Apology; Hurt/Comfort Bingo
Title: Apology
Prompt: Atonement
Medium: Fic
Rating: PG
Warnings: Fail hurt/comfort, inaccuracies, minor character death (unnamed person).
Summary: Leaf turned to face the scary, impressive house. It horrified her.
Notes: Based on the song "Madness of Duke Venomania" by Gackpoid featuring Luka Megurine, Miku Hatsune, Megpoid and MEIKO.
Leaf turned and looked back at the mansion, standing as proudly as it was just moments before. Even when released by Ike’s spell, she still felt as if there was something wrong, as if she should be there with him.
Shaking that feeling off, she continued down the road, trying to continue on towards the path in front of her. The desire to go back to the mansion, to beg for forgiveness, was overwhelming, but Leaf didn’t act on the sudden desire-she only kept moving forward.
It didn’t stop her from feeling guilty about his death-had she been a better friend, maybe this could’ve ended differently. Had she not been as cruel to him (mercilessly teasing him), maybe he wouldn’t have sold his soul to the devil himself.
Had it not been for the fact that she, herself, was a coward and picked on him when she had actually been in love with him, maybe things would’ve had a fairytale ending. Instead, she had pushed him away, and ignored her feelings to the best of her abilities.
Had she been paying attention to the signs-like his disappearance, for instance-she might’ve been able to save him from this fate. It was worse, knowing that she had left him to die, but she couldn’t face him, couldn’t attempt to save him from himself.
It hurt, knowing that his death could be reflected onto her-she might meet him in the end, since all demons go to Hell. She also knew that all those memories would haunt her forever.
Leaf had found Ike curled into a ball, and she found it okay to sit right next to him, wrapping an arm around his smaller body. Since she was a year older-ten, to be exact of her age-she had taken it upon herself to look after him.
“Ike, what happened?” She hoped that he would open up to her, and tell her what she already knew. She was hoping that he would also stop crying, as she was certain that he was being bullied quite mercilessly.
Instead of either of those options, he clung to her and started to cry even more. She couldn't bring herself to tell him to grow up or anything, so all she could do was hug him back and slowly but surely calm him.
"Ike, I think you should start growing up," she snapped. It hadn't helped-she tried to be nice to him and support him, but that only made him weaker than he already was. She also attempted to ignore him, which had only succeeded in making him clingier than he was.
"W-why do you say that," he whimpered. His eyes were wide with shock, and she didn't think she's ever seen him with such a pained expression. It almost made her take back what she had said, but she refrained from doing so-if she didn't stick with her original words, she'd end up only encouraging him to keep using her as a support beam.
"You shouldn't depend on me. You're too weak, too pathetic. I can't stand being with you all the time!" She tried to keep her voice even, and it seemed to work as his eyes started to fill with tears.
"If you feel that way, I'll leave you," he whispered, his eyes full of such sadness that she couldn't stand to look at them any longer. Without even bothering to say goodbye, she left him all alone in his room.
That had been when she was fourteen, going onto fifteen. It had been four years since that had happened-she was nineteen right now. "I shouldn't have said those things to you," she murmured. "But I have to keep going for both of our sakes."
It had been a few weeks since she had said those hurtful things to him, and she had started to pick on him. Joining in with the bullies she (not-so) secretly hated, she started to tease him; the jokes were more offensive than the ones that the others had said.
She hated that he stared at her with such a betrayed expression, and that she had the urge to run to him and wrap her arms around him. Instead, she continued with the teasing, hoping to kill two birds with one stone-she’d get rid of those rumors about him and her being a couple, and she'd get him to stand up for himself.
She hadn't expected him to make a pact with the devil, hadn't expected that he'd be murdered because of his insecurities (however indirect it was.) She was hoping to rebuild their relationship, to rekindle the fire within him-she hadn't known that he loved her.
It hadn't mattered in the end, as the things happened in the way that they did. Instead of having a fairytale ending, it was a tragic ending only fit for the most romantic of lovers. Instead of having that spur of the moment proposal, she had him crying for her wait so he could declare his love for her.
'Fairytales are stupid,' she thought. There was no happily ever after, there was no beautiful castles awaiting her-her parents had lied about her getting that fairytale ending she so desperately craved. In the end, she hadn't fallen in love with the prince, but a beast disguised as a prince.
Maybe, once she had finished what she had set out to do, she would've admitted her love for him, but she didn't have the opportunity, and she was stuck in this maybe destined fairytale. She was stuck fantasizing about what could have been.
She was stuck with remembering a memory so long ago that it was warped, almost to the point where it could be a lie. A lie, warped by her own mind, a memory that she maybe had conceived to convince herself that what she was doing was right.
She had found him standing up to the bullies that had brought his self-esteem down. She found his eyes burning with an anger that she hadn’t ever seen before. In a way, Leaf was terrified of her former best friend. Ike was threatening them, bringing up things that one should not know without either spying on them, or being involved with them-even she knew that Ike wasn’t involved in anything.
“I-Ike. Please, please, stop from doing that.” At least, she wanted to tell him that. Instead, she could only stare in shock, as if she couldn’t believe it was him.
That had always been the scariest memory of Ike that she had. Now, now she wasn’t sure if that memory had been forged by herself to justify her actions. After seeing his undying kindness to all the women he’d captured with his powers, she just couldn’t believe him to be a demon.