Fic - Old Haunts (Jenny, Jenny/Mike) R, 1/1

[abvj]

Title Old Haunts
Summary You forget, she says. I knew you once
Rating: hard r
Author's Notes:2,492 words. Set after High Noon. General series spoilers. I have no idea how this happened, except that youcallitwinter asked and I don't know how to refuse her anything because she is so awesome, thus here we are. First time with these characters, so con-crit is both

Comments

[youcallitwinter]

I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M SO LATE TO THIS. THAT THIS HAS EXISTED IN THE UNIVERSE AND I WASN'T EVEN AWARE TILL TODAY.

Oh, god, how could you, my heart.

I've always liked Jenny, which is strange because I know that most of fandom dislikes her as a character and not solely because of Mike/Jenny, but I think your fic is the why of it. I think it's such a beautiful, beautiful exploration of how I see Jenny in canon; completely messed up, in love with a guy who is attracted to her but she knows that might be because she's the unattainable, his best friend's girlfriend, and when he gets her, he isn't as interested as he'd been before. I mean Still, she thought he would try a little harder. GUH. That's exactly it in a sentence D:

Also, I think canon was terrible to Jenny's character and you've redeemed it here with this fic and all those things that should have happened. I love that she just stands at the back and then leaves; I think that defines their relationship for me; I mean, of course she would go to the funeral and it wouldn't be about either of them, but because they were so much before they were lovers and that doesn't just goes away. Jenny and Trevor would understand this moment and what it means for Mike more than perhaps anyone can.

You writing is so visceral, I can't even deal with it. That scene between Trevor and Jenny was easily imaginable; Trevor was just that bit cruel and Jenny was just that bit selfish and you can imagine that Mike's sort of been between them since the very beginning even if they've never been so open about it, but now it's out there and it's so raw and real, and they just want to hurt each other, which, considering they've been dating since five years, also means that they can, that they know the trigger points.

In the following days every time she tried to mold her mouth into a smile, her bottom lip split in two, the copper spilling into her mouth.
It was a needless reminder.

THAT IS ONE OF THE BEST SENTENCES I'VE EVER READ. It transforms something completely mundane and usual into something poetic. HOW DO YOU WORDS?

Jenny may not have a memory like his, but she still knows him, can rattle off his routines like a bad habit. 
I HATE YOU FOR WRITING THIS FIC, NOW I SHALL FOREVER WANT MORE. But god, I love that, I love that he's a bad habit for her, even though she doesn't have a photographic memory, he's still somehow imprinted in her head, always has been and she can't seem to forget, even when she knows she should.

[youcallitwinter]

Then, of course, she remembers - that was never their reality.

And I adore how you've incorporated their past into this, that one of the tragedies of who they are together now is that they were based on possibilities. That even while they were dating/were in love with other people, you can tell it was at the back of their heads that maybe someday, and that they lingered just a little longer and turned their innocuous moments into more than they would ordinarily have been (like fixing his tie and collar as Jenny apparently did routinely), that they had all these long glances and almost moments together in the five years, which they always ended but it's not difficult to imagine that they made it into something more, and of course it wasn't real, because they were building it inside their heads, and they've killed that possibility by exploring it, that's tragic. guh, my kids, LET ME LOVE YOU.

I love the pace of this fic, it's so slow in places and hard in others, if that makes sense, and I love the dreamy quality of their lovemaking where Jenny is mostly trying to convince herself that it isn't any more than she allows it to be, and even if she thinks it, it won't be real till she says it, so she doesn't say it.

There are things she wishes she could forget, the minute details she picked up over the years that mean nothing by themselves but gather and intermingle to create a vast array of information she has use for no longer.

This is gorgeous. The idea that she knows so much about him and now that information's redundant, it's just cluttering up her head.  That she spent so much time learning him that she can't forget him even if she tries, but she has no use for it. That's a brilliant description for any relationship that's fallen out and JUST STOP WITH YOUR WORDS ALREADY.

The smile she offers is sad and brittle near the edges. She thinks about it for a moment before answering softly, “I just want us to stop hurting each other.”

THAT IS MY IDEA OF WHO THEY ARE TOO, WHY DO YOU EXIST TO WRITE THIS AND MAKE ME FEEL ALL THE THINGS UGH. I think they can hurt each other more than anyone else in their lives can, because they represent an idealism to each other which was lost in all their other relationships and as they grew up. You can tell from their interactions, even before they got together, that Jenny to Mike was good and beautiful and kind and all those Hallmark cliches that you only think someone in terms of when you're young enough, and that he could never have her; that she "deserved better" than Trevor or him because nobody he knew could match up to what she 'deserved'. And Mike to Jenny was that guy who always looked out for her, whom she wouldn't be able to understand how everyone wasn't in love with because she, deep down, always had been. So, when they were over, that part of them was over too. I just love how quietly tender this fic is, that even with all the underlying bitterness and betrayal, there's also an equal amount of love that Jenny doesn't know what to do with.

I think you captured everything beautifully and I just want you to write these two forever because it's grossly unfair how good you are at this.

OKAY, THIS IS 1000+ WORDS AND WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? DDD:

tldr; I LOVE YOU. That is all.