hc_bingo fic; loss of voice
Title: name of first submission
Fandom: Hetalia (Axis Powers Hetalia)
Prompt: Loss of Voice
Medium: Fic
Wordcount: 1058
Rating: PG
Warnings: Implied child abuse
Summary: Matthew is three when he learns that he's not important.
Matthew is three the first time his mother whacks him. His parents’ friends think nothing of it; Matthew had been misbehaving, and he needed to be punished.
It continues, sometimes even when Matthew is not misbehaving, and he learns to avoid his mother. He’s seven when he thinks of telling someone, but decides against it.
His father doesn’t notice the bruises Matthew hides, and he doesn’t notice that Matthew is terrified of his mother. (His father doesn’t notice him at all.)
Alfred, his brother, doesn’t notice anything either, and defends their mother. The words he wants to say are stuck in his throat as Alfred continues to offer words of praise for their mother. (Matthew envies him; he’s the child that their mother wants, and Matthew knows she views him as nothing but a burden.)
Matthew watches as Alfred gets away with dropping his bag on the ground, making a mess in the process, and he can’t help but think that maybe his mother just simply hates him. However, Matthew says nothing even when his mother corners him that night.
He doesn’t have any friends at school; no one seems to see him, and no one sees the bruises that he can barely cover. He watches as Alfred, surrounded by friends, is fussed over whenever he’s hurt (and Matthew cannot deny that it hurts him too, to see this occurring.)
He wishes for someone to notice and see him, and Matthew knows that it doesn’t matter; even if he voices the pain he suffers from his mother, his mother will refute, and he will lose in that battle.
Matthew stays silent even as the beatings get worse. He doesn’t say anything in fear of angering his mother and making the punishment even more painful. He only cries once his mother leaves.
It’s when he’s ten that he makes his first friend. His name is Gilbert, and Matthew likes playing with him. (Gilbert is also the first to know of his mother’s abuse.)
Matthew finds himself leaning on Gilbert when he just can’t handle life, and Gilbert is the perfect person to keep him from drowning in his own pain and sadness.
However, his mother finds out about this relationship through Alfred, and his mother beats him to near death that night. He can’t quite keep in the pained cries, but he tries his best because he hopes that this lessens the blows his mother inflicts on him.
Matthew falls unconscious about halfway through, and he doesn’t know the full story.
He wakes up in the hospital, numb, and Alfred is sitting by his bed, asleep. He can hear his father’s muffled voice and a stranger. He doesn’t know what is going on, and as he hears someone open the door, he quickly closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep.
It seems that all he needed to do is close his eyes because Matthew finds himself falling asleep soon after that.
The second time he wakes up, Alfred is up, and he sees his younger brother’s red eyes, and tries to comfort him, except he doesn’t know why Alfred is upset and why he was crying (Matthew has never seen his brother cry except that time he broke his arm trying to climb a tree.)
Alfred, through his tears, explains that their mother has been arrested and charged with abuse.
Matthew knows that Alfred doesn’t really understand what that means and for a moment, Matthew feels sorry because Alfred had always preferred their mother over their father, until he realizes that he doesn’t need to fear anymore. The relief that spreads through him is overwhelming, and he doesn’t realize he’s crying until Alfred panics and calls in their father and the doctor.
Matthew is so happy when he sees people are concerned for him, but he tries his best to tell them that he’s fine (it doesn’t work; his voice is hoarse and he’s trying not to cry too hard.) Eventually, his father picks up on his message, and ushers Alfred out.
The doctor explains to him the damage done (Matthew doesn’t understand completely, but he manages to take that he nearly died and Alfred is the reason he’s alive), and then Matthew is left alone to think on this.
He doesn’t say anything to Alfred once his brother comes in. He wants to show his gratitude but he doesn’t know how. Matthew is hit with the realization that he doesn’t really know how to communicate with Alfred.
A month passes by before Matthew can even get a moment to himself. (And in a way, it’s scary, really scary.) Matthew does his best to grow used to the people that are near constantly around him, and he cherishes the moments that he has alone.
He doesn’t speak much once he’s released, and Alfred becomes too overbearing that it’s suffocating him. Matthew refuses to talk mostly because he’s in a state of shock; he doesn’t know how to handle the attention he’s gaining now, and he hates this attention, hates that it took a near-death beating to get this attention.
Matthew likes Gilbert and his attention, but he hates being stuck with too many people keeping an eye on him.
Years soon pass, and Matthew fades once again into the background. It isn’t like the last time, where he feared for his life, but Matthew becomes sick of this, and decides to run. He decides that staying with Alfred and his father will do nothing but build resentment and unnecessary hatred.
Matthew has no problem packing and storing the items needed for his trip, and he regrets nothing as he looks at what used to be his room, and nearly smiles as he remembers the first year after his mother’s arrest. At the same time, it takes a lot to hide the tears that want to fall, but he says nothing-there is nothing to say.
Gilbert is the only one who knows (and maybe understands), and he is the one that sees Matthew off on his journey, promising to follow at the end of the year when he graduates. Matthew wishes that someone other than Gilbert will hear him out, will pay attention to him and not the person next to him.
(But some part of him knows that will never happen, and so he becomes a phantom.)
