i had to wonder...
that is my way of saying that i have been watching too much sex and the city lately. but it, coupled with a conversation i had with my mom, has gotten me thinking.
there is obviously a big generational difference between my mother and me. she has always tailor made her personality to attractive to a man. and whenever she wants me to feel bad about myself, or even if she just wants to "nudge" me in the "right" direction, she'll say things like "men don't like women who are x y and z". what exactly is x y and z?
opinionated.. no, and i don't mean that she is telling me to mold my opinions to whatever my boy/man friend/lover/husband's are (though admittedly she has always done this herself). i am not good at being quiet and demure. i am loud and open about my life - obviously i don't tell strangers/new aquaintances inappropriate things, but my life is an open book and i believe that for myself (not necessarily for other people), there is no other way. if someone asks me something, 9 times out of 10 i will tell them. and i don't tell people what they want to hear. if i think they are fucking up colossally or in a bad situation, and they ask my advice, i will tell them so. not in such words, though.
not being a doe-eyed prude is a problem too, because men don't like women who've been around the block. they like untainted virgins, or at least someone who doesn't know what they're doing. this way, the man can feel like the "teacher", or at least he can be assured that should a baby come into the mix, it's HIS mix that put it there. god knows a man wouldn't want someone who has experienced life and brought her experiences into the equation, someone who is confident and DOES know what she's doing, because that might raise the bar a lil bit wouldn't it?
this is why i find it so difficult to tolerate my mom's seemingly constant stream of advice.
i live my life how i want to. i wouldn't want to be involved with this old fashioned, control freak, gender-role obsessed kind of man (because, this day and age, that is what he probably would be) unless of course, he were gregory peck. i go through my moments when i piss and moan about being single - usually on rainy nights like this one when my loveseat feels vast and empty - but i don't need anyone to make me happy. i refuse to change who i am in order to win something or someone. i'm perfectly happy with my x y and z.
oh, and birthday facials kick ass.
there is obviously a big generational difference between my mother and me. she has always tailor made her personality to attractive to a man. and whenever she wants me to feel bad about myself, or even if she just wants to "nudge" me in the "right" direction, she'll say things like "men don't like women who are x y and z". what exactly is x y and z?
opinionated.. no, and i don't mean that she is telling me to mold my opinions to whatever my boy/man friend/lover/husband's are (though admittedly she has always done this herself). i am not good at being quiet and demure. i am loud and open about my life - obviously i don't tell strangers/new aquaintances inappropriate things, but my life is an open book and i believe that for myself (not necessarily for other people), there is no other way. if someone asks me something, 9 times out of 10 i will tell them. and i don't tell people what they want to hear. if i think they are fucking up colossally or in a bad situation, and they ask my advice, i will tell them so. not in such words, though.
not being a doe-eyed prude is a problem too, because men don't like women who've been around the block. they like untainted virgins, or at least someone who doesn't know what they're doing. this way, the man can feel like the "teacher", or at least he can be assured that should a baby come into the mix, it's HIS mix that put it there. god knows a man wouldn't want someone who has experienced life and brought her experiences into the equation, someone who is confident and DOES know what she's doing, because that might raise the bar a lil bit wouldn't it?
this is why i find it so difficult to tolerate my mom's seemingly constant stream of advice.
i live my life how i want to. i wouldn't want to be involved with this old fashioned, control freak, gender-role obsessed kind of man (because, this day and age, that is what he probably would be) unless of course, he were gregory peck. i go through my moments when i piss and moan about being single - usually on rainy nights like this one when my loveseat feels vast and empty - but i don't need anyone to make me happy. i refuse to change who i am in order to win something or someone. i'm perfectly happy with my x y and z.
oh, and birthday facials kick ass.