SG-1 ficlet: RADAR!
So, um, "Zero Hour" was supposed to make me think of M*A*S*H right? I mean, otherwise it was a cute, amusing, entirely forgettable episode. But the M*A*S*H (actually, "Heroes" reminded me a little of a M*A*S*H episode in spots too) was so screaming off the TV screen.
It, um, might have inspired me to write something. It's amusing me, though it's not quite as funny as I wanted it to be. Partly an homage to my first fandom.
RADAR!
(set early season 8, only spoilery for character military rank)
Jack kept his back flattened to the wall and looked furtively left, then right, before jumping to the double doors across the way. Success! Sneaking from his office to the commissary without anyone stopping to ask him a question may be less dangerous than sneaking through a Goa'uld ship, but it was infinitely harder.
Daniel raised an eyebrow at him as he stood, back pressed against the double doors, before shaking his head and going back to an animated conversation with Carter. Jack thought, given the hand motions, they might be talking about some secret way to defeat Ba'al by combining football and curling, but it could just have something to do with those invisible Nintendo things. He shrugged, figured he'd hear about it soon enough, and grabbed a slice of pie - sweet, they had peach today - before sitting next to Teal'c.
"It is good to see you away from your desk, general," Teal'c told him. Jack swore Teal'c was saying "general" as often as he could and he was pretty sure he hasn't been imagining the smirk in his voice.
"No kidding," Jack said as he stole Daniel's coffee, batting away the hand that reached out to steal it back. "I think I know how Henry Blake felt."
Carter grinned, putting a hand up to stifle a giggle and Daniel's brow creased in puzzlement for a second while Teal'c did the head nod of "crazy Tauri making strange references."
"It's Sergeant Harriman. He's always got that damn clipboard, he's there whenever I turn around, and half the time he answers my questions before I can ask them," Jack muttered, giving Daniel back the nearly empty mug. "I mean, his name's even Walter for crying out loud. I've nearly called him Radar three times today."
"Why would you refer to Sergeant Harriman as a sensing device?" Teal'c asked.
"No, Teal'c, Radar was a character on a tv show," Daniel explained.
"Not just any tv show, Daniel," Jack corrected. "A TV show that nearly overpowered New York City's sewer system."
"It does not sound like an appealing show if so many people threw it into the sewers," Teal'c commented.
"No, Teal'c it wasn't like that," Carter told him, smiling. "The final episode was the most popular television event ever and nobody wanted to use the bathroom while it was on so when it was over, they all, you know…" Carter waved a hand dismissively.
"T, you've watched Star Wars over a dozen times and you've never heard of M*A*S*H?" Jack asked, incredulous. Teal'c dignified the comment with a raised eyebrow before turning his attention to his pie.
"So Sergeant Harriman is Radar and you're Henry Blake?" Carter asked.
"Yep," Jack answered. "Right down to drowning in the paper work. Though, I don't think I'm exactly like him. The nurses aren't chasing after me."
"Have you had a toilet explode on you yet?"
"Nope."
"What about that time on P4X -279?"
"Daniel dropped the grenade. Not my fault."
"Hey!"
"Just don't start wearing your fishing hat to work. And getting your fingers stuck in the hooks when you salute."
"Oh, hey, that's an idea…" Jack said, wondering if they could get a pond installed in some sublevel. Maybe he could bribe an SG team to bring back some alien fish to stock it with.
"Okay, so if you're Henry Blake, who am I?" Daniel asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.
Jack thought a minute. "Father Mulcahy."
"Daniel Jackson is not a priest," Teal'c declared, still focused on his pie.
"No, but he does all that meaning of life stuff," Jack told him. "T, you're harder. Maybe a cross between Colonel Flagg and Klinger?"
Daniel dodged out of the way as Carter spit her coffee at the comment. "I don't think Teal'c wears dresses very often," she choked.
"He does the robe thing."
"Okay, so who am I? The guy who ran the motor pool?" Carter asked, mopping at the table with a napkin.
"Oh, c'mon, it's obvious," Jack said, shooting Carter a grin. When she only looked confused he sighed and told her, "You're totally Hot Lips."
"I do not believe Colonel Carter's lip temperature is hotter than anyone else's," Teal'c told them. Jack was pretty sure he was being deliberately difficult at this point. Unfortunately, Carter didn't seem to be smiling.
"You…You…" Carter stammered, apparently unsure whether to amused or mad at him.
"Who you calling a you-you?" Jack shot back. At the look on her face he decided this might be time to beat a hasty retreat. He was halfway out of his chair when the door started opening and he ducked under the table as Walter's head popped in.
"Is General O'Neill here?" Sergeant Harriman asked. Jack reached out to grab Carter's ankle, earning himself a kick.
"You, uh, just missed him," Daniel said and Jack resisted the sudden urge to hug him. "I think he might have been going to visit the science labs."