Fandom: Hetalia (Axis Powers Hetalia)
Prompt: Loss of Voice
Medium: Fic
Wordcount: 1058
Rating: PG
Warnings: Implied child abuse
Summary: Matthew is three when he learns that he's not important.
Matthew is three the first time his mother whacks him. His parents’ friends think nothing of it; Matthew had been misbehaving, and he needed to be punished.
It continues, sometimes even when Matthew is not misbehaving, and he learns to avoid his mother. He’s seven when he thinks of telling someone, but decides against it.
His father doesn’t notice the bruises Matthew hides, and he doesn’t notice that Matthew is terrified of his mother. (His father doesn’t notice him at all.)
Alfred, his brother, doesn’t notice anything either, and defends their mother. The words he wants to say are stuck in his throat as Alfred continues to offer words of praise for their mother. (Matthew envies him; he’s the child that their mother wants, and Matthew knows she views him as nothing but a burden.)
Matthew watches as Alfred gets away with dropping his bag on the ground, making a mess in the process, and he can’t help but think that maybe his mother just simply hates him. However, Matthew says nothing even when his mother corners him that night.
He doesn’t have any friends at school; no one seems to see him, and no one sees the bruises that he can barely cover. He watches as Alfred, surrounded by friends, is fussed over whenever he’s hurt (and Matthew cannot deny that it hurts him too, to see this occurring.)
He wishes for someone to notice and see him, and Matthew knows that it doesn’t matter; even if he voices the pain he suffers from his mother, his mother will refute, and he will lose in that battle.
Matthew stays silent even as the beatings get worse. He doesn’t say anything in fear of angering his mother and making the punishment even more painful. He only cries once his mother leaves.
It’s when he’s ten that he makes his first friend. His name is Gilbert, and Matthew likes playing with him. (Gilbert is also the first to know of his mother’s abuse.)
Matthew finds himself leaning on Gilbert when he just can’t handle life, and Gilbert is the perfect person to keep him from drowning in his own pain and sadness.
However, his mother finds out about this relationship through Alfred, and his mother beats him to near death that night. He can’t quite keep in the pained cries, but he tries his best because he hopes that this lessens the blows his mother inflicts on him.
Matthew falls unconscious about halfway through, and he doesn’t know the full story.
He wakes up in the hospital, numb, and Alfred is sitting by his bed, asleep. He can hear his father’s muffled voice and a stranger. He doesn’t know what is going on, and as he hears someone open the door, he quickly closes his eyes and pretends to be asleep.
It seems that all he needed to do is close his eyes because Matthew finds himself falling asleep soon after that.
The second time he wakes up, Alfred is up, and he sees his younger brother’s red eyes, and tries to comfort him, except he doesn’t know why Alfred is upset and why he was crying (Matthew has never seen his brother cry except that time he broke his arm trying to climb a tree.)
Alfred, through his tears, explains that their mother has been arrested and charged with abuse.
Matthew knows that Alfred doesn’t really understand what that means and for a moment, Matthew feels sorry because Alfred had always preferred their mother over their father, until he realizes that he doesn’t need to fear anymore. The relief that spreads through him is overwhelming, and he doesn’t realize he’s crying until Alfred panics and calls in their father and the doctor.
Matthew is so happy when he sees people are concerned for him, but he tries his best to tell them that he’s fine (it doesn’t work; his voice is hoarse and he’s trying not to cry too hard.) Eventually, his father picks up on his message, and ushers Alfred out.
The doctor explains to him the damage done (Matthew doesn’t understand completely, but he manages to take that he nearly died and Alfred is the reason he’s alive), and then Matthew is left alone to think on this.
He doesn’t say anything to Alfred once his brother comes in. He wants to show his gratitude but he doesn’t know how. Matthew is hit with the realization that he doesn’t really know how to communicate with Alfred.
A month passes by before Matthew can even get a moment to himself. (And in a way, it’s scary, really scary.) Matthew does his best to grow used to the people that are near constantly around him, and he cherishes the moments that he has alone.
He doesn’t speak much once he’s released, and Alfred becomes too overbearing that it’s suffocating him. Matthew refuses to talk mostly because he’s in a state of shock; he doesn’t know how to handle the attention he’s gaining now, and he hates this attention, hates that it took a near-death beating to get this attention.
Matthew likes Gilbert and his attention, but he hates being stuck with too many people keeping an eye on him.
Years soon pass, and Matthew fades once again into the background. It isn’t like the last time, where he feared for his life, but Matthew becomes sick of this, and decides to run. He decides that staying with Alfred and his father will do nothing but build resentment and unnecessary hatred.
Matthew has no problem packing and storing the items needed for his trip, and he regrets nothing as he looks at what used to be his room, and nearly smiles as he remembers the first year after his mother’s arrest. At the same time, it takes a lot to hide the tears that want to fall, but he says nothing-there is nothing to say.
Gilbert is the only one who knows (and maybe understands), and he is the one that sees Matthew off on his journey, promising to follow at the end of the year when he graduates. Matthew wishes that someone other than Gilbert will hear him out, will pay attention to him and not the person next to him.
(But some part of him knows that will never happen, and so he becomes a phantom.)