considered a moment, then nodded, “I should have expected you to know THAT part.” He turned back to Carter, “See, even Daniel has heard of Lake Wobegon. It’s a national landmark, or historical site, or something like that. It’s famous. Everyone’s heard of Lake Wobegon.” Daniel’s eyebrows rose at this, but he pursed his lips to contain any further interjections, at least for the moment.
Carter got that slightly uncertain, but determined to figure it out look that meant she was processing information at lightning speed. She glanced from O’Neill to Daniel long enough to register that although Daniel’s bullshit meter had evidently been activated, the colonel hadn’t gone far enough to trigger a rebuttal. There’d be no further clues from that direction without additional prompting. Her eyes flicked to Teal’c, to see the slight head tilt that meant HE recognized the colonel’s reference, but in a different context, and he was attempting to decipher the probably nebulous link the colonel had made to the current situation.
Her confused gaze returned to O’Neill, “OK, sir, even though I've never heard of Lake Wobegon, evidently Daniel and Teal'c can confirm it exists." She saw Daniel wince, which told her that with this apparently safe assumption she was stepping into the Colonel's trap, but proceeded anyway, since she could see no other approach to deciphering this puzzle. "However, I don’t see why a visit from Orbanian children makes the SGC like a small town in Minnesota.”
Daniel raised his eyebrows, rolled his head, and ended with a negative headshake. His lips remained firmly sealed. He locked eyes with O'Neill with an expression that clearly said, 'You brought it up, you're explaining it to her.' Even though Daniel wasn't giving her any explicit help, Carter was happy to see O'Neill's smug expression drop a notch when Daniel refused to front for him.
Teal'c supplied a possible connection, not that it really helped explain anything, "I believe it is because of the nanocyte-enhanced intelligence of the Orbanian children, Major Carter."
Daniel and O'Neill both nodded, but neither said anything. Daniel was suppressing a smile. O'Neill was beginning to look a little worried for some reason. Carter probed for additional information, "So there's a special school for gifted students in Lake Wobegon?" She'd have read about a nanocyte factory. Both men shook their heads, but Daniel's smile told Carter she was on the right track.
Teal'c was evidently still pursuing the connection himself, "None specifically designed as such, Major Carter; however, since all of the children in Lake Wobegon are above average, the local schools would effectively be schools for the gifted."
Carter's confusion returned as she processed Teal'c's statement. "How can they all be above average, Teal'c? About half of them have to be below average, or are they all somehow above the national average? That would be a phenomenon worthy of note."
Teal'c frowned in thought, "I am not certain Major Carter, all I know is that each week as Garrison Keillor concludes the news from Lake Wobegon on Public Radio, he reminds listeners that Lake Wobegon is ‘where the women are strong, the men are good looking, and the children are all above average’."
"Where the women are …" Carter's voice petered out. The look she turned on O'Neill was anything BUT confused, "Sir!"
O'Neill’s expression had definitely shifted from smug to woebegone.
***