The Five Stages of Letting Go of My Dissertation
Denial - Oh, yes, if I'm really serious, I can do interviews, cajole the asshole priest into not finding me threatening and write my dissertation in a timely fashion while holding down the full-time job I need to have to pay my more than $100,000 in student loans. Yes I can!
Anger - There's no fucking way I can finish this fucker. Fucker! Fucking academia is made for people with no fucking lives! All those men who finish their dissertations all had WIVES to do everything so that they could mentally masturbate to their own genius and get the fucking disseration finished. Fuckers.
Bargaining - No, really. If they just give me an extension and no tuition, I can do it. I spent all of those years in observer participation, it would really be a crying shame to walk away ABD. I can figure out something. And you know, even though my advisor has gone crazy and is on medical leave, I'm sure another member of the faculty will be willing to pick me up as an advisee. They really WANT me to finish my degree. Plus, I owe it to the community I've been learning from to make something out of this and not just walk away from them like a typical, exploiting, capitalist honky.
Depression - my dissertation would suck anyway. I have no field notes because I hate journaling. I suck. I'm a bad scholar and a worse anthropologist. I passed my comps by the skin of my teeth and on the generosity of the graders. My work is sub-par and the university doesn't give two shits whether I finish or not.
Acceptance - TBA
x-posted to my personal journal
Anger - There's no fucking way I can finish this fucker. Fucker! Fucking academia is made for people with no fucking lives! All those men who finish their dissertations all had WIVES to do everything so that they could mentally masturbate to their own genius and get the fucking disseration finished. Fuckers.
Bargaining - No, really. If they just give me an extension and no tuition, I can do it. I spent all of those years in observer participation, it would really be a crying shame to walk away ABD. I can figure out something. And you know, even though my advisor has gone crazy and is on medical leave, I'm sure another member of the faculty will be willing to pick me up as an advisee. They really WANT me to finish my degree. Plus, I owe it to the community I've been learning from to make something out of this and not just walk away from them like a typical, exploiting, capitalist honky.
Depression - my dissertation would suck anyway. I have no field notes because I hate journaling. I suck. I'm a bad scholar and a worse anthropologist. I passed my comps by the skin of my teeth and on the generosity of the graders. My work is sub-par and the university doesn't give two shits whether I finish or not.
Acceptance - TBA
x-posted to my personal journal