Jack waited a long minute after Harriman left before crawling back out. "Thanks. I've got to find where he hid my tracking device."
"Think we can get him to shout 'Choppers!' or at least wear that funny hat?" Daniel asked.
It, um, might have inspired me to write something. It's amusing me, though it's not quite as funny as I wanted it to be. Partly an homage to my first fandom.
RADAR!
(set early season 8, only spoilery for character military rank)
Jack kept his back flattened to the wall and looked furtively left, then right, before jumping to the double doors across the way. Success! Sneaking from his office to the commissary without anyone stopping to ask him a question may be less dangerous than sneaking through a Goa'uld ship, but it was infinitely harder.
Daniel raised an eyebrow at him as he stood, back pressed against the double doors, before shaking his head and going back to an animated conversation with Carter. Jack thought, given the hand motions, they might be talking about some secret way to defeat Ba'al by combining football and curling, but it could just have something to do with those invisible Nintendo things. He shrugged, figured he'd hear about it soon enough, and grabbed a slice of pie - sweet, they had peach today - before sitting next to Teal'c.
"It is good to see you away from your desk, general," Teal'c told him. Jack swore Teal'c was saying "general" as often as he could and he was pretty sure he hasn't been imagining the smirk in his voice.
"No kidding," Jack said as he stole Daniel's coffee, batting away the hand that reached out to steal it back. "I think I know how Henry Blake felt."
Carter grinned, putting a hand up to stifle a giggle and Daniel's brow creased in puzzlement for a second while Teal'c did the head nod of "crazy Tauri making strange references."
"It's Sergeant Harriman. He's always got that damn clipboard, he's there whenever I turn around, and half the time he answers my questions before I can ask them," Jack muttered, giving Daniel back the nearly empty mug. "I mean, his name's even Walter for crying out loud. I've nearly called him Radar three times today."
"Why would you refer to Sergeant Harriman as a sensing device?" Teal'c asked.
"No, Teal'c, Radar was a character on a tv show," Daniel explained.
"Not just any tv show, Daniel," Jack corrected. "A TV show that nearly overpowered New York City's sewer system."
"It does not sound like an appealing show if so many people threw it into the sewers," Teal'c commented.
"No, Teal'c it wasn't like that," Carter told him, smiling. "The final episode was the most popular television event ever and nobody wanted to use the bathroom while it was on so when it was over, they all, you know…" Carter waved a hand dismissively.
"T, you've watched Star Wars over a dozen times and you've never heard of M*A*S*H?" Jack asked, incredulous. Teal'c dignified the comment with a raised eyebrow before turning his attention to his pie.
"So Sergeant Harriman is Radar and you're Henry Blake?" Carter asked.
"Yep," Jack answered. "Right down to drowning in the paper work. Though, I don't think I'm exactly like him. The nurses aren't chasing after me."
"Have you had a toilet explode on you yet?"
"Nope."
"What about that time on P4X -279?"
"Daniel dropped the grenade. Not my fault."
"Hey!"
"Just don't start wearing your fishing hat to work. And getting your fingers stuck in the hooks when you salute."
"Oh, hey, that's an idea…" Jack said, wondering if they could get a pond installed in some sublevel. Maybe he could bribe an SG team to bring back some alien fish to stock it with.
"Okay, so if you're Henry Blake, who am I?" Daniel asked, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms.
Jack thought a minute. "Father Mulcahy."
"Daniel Jackson is not a priest," Teal'c declared, still focused on his pie.
"No, but he does all that meaning of life stuff," Jack told him. "T, you're harder. Maybe a cross between Colonel Flagg and Klinger?"
Daniel dodged out of the way as Carter spit her coffee at the comment. "I don't think Teal'c wears dresses very often," she choked.
"He does the robe thing."
"Okay, so who am I? The guy who ran the motor pool?" Carter asked, mopping at the table with a napkin.
"Oh, c'mon, it's obvious," Jack said, shooting Carter a grin. When she only looked confused he sighed and told her, "You're totally Hot Lips."
"I do not believe Colonel Carter's lip temperature is hotter than anyone else's," Teal'c told them. Jack was pretty sure he was being deliberately difficult at this point. Unfortunately, Carter didn't seem to be smiling.
"You…You…" Carter stammered, apparently unsure whether to amused or mad at him.
"Who you calling a you-you?" Jack shot back. At the look on her face he decided this might be time to beat a hasty retreat. He was halfway out of his chair when the door started opening and he ducked under the table as Walter's head popped in.
"Is General O'Neill here?" Sergeant Harriman asked. Jack reached out to grab Carter's ankle, earning himself a kick.
"You, uh, just missed him," Daniel said and Jack resisted the sudden urge to hug him. "I think he might have been going to visit the science labs."
Jack waited a long minute after Harriman left before crawling back out. "Thanks. I've got to find where he hid my tracking device."
"Think we can get him to shout 'Choppers!' or at least wear that funny hat?" Daniel asked.