how does it feel?
i have so much to say that i don't even know where to begin. after many false starts, i'm just going to tell you what michael jackson meant to me.
when thriller came out in 1982, even my dad (who otherwise seemed to be allergic to popular music) bought the record. it was played regularly in our house. for some reason i had the idea that side B was actually side A, and to this day i generally order my thriller playlist beginning with "Beat It". i must have been about five years old when my dad faked michael jackson's signature on the record sleeve. he showed it to me with some smug excitement, but he didn't expect me to confidently declare it as a fake - after all, michael jackson's signature appeared elsewhere on the record and the two didn't match. nice try, dad.
my brother was also a big fan of michael jackson, and together we listened to the jackson 5 ('destiny' in particular), 'off the wall', 'thriller' and 'bad'. all on record, of course.
i associate 'dangerous' with my anna_rosa - my best friend at the time. i don't know how many hours we spent listening to that tape, from 'jam' through to the title track, while playing upstairs in her bedroom.
in my later teens, thriller (in my opinion, the greatest album of all time) became the soundtrack to some rather questionable behaviour .. i'll never forget singing along to PYT in the car while driving way too fast and doing things that weren't too smart.
his most recent album, invincible, had some great music on it but wasn't nearly as solid as his other material. 'you rock my world' is still one of my favourite michael jackson songs, and it was on the 'greatest hits' mix tape that i painstakingly made for my car that covered michael jackson's career spanning from his early days as a member of the jackson 5 until that time. that tape is still in my car, though it has been replaced by an updated playlist on my ipod.
it was only in the last year or so that i discovered HIStory (almost 15 years late) - here michael jackson welcomed us and begged us to get to know the real him ... his lyrics had never been overly personal in my mind, they told stories or held messages that were universal (such as 'smooth criminal' or 'heal the world'). HIStory was raw and personal - i was blown away by the candor of 'strangers in moscow' and, if you ask me, it is still one of the best songs he ever wrote.
this is what michael jackson means to me. it is, of course, impossible to ignore his odd appearance, his child molestation trials, the bashir documentary, his massive debt, his chimp, the baby dangling incident, his unusual marriages. i'm so pleased that the world was reminded today that in a free country, we are innocent until proven guilty. only michael and the alleged victims know the truth about what happened, but i will say this: michael jackson was a brilliantly creative and musically talented man who endured a lot of hardship and was a tragic figure. in a lot of ways, he never grew up. if he was in fact guilty, i don't believe that it was predatory, but a symptom of a sickness. at best, michael crossed the lines of propriety and was an easy target. i really believe that if he hurt anybody, it was not intended. nobody can argue that michael was always 100% in control of all his faculties.
after hearing his daughter's tearful goodbye today, i am ashamed to admit that even i questioned his ability as a father, even after his death. i thought that, while very sad, perhaps his children would live more normal lives now. what a horrible, ignorant thing to say - i said it because the only thing i knew of them was 'blanket' and baby dangling and the masks they wear in public, surrounded by an army of bodyguards and paparazzi. and, of course, what it was also influenced by what i perceived as michael jackson's mental instability, fixation on children and potentially unclear role. this coming from someone who loves michael jackson.
i do love michael jackson, warts and all.
but he still has his haters, even in death. give it a rest. get over yourselves. leave him alone. don't knee-jerk things you know nothing about. nobody knows enough about anything to make such horrible judgements. including myself, apparently.
this past week, instead of listening to random music on my ipod, i've been actively skipping ahead to michael jackson. and when i hear his music, i feel sad. i can't count how many times i've choked up on the street this week.
so rest in peace michael j... you've gone too soon.
when thriller came out in 1982, even my dad (who otherwise seemed to be allergic to popular music) bought the record. it was played regularly in our house. for some reason i had the idea that side B was actually side A, and to this day i generally order my thriller playlist beginning with "Beat It". i must have been about five years old when my dad faked michael jackson's signature on the record sleeve. he showed it to me with some smug excitement, but he didn't expect me to confidently declare it as a fake - after all, michael jackson's signature appeared elsewhere on the record and the two didn't match. nice try, dad.
my brother was also a big fan of michael jackson, and together we listened to the jackson 5 ('destiny' in particular), 'off the wall', 'thriller' and 'bad'. all on record, of course.
i associate 'dangerous' with my anna_rosa - my best friend at the time. i don't know how many hours we spent listening to that tape, from 'jam' through to the title track, while playing upstairs in her bedroom.
in my later teens, thriller (in my opinion, the greatest album of all time) became the soundtrack to some rather questionable behaviour .. i'll never forget singing along to PYT in the car while driving way too fast and doing things that weren't too smart.
his most recent album, invincible, had some great music on it but wasn't nearly as solid as his other material. 'you rock my world' is still one of my favourite michael jackson songs, and it was on the 'greatest hits' mix tape that i painstakingly made for my car that covered michael jackson's career spanning from his early days as a member of the jackson 5 until that time. that tape is still in my car, though it has been replaced by an updated playlist on my ipod.
it was only in the last year or so that i discovered HIStory (almost 15 years late) - here michael jackson welcomed us and begged us to get to know the real him ... his lyrics had never been overly personal in my mind, they told stories or held messages that were universal (such as 'smooth criminal' or 'heal the world'). HIStory was raw and personal - i was blown away by the candor of 'strangers in moscow' and, if you ask me, it is still one of the best songs he ever wrote.
this is what michael jackson means to me. it is, of course, impossible to ignore his odd appearance, his child molestation trials, the bashir documentary, his massive debt, his chimp, the baby dangling incident, his unusual marriages. i'm so pleased that the world was reminded today that in a free country, we are innocent until proven guilty. only michael and the alleged victims know the truth about what happened, but i will say this: michael jackson was a brilliantly creative and musically talented man who endured a lot of hardship and was a tragic figure. in a lot of ways, he never grew up. if he was in fact guilty, i don't believe that it was predatory, but a symptom of a sickness. at best, michael crossed the lines of propriety and was an easy target. i really believe that if he hurt anybody, it was not intended. nobody can argue that michael was always 100% in control of all his faculties.
after hearing his daughter's tearful goodbye today, i am ashamed to admit that even i questioned his ability as a father, even after his death. i thought that, while very sad, perhaps his children would live more normal lives now. what a horrible, ignorant thing to say - i said it because the only thing i knew of them was 'blanket' and baby dangling and the masks they wear in public, surrounded by an army of bodyguards and paparazzi. and, of course, what it was also influenced by what i perceived as michael jackson's mental instability, fixation on children and potentially unclear role. this coming from someone who loves michael jackson.
i do love michael jackson, warts and all.
but he still has his haters, even in death. give it a rest. get over yourselves. leave him alone. don't knee-jerk things you know nothing about. nobody knows enough about anything to make such horrible judgements. including myself, apparently.
this past week, instead of listening to random music on my ipod, i've been actively skipping ahead to michael jackson. and when i hear his music, i feel sad. i can't count how many times i've choked up on the street this week.
so rest in peace michael j... you've gone too soon.
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